I debated writing this post because I don’t have an extreme point of view. But maybe part of the problem is that less extreme opinions rarely have a platform. So, here goes… Last weekend, we got emails from both Mazzy and Harlow’s schools— starting Monday they would both be mask optional, following the lead of the NYC public schools which made the leap the week prior. As a family, we felt comfortable with the news. Mazzy’s school is an 100% double vaccinated community (teachers boosted) and Harlow’s school is pretty close, except for those who have religious or medical exemptions. We gave our girls the choice of whether they wanted to wear masks or not.
We are in Harrisburg Pa and our school district just went to optional too. Other districts in the area were optional except for the bus. My oldest in middle school decided not to wear hers but my youngest in 3rd wears hers still. She said because her teacher is having a baby she wants to protect her.
Mar 11, 2022·edited Mar 13, 2022Liked by Ilana Wiles
Thank you for the thoughtful post about masking! I feel I am somewhere in the middle. We have been extremely cautious with COVID-19 and to an extent continue to be, given that my daughter's school has a preschool (they don't mingle with elementary, but they are part of the community), and her best friend has a brother under 5 years old. I see that if you don't have exposure to under 5s and live in a high vaccination area, masks are less needed. I agree that in stores I will continue to wear masks (I hope that masks are more "normal" going forward during cold/flu season), and will arrive with mask to friend get-togethers and if/when all have indicated that it is ok, we will remove masks. But, I will always cringe when I see a child blowing on a birthday cake that is subsequently served to other kids/guests (even before the pandemic, I had my daughter blowing out candles on a mini cake or cupcake, as her bday is during cold/flu season). This is probably a consequence of having been involved in biomedical research for my whole career. As for school, we just got the notice today that masks will be "strongly encouraged" as of March 14, after having been required throughout the pandemic to date. I think we will play it by ear, but stay masked initially due to the preschoolers on campus and friends with kids under 5, even with a very highly vaccinated local population. Maybe by June the under 5s will be vaccinated and with cold/flu season over, maybe then we will soften our family's stance on masking indoors a bit. In the meantime, my kid is totally fine with wearing a mask and suffers no harm, and may protect a preschooler or two.
I’m honestly not even sure how I am feeling. Our district went mask optional yesterday - they waited until it had been ten days after February break. Our vaccination rates are high within our district, 88-95% percent. They are still doing pool testing every week. But my husband is currently considered high risk. He had covid months ago and is still having severe complications, he is still really struggling with his lungs and his ability to breathe, along with many other issues. His doctor encouraged all of us to continue masking, not just because of covid but to simply protect him from all colds and viruses. My daughter is 7 and in first grade, when we initially talked about the school going mask optional she was fine with continuing to wear her mask. But then she heard so many students (and parents!) saying horrible things about families that were going to continue having their kids wear a mask. She broke down in tears every night for a week because some kids were being so mean, even though we hadn’t even made the switch yet. So we decided we would let her make the choice. But now she is breaking down because she is terrified she will bring something home and get her dad sick. So I just feel like we can’t win. She wore it under her chin yesterday and pulled it up if she was very close to people. She put it on when she rode the bus home but an older kid ripped it off her face. (He was dealt with appropriately but it was horrible for her.) So now I guess we will be driving her because she doesn’t feel comfortable going on the bus...
I understand why we are loosening up. I even, mostly, support it. But in some houses the struggle is real. And it’s hard.
My daughter has never complained about wearing a mask and has worn it regularly since the beginning of covid. She was not desperate to stop wearing it. It didn’t bother her at school. Her issue now is how people are acting. Some parents on our town Facebook page were encouraging their kids to throw masks at the teachers when they got to school yesterday, and like WTF?!? So yeah, I don’t really know how I am feeling... other than tired. I’m definitely tired.
I love this post actually and the series of parenting slighty older children. I took the same approach of letting my kids make a choice when it was optional. Some individuals I know forced there kids to not wear one ect. I felt like after 2 years of so many not choices, this was an opportunity for them to lead.
I feel similarly to you under similar circumstances. I will say, once masks were no longer required at schools in our area, we got Covid again (all vaccinated and boosted, mild symptoms), a different respiratory infection, AND a violent stomach bug. That made me want those masks back ASAP! Agh!
I think this is a totally reasonable point of view, and it was heartwarming and kind of a relief hearing about how the kids haven’t chosen to completely abandon the masks and are using their own judgement of when to have them on. It makes me hopeful for a more compassionate future.
I have personally been feeling very nervous about mask mandates lifting, mainly because I have a 4yo and a baby (obv both unvaccinated and one too young to wear a mask at all). I still kind of wish this all could have held off just a few more months until a vaccine is available to everyone. Right now, for us, it kind feels like we’re living in this scary alternate universe, watching the whole world lowering precautions, while our little kids are still unprotected. It’s really hard.
However, once we get to the place where you guys are at, where our entire family can be fully vaccinated, I know I will feel very similar and more neutral about it.
Our schools ended mask mandates February 28th and I couldn't have been happier about it. My kids have only worn masks to school for over a year now as they weren't required anywhere else. As an early childhood educator I've seen how masks have affected children in different ways especially with speech and reading development.
Thanks for sharing. We haven't used masks since Nov 2021 and I feel perfectly fine with it.i told my 5yo it was her choice and after a few days she decided to stop wearing it.
I have a 2 yo and based on data, his risk is minimal even though he is not vaccinated. He has never used a mask and goes to daycare. No COVID so far.
I also think that is way easier for my 5yo to learn to read at school (English is her second language) without a mask.
It also helps to look at what other countries have been doing, like Denmark's and Sweden's who do not require masks for kids and they are doing all right.
Personally, being 35 yo, it just doesn't make sense to me to wear a mask if I'm triple vaccinated. I was happy to wear it before when vaccines were not available, but now the vaccine protects me.
Also, it's a choice, so if you feel more comfortable with the mask it's ok.
I was feeling a lot of anxiety around this last night when the official guidelines came from our school district. We will be mask optional in schools next week (starts Saturday for the state of WA). I’ve told my vaccinated kids (7 and 9-1/2) I will allow them to make their own decisions. My kids are excited to not have them on in class, but have never really had an issue wearing them. I have to remind them to take them off in the car. Distancing requirements are also going away at school. I hope at least the hygiene emphasis will stay! Not only have we avoided Covid, we’ve also avoided most colds and viruses in the past 2 years. I have a slightly lowered immune system because of medication, so I will continue masking in some situations. Of course allergy season is starting so I’m back to: “Is it allergies or Covid or a cold?” I still see a majority of the community wearing them, I’ll be fascinated to see how much that changes when the mandate ends tomorrow.
I am in Puerto Rico, and the mask mandate was dropped yesterday but didn't see one person without a mask when I went out. Kids need to continue using masks at school indoors and at recess they can take them off. Anywhere I don't know people I will continue to use a mask. With friends I do not use a mask.
As a mom of a 4 year old and with family members who are immune-compromised (respiratory related), we've been super COVID cautious. I'm in the greater Philadephia area and like how others are stating, mask mandates in the school were no more a few weeks back - even my son's classroom were no one can be vaccinated yet. His teachers are vaccinated, but are no longer wearing masks and his class is about 50/50 for kiddos still wearing vs. not. We've been so isolated the last 2 years, it feels weird/challenging/risky? to just stop wearing masks, especially considering we've 'made it' the last 2 years without anyone in my household ever contracting COVID. I personally want to be DONE with mask wearing, but feel immense amounts of guilt and anxiety as a mom to do so. My son never complains about wearing his mask at school all day, but did for the first time ask about when he can stop wearing it. I want him happy and healthy and enjoy some normalcy, but part of me can't seem to 'let it go' and so, at least for now, the mask wearing in our house continues...when we go into stores and for when my son is in school. Big. Ole. Sigh.
I've been one of the more covid-cautious families in my town in Northern NJ. We stayed remote for the entirety of the 2020-2021 school year, and we were barely saw my family who lives 15 minutes way for over a year. (Personally I would have been up for increasing my circle SLIGHTLY more than we did, but other people in my family were not up for it). I wrote letters to the school board and superintendent to make sure masks were required when we went back in the Fall of 2021 because, without kids having the opportunity to be vaccinated, and no remote option, it was a choice being removed from ME as a parent to protect my kid.
But now it's 2022 -- my kids are fully vaccinated, all the adults in my family are vaccinated and boosted, and the weather's getting warmer. Despite doing everything right, we wound up getting covid in late December. (The irony is we got it from the family that was MORE PARANOID than us!). So at this point, my kids and I are the lowest possible risk to get/transmit covid to others. So am I worried? Not at all.
But I do still have family and friends with immuno-compromised loved ones and/or babies/toddlers too young to be vaccinated. Or are just too scared still, including a neighbor & friend that I think has some PTSD from all the loss her family suffered. So I'm a believer in trying to meet people where they are. If they are more worried than me and wearing a mask makes them feel better, I don't hesitate for a second to wear one. And I told the kids the same -- they can do what makes them feel comfortable, but to be aware of what's going on around them. If they see kids that feel uncomfortable or "othered" by their decision to wear a mask, to consider wearing one.
So far R (12YO) has mostly been wearing it, even though she's in the minority. I don't think it's peer pressure as much as it's just been so long and she doesn't feel "ready" to ditch it yet. L (8yo) started with it and wearing it kinda part of the day, but has been wearing it less and less. Both report that everyone's been respectful so I'm grateful for that.
As for me? I had an orchestra concert in the city last Saturday and when the orchestra was told we didn't have to wear masks, I couldn't bring myself to perform without one (I play violin so I don't need to take it off to play my instrument). I was probably one of maybe 2 string players not wearing one. I don't have any good reason, I just wasn't ready?? Weird, I know.
I love this post. You stated exactly how my family has felt regarding masks both throughout the past two years (my children never complained) as well as the approach we are taking now. Thank you for sharing!
I feel Covid 19 is the biggest fraud in history. My family and I complied, my wife and I got vaccinated, we wore masks, and so on, but the fact is Covid was never really that dangerous, certainly not to my children. Before you get mad, crunch the numbers (death rate, hospitalization rate, etc.) and you'll see what I'm saying is the inescapable truth. In Los Angeles where I live school districts capitalized on Covid at the expense of our kids who were made to wear masks until only a few weeks ago. Meanwhile, our politicians have been maskless dining and attending sporting events for more than a year, and that's not an exaggeration. Along the way, I asked the officials in our school district to disclose the hospitalization and death rates among student in our district. They refused. The fact is, there were no deaths or hospitalizations in our district or our school. It was just an exercise in how much they could control they could exert. Unfortunately, the answer ended up being "a lot" because parents were so afraid of being ostracized for not thinking Covid was that dangerous. In short, Covid became "woke." If you weren't that afraid of it, you weren't woke enough. I guess I'm no that woke. Covid is real, lucky for us it's just not that dangerous. But it is sad to see how it was used as a political tool by both the right and the left at our kids' expense.
Our school district went optional several weeks ago, here in central Ohio. My middle schooler still takes his mask with him, but I doubt he is wearing it. He is autistic and struggles with reading facial expressions to begin with. He was practically flying blind during the mask mandates. (did you know that something like 70% of all communication is nonverbal. Something I learned a few years ago when he was diagnosed.) My youngest is in Kindergarten and he won't even get out of the car at drop off without his mask (the other morning we forgot to put it on when we left the house, and when he realized he wouldn't get out, even though I told him, his backup was in the front pocket of his backpack. I had to go park, and get it out, put it on him, and walk him across the parking lot). I think I have created a bit of a monster. He will not go into anywhere without a mask on. It makes me sad. He is also autistic and doesn't read facial expressions or body language and flying blind. Of course my two neurotypical college kids are unsure of what to do. They both have adopted the put it on, if they are told to, or if they go into a crowded room. But, prefer to not wear it of course. I'm still putting it on to go into stores. But, I'm getting a lot of strange looks, because most customers are going without. I don't know.
We’ve always been mask optional where I live. I live in north Texas and we recently moved last November from Grand Prairie,tx to Arlington here. At my son’s old school where uniform was required, mostly everyone wore masks but at his new school where uniforms aren’t required, I’ve noticed less than half of the students and staff wear masks. At first my son was wanting to ditch the mask but I was still cautious about it. He still wears one but usually doesn’t wear it properly anymore. It’s always below his nose or mouth and they don’t care about it there like they did in his old school. Maybe it’s the area or maybe people are lessening the mask use. I know his school now has had 57 Covid cases so far this school year. There no vaccine mandate here so I don’t think everyone is vaccinated. My son is fully vaccinated and so am I and my husband but our 2 year old is still too young. I will still make him wear a mask every day at school just to be on the safe side. Fortunately so far as I know, people here don’t care if you wear a mask or not at school or anywhere.
We are in Harrisburg Pa and our school district just went to optional too. Other districts in the area were optional except for the bus. My oldest in middle school decided not to wear hers but my youngest in 3rd wears hers still. She said because her teacher is having a baby she wants to protect her.
Thank you for the thoughtful post about masking! I feel I am somewhere in the middle. We have been extremely cautious with COVID-19 and to an extent continue to be, given that my daughter's school has a preschool (they don't mingle with elementary, but they are part of the community), and her best friend has a brother under 5 years old. I see that if you don't have exposure to under 5s and live in a high vaccination area, masks are less needed. I agree that in stores I will continue to wear masks (I hope that masks are more "normal" going forward during cold/flu season), and will arrive with mask to friend get-togethers and if/when all have indicated that it is ok, we will remove masks. But, I will always cringe when I see a child blowing on a birthday cake that is subsequently served to other kids/guests (even before the pandemic, I had my daughter blowing out candles on a mini cake or cupcake, as her bday is during cold/flu season). This is probably a consequence of having been involved in biomedical research for my whole career. As for school, we just got the notice today that masks will be "strongly encouraged" as of March 14, after having been required throughout the pandemic to date. I think we will play it by ear, but stay masked initially due to the preschoolers on campus and friends with kids under 5, even with a very highly vaccinated local population. Maybe by June the under 5s will be vaccinated and with cold/flu season over, maybe then we will soften our family's stance on masking indoors a bit. In the meantime, my kid is totally fine with wearing a mask and suffers no harm, and may protect a preschooler or two.
I’m honestly not even sure how I am feeling. Our district went mask optional yesterday - they waited until it had been ten days after February break. Our vaccination rates are high within our district, 88-95% percent. They are still doing pool testing every week. But my husband is currently considered high risk. He had covid months ago and is still having severe complications, he is still really struggling with his lungs and his ability to breathe, along with many other issues. His doctor encouraged all of us to continue masking, not just because of covid but to simply protect him from all colds and viruses. My daughter is 7 and in first grade, when we initially talked about the school going mask optional she was fine with continuing to wear her mask. But then she heard so many students (and parents!) saying horrible things about families that were going to continue having their kids wear a mask. She broke down in tears every night for a week because some kids were being so mean, even though we hadn’t even made the switch yet. So we decided we would let her make the choice. But now she is breaking down because she is terrified she will bring something home and get her dad sick. So I just feel like we can’t win. She wore it under her chin yesterday and pulled it up if she was very close to people. She put it on when she rode the bus home but an older kid ripped it off her face. (He was dealt with appropriately but it was horrible for her.) So now I guess we will be driving her because she doesn’t feel comfortable going on the bus...
I understand why we are loosening up. I even, mostly, support it. But in some houses the struggle is real. And it’s hard.
My daughter has never complained about wearing a mask and has worn it regularly since the beginning of covid. She was not desperate to stop wearing it. It didn’t bother her at school. Her issue now is how people are acting. Some parents on our town Facebook page were encouraging their kids to throw masks at the teachers when they got to school yesterday, and like WTF?!? So yeah, I don’t really know how I am feeling... other than tired. I’m definitely tired.
I love this post actually and the series of parenting slighty older children. I took the same approach of letting my kids make a choice when it was optional. Some individuals I know forced there kids to not wear one ect. I felt like after 2 years of so many not choices, this was an opportunity for them to lead.
I feel similarly to you under similar circumstances. I will say, once masks were no longer required at schools in our area, we got Covid again (all vaccinated and boosted, mild symptoms), a different respiratory infection, AND a violent stomach bug. That made me want those masks back ASAP! Agh!
I think this is a totally reasonable point of view, and it was heartwarming and kind of a relief hearing about how the kids haven’t chosen to completely abandon the masks and are using their own judgement of when to have them on. It makes me hopeful for a more compassionate future.
I have personally been feeling very nervous about mask mandates lifting, mainly because I have a 4yo and a baby (obv both unvaccinated and one too young to wear a mask at all). I still kind of wish this all could have held off just a few more months until a vaccine is available to everyone. Right now, for us, it kind feels like we’re living in this scary alternate universe, watching the whole world lowering precautions, while our little kids are still unprotected. It’s really hard.
However, once we get to the place where you guys are at, where our entire family can be fully vaccinated, I know I will feel very similar and more neutral about it.
Our schools ended mask mandates February 28th and I couldn't have been happier about it. My kids have only worn masks to school for over a year now as they weren't required anywhere else. As an early childhood educator I've seen how masks have affected children in different ways especially with speech and reading development.
Thanks for sharing. We haven't used masks since Nov 2021 and I feel perfectly fine with it.i told my 5yo it was her choice and after a few days she decided to stop wearing it.
I have a 2 yo and based on data, his risk is minimal even though he is not vaccinated. He has never used a mask and goes to daycare. No COVID so far.
I also think that is way easier for my 5yo to learn to read at school (English is her second language) without a mask.
It also helps to look at what other countries have been doing, like Denmark's and Sweden's who do not require masks for kids and they are doing all right.
Personally, being 35 yo, it just doesn't make sense to me to wear a mask if I'm triple vaccinated. I was happy to wear it before when vaccines were not available, but now the vaccine protects me.
Also, it's a choice, so if you feel more comfortable with the mask it's ok.
I was feeling a lot of anxiety around this last night when the official guidelines came from our school district. We will be mask optional in schools next week (starts Saturday for the state of WA). I’ve told my vaccinated kids (7 and 9-1/2) I will allow them to make their own decisions. My kids are excited to not have them on in class, but have never really had an issue wearing them. I have to remind them to take them off in the car. Distancing requirements are also going away at school. I hope at least the hygiene emphasis will stay! Not only have we avoided Covid, we’ve also avoided most colds and viruses in the past 2 years. I have a slightly lowered immune system because of medication, so I will continue masking in some situations. Of course allergy season is starting so I’m back to: “Is it allergies or Covid or a cold?” I still see a majority of the community wearing them, I’ll be fascinated to see how much that changes when the mandate ends tomorrow.
I am in Puerto Rico, and the mask mandate was dropped yesterday but didn't see one person without a mask when I went out. Kids need to continue using masks at school indoors and at recess they can take them off. Anywhere I don't know people I will continue to use a mask. With friends I do not use a mask.
As a mom of a 4 year old and with family members who are immune-compromised (respiratory related), we've been super COVID cautious. I'm in the greater Philadephia area and like how others are stating, mask mandates in the school were no more a few weeks back - even my son's classroom were no one can be vaccinated yet. His teachers are vaccinated, but are no longer wearing masks and his class is about 50/50 for kiddos still wearing vs. not. We've been so isolated the last 2 years, it feels weird/challenging/risky? to just stop wearing masks, especially considering we've 'made it' the last 2 years without anyone in my household ever contracting COVID. I personally want to be DONE with mask wearing, but feel immense amounts of guilt and anxiety as a mom to do so. My son never complains about wearing his mask at school all day, but did for the first time ask about when he can stop wearing it. I want him happy and healthy and enjoy some normalcy, but part of me can't seem to 'let it go' and so, at least for now, the mask wearing in our house continues...when we go into stores and for when my son is in school. Big. Ole. Sigh.
I've been one of the more covid-cautious families in my town in Northern NJ. We stayed remote for the entirety of the 2020-2021 school year, and we were barely saw my family who lives 15 minutes way for over a year. (Personally I would have been up for increasing my circle SLIGHTLY more than we did, but other people in my family were not up for it). I wrote letters to the school board and superintendent to make sure masks were required when we went back in the Fall of 2021 because, without kids having the opportunity to be vaccinated, and no remote option, it was a choice being removed from ME as a parent to protect my kid.
But now it's 2022 -- my kids are fully vaccinated, all the adults in my family are vaccinated and boosted, and the weather's getting warmer. Despite doing everything right, we wound up getting covid in late December. (The irony is we got it from the family that was MORE PARANOID than us!). So at this point, my kids and I are the lowest possible risk to get/transmit covid to others. So am I worried? Not at all.
But I do still have family and friends with immuno-compromised loved ones and/or babies/toddlers too young to be vaccinated. Or are just too scared still, including a neighbor & friend that I think has some PTSD from all the loss her family suffered. So I'm a believer in trying to meet people where they are. If they are more worried than me and wearing a mask makes them feel better, I don't hesitate for a second to wear one. And I told the kids the same -- they can do what makes them feel comfortable, but to be aware of what's going on around them. If they see kids that feel uncomfortable or "othered" by their decision to wear a mask, to consider wearing one.
So far R (12YO) has mostly been wearing it, even though she's in the minority. I don't think it's peer pressure as much as it's just been so long and she doesn't feel "ready" to ditch it yet. L (8yo) started with it and wearing it kinda part of the day, but has been wearing it less and less. Both report that everyone's been respectful so I'm grateful for that.
As for me? I had an orchestra concert in the city last Saturday and when the orchestra was told we didn't have to wear masks, I couldn't bring myself to perform without one (I play violin so I don't need to take it off to play my instrument). I was probably one of maybe 2 string players not wearing one. I don't have any good reason, I just wasn't ready?? Weird, I know.
I love this post. You stated exactly how my family has felt regarding masks both throughout the past two years (my children never complained) as well as the approach we are taking now. Thank you for sharing!
I feel Covid 19 is the biggest fraud in history. My family and I complied, my wife and I got vaccinated, we wore masks, and so on, but the fact is Covid was never really that dangerous, certainly not to my children. Before you get mad, crunch the numbers (death rate, hospitalization rate, etc.) and you'll see what I'm saying is the inescapable truth. In Los Angeles where I live school districts capitalized on Covid at the expense of our kids who were made to wear masks until only a few weeks ago. Meanwhile, our politicians have been maskless dining and attending sporting events for more than a year, and that's not an exaggeration. Along the way, I asked the officials in our school district to disclose the hospitalization and death rates among student in our district. They refused. The fact is, there were no deaths or hospitalizations in our district or our school. It was just an exercise in how much they could control they could exert. Unfortunately, the answer ended up being "a lot" because parents were so afraid of being ostracized for not thinking Covid was that dangerous. In short, Covid became "woke." If you weren't that afraid of it, you weren't woke enough. I guess I'm no that woke. Covid is real, lucky for us it's just not that dangerous. But it is sad to see how it was used as a political tool by both the right and the left at our kids' expense.
Our school district went optional several weeks ago, here in central Ohio. My middle schooler still takes his mask with him, but I doubt he is wearing it. He is autistic and struggles with reading facial expressions to begin with. He was practically flying blind during the mask mandates. (did you know that something like 70% of all communication is nonverbal. Something I learned a few years ago when he was diagnosed.) My youngest is in Kindergarten and he won't even get out of the car at drop off without his mask (the other morning we forgot to put it on when we left the house, and when he realized he wouldn't get out, even though I told him, his backup was in the front pocket of his backpack. I had to go park, and get it out, put it on him, and walk him across the parking lot). I think I have created a bit of a monster. He will not go into anywhere without a mask on. It makes me sad. He is also autistic and doesn't read facial expressions or body language and flying blind. Of course my two neurotypical college kids are unsure of what to do. They both have adopted the put it on, if they are told to, or if they go into a crowded room. But, prefer to not wear it of course. I'm still putting it on to go into stores. But, I'm getting a lot of strange looks, because most customers are going without. I don't know.
We’ve always been mask optional where I live. I live in north Texas and we recently moved last November from Grand Prairie,tx to Arlington here. At my son’s old school where uniform was required, mostly everyone wore masks but at his new school where uniforms aren’t required, I’ve noticed less than half of the students and staff wear masks. At first my son was wanting to ditch the mask but I was still cautious about it. He still wears one but usually doesn’t wear it properly anymore. It’s always below his nose or mouth and they don’t care about it there like they did in his old school. Maybe it’s the area or maybe people are lessening the mask use. I know his school now has had 57 Covid cases so far this school year. There no vaccine mandate here so I don’t think everyone is vaccinated. My son is fully vaccinated and so am I and my husband but our 2 year old is still too young. I will still make him wear a mask every day at school just to be on the safe side. Fortunately so far as I know, people here don’t care if you wear a mask or not at school or anywhere.