Nobody talks about how COMPLEX the Santa thing gets as the kids get older. It’s like CIA level subterfuge. As a Jewish person who did not celebrate Christmas growing up, I did not realize what was coming when I innocently started putting presents under a tree back in 2014. We’ve got one non-believer
This year my 9 year old wrote a letter to Santa asking him to "make grandpa alive." He died unexpectedly last year (suicide). It broke my heart because my 9 year old was super close with him, but never seemed to really process his death. Santa had to write him a letter explaining why he couldn't bring him back. There were lots of tears from both of us.
"Then there's the last item on your list. I want you to know you're not alone in asking for me to bring back a loved one who has died. Hundred of thousands of kids write to me making similar wishes every year. I wish more than anything I had the ability to grant their wishes and yours. Nothing would make me happier than to bring your grandpa back. Unfortunately, not even my magic can do that. But here's something you should know. You have magic within you to keep the people you love alive even after they're gone. Every time you think about your grandpa. Every time you talk about him. Every time you spend time doing something the two of you used to do together...you are keeping his memory alive. I know it's not the same as him being there with you, but his love is always there. That's why this year I wanted to give you an extra gift, a way to spend some time doing something that you and your grandpa used to do together. There's a gift card in here for Chuck e' Cheese. Take your brothers and have fun. Play all the games. Win all the prizes. Buy some ice cream. Think of your grandpa while you do, and know that when you're thinking of him, he's there with you. Love, Santa Clause"
I imagine there are so many kids making similar wishes this year after all the loss these past two years. Covid has taken so much. Christmas might not feel "normal" this year, but it will make the next time we can all be together that much sweeter.
My kiddo is 12. Years ago, he started questioning Santa’s existence, and I wasn’t ready to give up the magic. So both Santa and us parents brought him the exact same book. As I’d hoped, he knew there was no way I would’ve bought the same book twice, so the magic continued.
We actually told him the truth a couple months ago. I was afraid his friends would tell him or, worse, tease him for still believing.
He took the news fairly well. But, every now and then, it’ll hit him that WE made the magic for him - not Santa, not the Easter Bunny, no leprechauns, not the tooth fairy. And most definitely not our stupid Elf, Sprinkles, that he requested we still do this year.
My kids have never really been believers, which everyone said "oh but you're denying them the MAGIC of Christmas." Except when your 3 year old who you suspect is probably on the very high functioning end of the ASD spectrum starts to freak out about "a strange man in my room touching my socks" (socks are a VERY BIG DEAL) and asking scientific questions about time and distance and wanting to know how many children live on the earth you realise it's too elaborate to convince him of something he's going to learn you elaborated..... He has always been a superstar about understanding that you NEVER challenge a believer, not ever, you understand their belief is sacred and you support them in it to the point he used to ask his first teachers at school to speak to them outside when they were doing letters in class because "should I still write to Santa or to my parents because I don't believe in him but the other kids do and it is special to them". He has since the age of five encouraged my other two to believe whatever they want and even spent his own money on Santa presents when there was something he knew they wanted that I didn't know about. Honestly seeing him do that was ALL the "magic" of Christmas, sod the man in red if your empathy-challenged big brother does that. Santa only does the stockings here, and weirdly, uses the same wrapping paper I do..... who knew? My other kids no longer believe, not sure they ever did really since we haven't pushed it, but they have liked the tradition of the visits and the Christmas Eve notes, and tonight we've had "does Santa want milk with his cookies or a cocktail" so I know they know and they know I know they know and that's all fine with me. Santa is enjoying his cocktail thank you very much.
Merry Christmas! I remember your stories about Mazzy last year. (By the way, your stories about Bai got me drinking it, so we now always have a box in the garage.) I was spoiled about Santa by around age 7. This is what happens when you have an older brother who thinks it would be cool to show you where Mom and Dad keep the presents. But we survive this knowledge and we still enjoy Christmas. I don’t know how old I was when my parents found out I knew.
Growing up, Santa didn’t wrap presents in our house. But when I was married and we had our first child, I discovered that Santa wrapped his presents! It was a huge decision on how to do this. I still think my way would have been easier, with no extra wrapping, but we ultimately decided to wrap Santa’s gifts in Santa paper and the stockings would be unwrapped (the stuff inside the stockings). It was actually really nice, from my standpoint, for the kids to be old enough to know the truth. I could wrap gifts and put them out before hand. The kids could get excited about what was under the tree. It’s a major milestone, but it can be viewed as a big kid thing, with different things to be excited about. And, when Harlow does find out, she gets to keep the secret alive for Jack and Neve and I bet she’ll be excited about that!
My kids are all strident believers. I feel like their belief deepens every year. Sometimes I suspect that my oldest (11) is kinda playing along, but then he does something that shows me he still believes. It cracks me up cause I never remember believing, even though my family pushed Santa hard.
We do St Nicolaus day for my kids and don’t overly emphasize Santa, but that doesn’t seem to matter, they love him. I love seeing their eyes light up and I hope it continues for a long time. ❤️
My 8 year old daughter's best friend told her last week that Santa is her parents in front of our 6 year old son as well so that was a double whammy. We talked to both of them about it that same night. My son refused to believe it so not much convincing was needed there. He knows me and my husband are lactose intolerant so there is no way we are Santa because Santa always drinks the milk we leave out for him. 🤣 I think my daughter figured it out but I don't think she is ready to let go of the magic of Santa. So we explained that the world is full of believers and non-believers. Santa IS real for believers but there comes a time when believers need to stop expecting presents for Santa and pass the magic of Santa's gifts to all the new babies and little kids...this is the only way Santa can continue to make it to every house. My daughter agreed and asked if she could still write Santa for one or 2 more years before she passes the torch to the younger kids. We said, she can stop whenever she is ready and when she is ready, she gets to join all of the adult believers is making the holiday season magical for everyone else.
I've used an app on my phone where I can superimpose Santa by our tree. It's definitely bought us time, but I think our youngest (our oldest has a similar story to Mazzy's) seems to have let doubt creep in because I just wasn't on my A game visiting the grandparents this year. I'm hoping another year at home next year can go out with a bigger bang.
My daughter (8) found out last year in a similar way to Mazzy. We "hide" (not very well) the gifts in our bedroom closet because the kids rarely look in there. But she and her friends were playing hide and seek and that is where she hid. She must have looked in the bags as she was hiding and then saw those items in her stocking on Christmas. She didn't say anything until a couple months later and then wrote me a note that said "I don't believe in Santa anymore" and told me about it. I was probably more heartbroken by it than her because she was only 7 and I wasn't ready for her to know the truth yet. I also have a 2yo son so we had the talk about continuing the magic for him and any other kids who still believe. My daughter was so excited to be Santa for her brother this year. She insisted on doing his stocking and helped me and my husband with each other's as well.
My husband and I consciously made the decision to tell our daughter this summer. In the fall she was starting middle school. We sat her down a few weeks before school started and told her that with the beginning of middle school there may become times where she didn’t want to tell us the truth about somethings but that we would need her to be truthful with us and that in order to be truthful with us we would have to be truthful with her. We let her know that there was one thing we had not been very truthful with and then dropped the bomb. There was a bunch of silent tears (worse than loud crying) and she placed a blanket over her head to cry it out but after that she calmed down. We agreed that traditions wouldn’t stop (regretting that the elf continued) and that our love for Santa (and the Easter bunny, and the leprechaun,etc) would still continue in our hearts.
Oh man. We had the same scenario play out at our house with a last minute Santa letter. My youngest is Harlow’s age and has dyslexia, so her long, sweet letter was extra special in that regard as well. She asked for the impossible though. A discontinued Amiibo for the Nintendo switch. She asked Santa if he uses Ebay. She’s like “he is magical so maybe he can do it?” She never let us know about this sooner and the Amiibos, besides the price gouging, wouldn’t arrive until Feb. A few tears were shed Christmas morning. Not because she hated the gift Santa brought. Just her disappointment at Santa’s limitations when she had really hoped and believed he’d pull off a miracle.
My husband loves the magic of Christmas and he goes above and beyond to keep both our 9 year old and our soon to be 11 year old believing. It has become quite an elaborate ruse as they’ve gotten older and we’ve lost a lot of sleep this December waiting for them to fall asleep to move the elves. I think he was up till 2am waiting to put out the Santa gift (not wrapped) this year :s Christmas wasn’t the same after I found out the truth about Santa so I get wanting to keep the magic going but I love Boxing Day when we can just rest.
Side note: I feel like I know the untold story of Mazzy. It all sounded familiar with the garage presents and her being a helper. I love her sympathetic smile to you.
They’re 34 and 35 now, but if memory serves me the first one, my son, was about first grade. He was/is very pragmatic and just decided for himself. We’re Episcopalian thank goodness. If you are Christians, it pays to have believable options to the lessons. lol. Allye, my daughter, a bit more of a romantic tried to believe a little longer. Happy Holidays.
I loved this so much! So so sweet that she’s helping. This feels very Miracle On the-street-number-I’m- now-blanking- on (yet watched the movie while frantically panic wrapping Christmas Eve 🤶!!). ❤️✨
My kids are 11, 8 and 9. This year my 8-year-old pleaded for an elf on the shelf. I figured we waited this long and I won’t have to do it for many more years, so I caved and got the thing…I mean requested one from Santa. I had no idea how interested kids would be with the elf, especially the younger two. My youngest would ask questions and find all the little things that would give it away that it wasn’t real, like the night she didn’t move, but he believes every single reason she gave in her notes about his questions. It’s been interesting for me, because I stopped believing in it all very young. But somehow you still find a way to feel the magic even when you don’t really believe. I still remember riding in a horse drawn sleigh with Santa and Mrs. Claus at five-years-old, even though I knew them both out of costume, and feeling like the most special kid in the world. It gives me solace knowing that ultimately we feel and believe what we want to believe and that the day coming soon when the kids know about Santa will not take away from the celebration of Christmas.
I’ve always had Christmas as a child and for the last 18 years as a mum and Santa gifts are always wrapped. Surly that’s part of the fun unwrapping the gift.
My youngest is 10 and off to high school in September (I’m in the UK) she fully believes but this will probably be the last year and this is making me super sad! My eldest is 18 so next Christmas is going to be very weird not having and believing. Hope you have a lovely Christmas.
Just wanted to say you’re a great writer.
This year my 9 year old wrote a letter to Santa asking him to "make grandpa alive." He died unexpectedly last year (suicide). It broke my heart because my 9 year old was super close with him, but never seemed to really process his death. Santa had to write him a letter explaining why he couldn't bring him back. There were lots of tears from both of us.
"Then there's the last item on your list. I want you to know you're not alone in asking for me to bring back a loved one who has died. Hundred of thousands of kids write to me making similar wishes every year. I wish more than anything I had the ability to grant their wishes and yours. Nothing would make me happier than to bring your grandpa back. Unfortunately, not even my magic can do that. But here's something you should know. You have magic within you to keep the people you love alive even after they're gone. Every time you think about your grandpa. Every time you talk about him. Every time you spend time doing something the two of you used to do together...you are keeping his memory alive. I know it's not the same as him being there with you, but his love is always there. That's why this year I wanted to give you an extra gift, a way to spend some time doing something that you and your grandpa used to do together. There's a gift card in here for Chuck e' Cheese. Take your brothers and have fun. Play all the games. Win all the prizes. Buy some ice cream. Think of your grandpa while you do, and know that when you're thinking of him, he's there with you. Love, Santa Clause"
I imagine there are so many kids making similar wishes this year after all the loss these past two years. Covid has taken so much. Christmas might not feel "normal" this year, but it will make the next time we can all be together that much sweeter.
My kiddo is 12. Years ago, he started questioning Santa’s existence, and I wasn’t ready to give up the magic. So both Santa and us parents brought him the exact same book. As I’d hoped, he knew there was no way I would’ve bought the same book twice, so the magic continued.
We actually told him the truth a couple months ago. I was afraid his friends would tell him or, worse, tease him for still believing.
He took the news fairly well. But, every now and then, it’ll hit him that WE made the magic for him - not Santa, not the Easter Bunny, no leprechauns, not the tooth fairy. And most definitely not our stupid Elf, Sprinkles, that he requested we still do this year.
My kids have never really been believers, which everyone said "oh but you're denying them the MAGIC of Christmas." Except when your 3 year old who you suspect is probably on the very high functioning end of the ASD spectrum starts to freak out about "a strange man in my room touching my socks" (socks are a VERY BIG DEAL) and asking scientific questions about time and distance and wanting to know how many children live on the earth you realise it's too elaborate to convince him of something he's going to learn you elaborated..... He has always been a superstar about understanding that you NEVER challenge a believer, not ever, you understand their belief is sacred and you support them in it to the point he used to ask his first teachers at school to speak to them outside when they were doing letters in class because "should I still write to Santa or to my parents because I don't believe in him but the other kids do and it is special to them". He has since the age of five encouraged my other two to believe whatever they want and even spent his own money on Santa presents when there was something he knew they wanted that I didn't know about. Honestly seeing him do that was ALL the "magic" of Christmas, sod the man in red if your empathy-challenged big brother does that. Santa only does the stockings here, and weirdly, uses the same wrapping paper I do..... who knew? My other kids no longer believe, not sure they ever did really since we haven't pushed it, but they have liked the tradition of the visits and the Christmas Eve notes, and tonight we've had "does Santa want milk with his cookies or a cocktail" so I know they know and they know I know they know and that's all fine with me. Santa is enjoying his cocktail thank you very much.
Merry Christmas! I remember your stories about Mazzy last year. (By the way, your stories about Bai got me drinking it, so we now always have a box in the garage.) I was spoiled about Santa by around age 7. This is what happens when you have an older brother who thinks it would be cool to show you where Mom and Dad keep the presents. But we survive this knowledge and we still enjoy Christmas. I don’t know how old I was when my parents found out I knew.
Growing up, Santa didn’t wrap presents in our house. But when I was married and we had our first child, I discovered that Santa wrapped his presents! It was a huge decision on how to do this. I still think my way would have been easier, with no extra wrapping, but we ultimately decided to wrap Santa’s gifts in Santa paper and the stockings would be unwrapped (the stuff inside the stockings). It was actually really nice, from my standpoint, for the kids to be old enough to know the truth. I could wrap gifts and put them out before hand. The kids could get excited about what was under the tree. It’s a major milestone, but it can be viewed as a big kid thing, with different things to be excited about. And, when Harlow does find out, she gets to keep the secret alive for Jack and Neve and I bet she’ll be excited about that!
My kids are all strident believers. I feel like their belief deepens every year. Sometimes I suspect that my oldest (11) is kinda playing along, but then he does something that shows me he still believes. It cracks me up cause I never remember believing, even though my family pushed Santa hard.
We do St Nicolaus day for my kids and don’t overly emphasize Santa, but that doesn’t seem to matter, they love him. I love seeing their eyes light up and I hope it continues for a long time. ❤️
My 8 year old daughter's best friend told her last week that Santa is her parents in front of our 6 year old son as well so that was a double whammy. We talked to both of them about it that same night. My son refused to believe it so not much convincing was needed there. He knows me and my husband are lactose intolerant so there is no way we are Santa because Santa always drinks the milk we leave out for him. 🤣 I think my daughter figured it out but I don't think she is ready to let go of the magic of Santa. So we explained that the world is full of believers and non-believers. Santa IS real for believers but there comes a time when believers need to stop expecting presents for Santa and pass the magic of Santa's gifts to all the new babies and little kids...this is the only way Santa can continue to make it to every house. My daughter agreed and asked if she could still write Santa for one or 2 more years before she passes the torch to the younger kids. We said, she can stop whenever she is ready and when she is ready, she gets to join all of the adult believers is making the holiday season magical for everyone else.
I've used an app on my phone where I can superimpose Santa by our tree. It's definitely bought us time, but I think our youngest (our oldest has a similar story to Mazzy's) seems to have let doubt creep in because I just wasn't on my A game visiting the grandparents this year. I'm hoping another year at home next year can go out with a bigger bang.
My kid is still on the "amazed but also scared of Santa" phase. He is 4. :)
My daughter (8) found out last year in a similar way to Mazzy. We "hide" (not very well) the gifts in our bedroom closet because the kids rarely look in there. But she and her friends were playing hide and seek and that is where she hid. She must have looked in the bags as she was hiding and then saw those items in her stocking on Christmas. She didn't say anything until a couple months later and then wrote me a note that said "I don't believe in Santa anymore" and told me about it. I was probably more heartbroken by it than her because she was only 7 and I wasn't ready for her to know the truth yet. I also have a 2yo son so we had the talk about continuing the magic for him and any other kids who still believe. My daughter was so excited to be Santa for her brother this year. She insisted on doing his stocking and helped me and my husband with each other's as well.
My husband and I consciously made the decision to tell our daughter this summer. In the fall she was starting middle school. We sat her down a few weeks before school started and told her that with the beginning of middle school there may become times where she didn’t want to tell us the truth about somethings but that we would need her to be truthful with us and that in order to be truthful with us we would have to be truthful with her. We let her know that there was one thing we had not been very truthful with and then dropped the bomb. There was a bunch of silent tears (worse than loud crying) and she placed a blanket over her head to cry it out but after that she calmed down. We agreed that traditions wouldn’t stop (regretting that the elf continued) and that our love for Santa (and the Easter bunny, and the leprechaun,etc) would still continue in our hearts.
Oh man. We had the same scenario play out at our house with a last minute Santa letter. My youngest is Harlow’s age and has dyslexia, so her long, sweet letter was extra special in that regard as well. She asked for the impossible though. A discontinued Amiibo for the Nintendo switch. She asked Santa if he uses Ebay. She’s like “he is magical so maybe he can do it?” She never let us know about this sooner and the Amiibos, besides the price gouging, wouldn’t arrive until Feb. A few tears were shed Christmas morning. Not because she hated the gift Santa brought. Just her disappointment at Santa’s limitations when she had really hoped and believed he’d pull off a miracle.
My husband loves the magic of Christmas and he goes above and beyond to keep both our 9 year old and our soon to be 11 year old believing. It has become quite an elaborate ruse as they’ve gotten older and we’ve lost a lot of sleep this December waiting for them to fall asleep to move the elves. I think he was up till 2am waiting to put out the Santa gift (not wrapped) this year :s Christmas wasn’t the same after I found out the truth about Santa so I get wanting to keep the magic going but I love Boxing Day when we can just rest.
Side note: I feel like I know the untold story of Mazzy. It all sounded familiar with the garage presents and her being a helper. I love her sympathetic smile to you.
They’re 34 and 35 now, but if memory serves me the first one, my son, was about first grade. He was/is very pragmatic and just decided for himself. We’re Episcopalian thank goodness. If you are Christians, it pays to have believable options to the lessons. lol. Allye, my daughter, a bit more of a romantic tried to believe a little longer. Happy Holidays.
I loved this so much! So so sweet that she’s helping. This feels very Miracle On the-street-number-I’m- now-blanking- on (yet watched the movie while frantically panic wrapping Christmas Eve 🤶!!). ❤️✨
My kids are 11, 8 and 9. This year my 8-year-old pleaded for an elf on the shelf. I figured we waited this long and I won’t have to do it for many more years, so I caved and got the thing…I mean requested one from Santa. I had no idea how interested kids would be with the elf, especially the younger two. My youngest would ask questions and find all the little things that would give it away that it wasn’t real, like the night she didn’t move, but he believes every single reason she gave in her notes about his questions. It’s been interesting for me, because I stopped believing in it all very young. But somehow you still find a way to feel the magic even when you don’t really believe. I still remember riding in a horse drawn sleigh with Santa and Mrs. Claus at five-years-old, even though I knew them both out of costume, and feeling like the most special kid in the world. It gives me solace knowing that ultimately we feel and believe what we want to believe and that the day coming soon when the kids know about Santa will not take away from the celebration of Christmas.
I’ve always had Christmas as a child and for the last 18 years as a mum and Santa gifts are always wrapped. Surly that’s part of the fun unwrapping the gift.
My youngest is 10 and off to high school in September (I’m in the UK) she fully believes but this will probably be the last year and this is making me super sad! My eldest is 18 so next Christmas is going to be very weird not having and believing. Hope you have a lovely Christmas.