This looks like a nice picture of everyone about to go kayaking. That’s only half true. It’s also a picture of me running outside to quickly take a picture of everyone going kayaking and then running back inside to hop back on my computer. I heard they had fun.
First - who else is now running to this email, to read it all, every word every time the notification comes up. I feel a little throwback blog obsessed and I"m here for it
Second - this is my existence. Perpetually torn between the work I get paid to do that supports this family of five (and is quite fulfilling and delightful), or the quality time and experiences with them. The FOMO is so bad, while they have movie marathons, nerf gun fights and I click click on the keyboard. I am back to escaping to starbucks, where I can't wait for summer to be over AND ALSO I ONLY HAVE XX SUMMERS LEFT BEFORE THEY ARE GONE AND I MUST MAKE THE MOST OF IT.
Third - I'll be reading this comment to my therapist next week, for sure.
Ah! Your line up top makes me so happy! I truly had no idea how many people hated when I switched my old newsletter so that everyone that to click over to read the full blog post. Back then, it was all about getting the pageviews on the website. So much better this way!
Also, totally get where you are coming from about missing out, seeing the time pass and just not being able to change it.
Talk about old school blog vibes- I just saw the email and was like, I’m going to save that for when I take a coffee break (working from home) and enjoy it. 😆
I am not a mother but I also work for myself and it's very hard to give yourself a break. It seems that every time that you choose to stop, you are losing money and opportunities, so, I understand this part of what you are going through. When you don't have a boss and have to be your own boss, you need to be extra tough, because it's very easy to leave your work and do the stuff around the house (or for the kids)!
Also, I am always happy when I receive notifications, I love your way of writing!
Like other readers, I too love getting the email notification and thinking that I can't wait to steal a moment to myself to read it! I have been back in the office since my daughter went back to school last fall. My boss gave us the option to work remote all summer but we live out in the country (nearest grocery store is 30 minutes away) and there are no other kids so I decided to work 2 days from home and 3 at the office, taking my daughter to day camp in the town I work in. At 11 she now can do a lot of things independently but after me being in my home office for 8 hours she definitely wants attention and sometimes after a taxing day I just want to veg! She doesn't understand how working on the computer and talking on the phone all day is hard. It's not all Minecraft and Youtube! :)
I found myself nodding in agreement while reading this! I feel you! I Am a teacher so technically I have summers off ( which is amazing) but it does not mean that I don’t have work to do. I am taking a class/training to help struggling readers, researching and reading about dyslexia to help my daughter, and planning lessons for a new class I have to teach in the fall. My oldest son is 12 and keeps saying, “mom, it’s summer. Take a break.” I struggle with spending time with my 3 kids ( who all want to do something different) and getting work done. I’m currently sitting at my daughter’s basketball class trying not to think about the time I’m “wasting” by watching her. It’s so hard because if I feel that I wasn’t very productive during the day, then I get cranky and tend to take it out on everyone else that night. If I get work done and the kids spend too much time on their iPads, then I feel guilty. I’m searching for the right balance.
Yes, I have definitely gone to activities expecting to feel one way and then wondering if I made the right choice by the time given up. I think some of us are the kind of people who will feel regret either way.
I work all year round. I work from home. Half my friends either work for the school or are stay at home moms. I feel like I'm the only one working. I cried the other day because I missed an outing at the park where my kids class got together at a park and his teacher even came. I feel misplaced, not important, like nobody misses me or my kid. I watch all these people go on trips and have adventures with their families all while I work. Then I feel guilty because I have a good job and home and shouldn't be jealous or complain. It's a vicious cycle.
We do have a family trip planned to a cabin in Idaho, and we will have lots of fun. It just feels like everyone else is having fun all the time.
Ugh. I get this. I had a lot of work on Harlow's last day of school so I ended up staying home and letting our sitter pick her up. At the time, I didn't think it was the biggest deal but have regretted it every day since. In addition to wishing I shared in the joy of that last moment. and getting to thank her teachers in person, I'm trying hard to be part of that new community since Harlow just switched schools this year and I don't know why I let myself miss it.
I'm sending you all the hugs! I used to feel this way all the time when I worked at the office. And now, I can see how WFH can feel like a special kind of torture sometimes. It's like you're right there, but not. I hear you ❤️❤️❤️
I know exactly how you feel. In my circle of friends, I’m one of two who have “corporate jobs”. The rest are teachers, except for one SAHM. During summers they’re always planning day trips that I can’t always take off for. This is the first summer in years I’ve been home because I’m on maternity leave. I thought we would be doing all sorts of fun things, but this baby is a high-maintenance little dictator and my teenagers want to stay up all night and sleep till after noon… Best laid plans, I guess.
I can definitely relate! My husband and I are currently still working from home. My job involves customer support, so I need to be available for calls and chats for a set timeframe. There is some flexibility, so I'm not tied to the computer, but I still need to be available most of the time. My daughter is often wanting to do projects that require adult help or wants to talk and I just can't give her the attention she wants/needs. I feel bad, but I need to do the job that pays me. Fortunately, our neighborhood is full of kids including two girls my daughter's age, so they spend most of their time playing outside together.
As a freelancing mom, I relate!! The kids finished school and they go to daycamp starting July 5. I "gave" us the week off but yet *I* don't have the week off. / Thank you for sharing the reality behind your photos too. It's easy on IG to think that everyone is having picture perfect vacation days all summer long while I'm at the computer. Solidarity.
It really is something how much we judge our own lives based on someone else's curated images. It's what I do for a living and I still forget how little of the full picture we see on Instagram.
I just made a major job change and don’t start my new job until August 2nd. This is my first summer off with my kids ever. It’s been so nice to not have the work/summertime fun juggle that we normally have.
I have been working at a camp in North Carolina this summer. We have about 10 days left of a 25 day session. I don't have to meal plan, grocery shop or cook. As Camper Care "Camp Mom" I am dealing with kids and teenage counselors re-entering the world after a pandemic. I'm "momming" hard, for over 400 campers/staff! My husband and 16yo son are living the batchelor life at home while my 13yo son is a camper here. Some of the college age staff are my friends' children. It's totally surreal, working at camp again after a 26 year hiatus! So much is the same, but the kids and counselors are different. I didn't think it would be easy, but there are many issues that I had not anticipated. I don't see my son a lot, but a few times he has wanted to tell me something and I was dealing with other kids. He understands, especially when it's a younger kids, but I feel bad shooing him away. I'm here because he has anxiety and I wanted him to experience camp, but with me nearby, just in case.
I work at home all the time (before the pandemic too) but in a remote-based corporate position. So while I have some flexibility in my schedule, the reality is I'm in management now so my calendar is pretty full of meetings. A good number of my kids' school friends have stay-at-home parents so are spending their summers between the pool and beach houses and such, where my kids are going to day camp after the 4th. Because I have to work. We are taking a couple of vacations, once to the beach with friends and another to the beach with my mom, and apparently my dad is taking my kids somewhere in the beginning of August but that one isn't finalized as of yet. But I sure do wish I could win the lottery and be able to jaunt off whenever I wanted for whatever adventures struck my fancy.
This post made me so happy (and stressed!). As a working mom it seems the to do list never goes away! My husband is WFH and managing kids while i work part time. He always says they never act up when they're with me! They bottle up all the fighting/arguing for when I get home! yay me!
I wish I could be off the whole summer with the kids and enjoy all the days with them! At the same time, I enjoy my time away from the kids and my adult time at work. Its such a hard balance and I love that you are prioritizing and making it all happen! Happy Summer Ilana!
I’m trying to built a photography business and even though my kids are older, it’s still hard to get things done and make them realize that what I do is work.
I’ve always worked in an office and have always felt that I would benefit working from home. I’d get to be home with my one and only son and be able to multi task certain things, whereas, I’m at worn and don’t get to do much besides work lol I 100% get jealous of people who work from home. I’d like to try it just once or forever and ever. My son stays with my parents at home and is always bored out of his mind and I’m still trying to work on getting him to summer rec but it’s proving to be quite difficult. Wish me luck!
During the pandemic my husband quit his job to stay home with our two kids while I started a new job at a company I worked at before birthing our second baby, and they offered me a 100% remote role. Even after covid I never have to work in an office! The guest room is now my office and I see my family all day every day as much as I want to. Last week we stayed in my husband's family's tiny condo in Colorado for two weeks while I worked days and hiked evenings and the rest of the family explored the mountains. It is the best!
First - who else is now running to this email, to read it all, every word every time the notification comes up. I feel a little throwback blog obsessed and I"m here for it
Second - this is my existence. Perpetually torn between the work I get paid to do that supports this family of five (and is quite fulfilling and delightful), or the quality time and experiences with them. The FOMO is so bad, while they have movie marathons, nerf gun fights and I click click on the keyboard. I am back to escaping to starbucks, where I can't wait for summer to be over AND ALSO I ONLY HAVE XX SUMMERS LEFT BEFORE THEY ARE GONE AND I MUST MAKE THE MOST OF IT.
Third - I'll be reading this comment to my therapist next week, for sure.
Ah! Your line up top makes me so happy! I truly had no idea how many people hated when I switched my old newsletter so that everyone that to click over to read the full blog post. Back then, it was all about getting the pageviews on the website. So much better this way!
Also, totally get where you are coming from about missing out, seeing the time pass and just not being able to change it.
Talk about old school blog vibes- I just saw the email and was like, I’m going to save that for when I take a coffee break (working from home) and enjoy it. 😆
THIS!!!!
I am not a mother but I also work for myself and it's very hard to give yourself a break. It seems that every time that you choose to stop, you are losing money and opportunities, so, I understand this part of what you are going through. When you don't have a boss and have to be your own boss, you need to be extra tough, because it's very easy to leave your work and do the stuff around the house (or for the kids)!
Also, I am always happy when I receive notifications, I love your way of writing!
Like other readers, I too love getting the email notification and thinking that I can't wait to steal a moment to myself to read it! I have been back in the office since my daughter went back to school last fall. My boss gave us the option to work remote all summer but we live out in the country (nearest grocery store is 30 minutes away) and there are no other kids so I decided to work 2 days from home and 3 at the office, taking my daughter to day camp in the town I work in. At 11 she now can do a lot of things independently but after me being in my home office for 8 hours she definitely wants attention and sometimes after a taxing day I just want to veg! She doesn't understand how working on the computer and talking on the phone all day is hard. It's not all Minecraft and Youtube! :)
I found myself nodding in agreement while reading this! I feel you! I Am a teacher so technically I have summers off ( which is amazing) but it does not mean that I don’t have work to do. I am taking a class/training to help struggling readers, researching and reading about dyslexia to help my daughter, and planning lessons for a new class I have to teach in the fall. My oldest son is 12 and keeps saying, “mom, it’s summer. Take a break.” I struggle with spending time with my 3 kids ( who all want to do something different) and getting work done. I’m currently sitting at my daughter’s basketball class trying not to think about the time I’m “wasting” by watching her. It’s so hard because if I feel that I wasn’t very productive during the day, then I get cranky and tend to take it out on everyone else that night. If I get work done and the kids spend too much time on their iPads, then I feel guilty. I’m searching for the right balance.
Yes, I have definitely gone to activities expecting to feel one way and then wondering if I made the right choice by the time given up. I think some of us are the kind of people who will feel regret either way.
I work all year round. I work from home. Half my friends either work for the school or are stay at home moms. I feel like I'm the only one working. I cried the other day because I missed an outing at the park where my kids class got together at a park and his teacher even came. I feel misplaced, not important, like nobody misses me or my kid. I watch all these people go on trips and have adventures with their families all while I work. Then I feel guilty because I have a good job and home and shouldn't be jealous or complain. It's a vicious cycle.
We do have a family trip planned to a cabin in Idaho, and we will have lots of fun. It just feels like everyone else is having fun all the time.
Ugh. I get this. I had a lot of work on Harlow's last day of school so I ended up staying home and letting our sitter pick her up. At the time, I didn't think it was the biggest deal but have regretted it every day since. In addition to wishing I shared in the joy of that last moment. and getting to thank her teachers in person, I'm trying hard to be part of that new community since Harlow just switched schools this year and I don't know why I let myself miss it.
I'm sending you all the hugs! I used to feel this way all the time when I worked at the office. And now, I can see how WFH can feel like a special kind of torture sometimes. It's like you're right there, but not. I hear you ❤️❤️❤️
I know exactly how you feel. In my circle of friends, I’m one of two who have “corporate jobs”. The rest are teachers, except for one SAHM. During summers they’re always planning day trips that I can’t always take off for. This is the first summer in years I’ve been home because I’m on maternity leave. I thought we would be doing all sorts of fun things, but this baby is a high-maintenance little dictator and my teenagers want to stay up all night and sleep till after noon… Best laid plans, I guess.
I can definitely relate! My husband and I are currently still working from home. My job involves customer support, so I need to be available for calls and chats for a set timeframe. There is some flexibility, so I'm not tied to the computer, but I still need to be available most of the time. My daughter is often wanting to do projects that require adult help or wants to talk and I just can't give her the attention she wants/needs. I feel bad, but I need to do the job that pays me. Fortunately, our neighborhood is full of kids including two girls my daughter's age, so they spend most of their time playing outside together.
Next year put a reminder in March or April to give yourself a day (or week) off during this time!
As a freelancing mom, I relate!! The kids finished school and they go to daycamp starting July 5. I "gave" us the week off but yet *I* don't have the week off. / Thank you for sharing the reality behind your photos too. It's easy on IG to think that everyone is having picture perfect vacation days all summer long while I'm at the computer. Solidarity.
It really is something how much we judge our own lives based on someone else's curated images. It's what I do for a living and I still forget how little of the full picture we see on Instagram.
I just made a major job change and don’t start my new job until August 2nd. This is my first summer off with my kids ever. It’s been so nice to not have the work/summertime fun juggle that we normally have.
I totally get this! I’m a nurse and I’m getting my master’s degree. It’s a crazy life!! I feel like I’m no fun!
I have been working at a camp in North Carolina this summer. We have about 10 days left of a 25 day session. I don't have to meal plan, grocery shop or cook. As Camper Care "Camp Mom" I am dealing with kids and teenage counselors re-entering the world after a pandemic. I'm "momming" hard, for over 400 campers/staff! My husband and 16yo son are living the batchelor life at home while my 13yo son is a camper here. Some of the college age staff are my friends' children. It's totally surreal, working at camp again after a 26 year hiatus! So much is the same, but the kids and counselors are different. I didn't think it would be easy, but there are many issues that I had not anticipated. I don't see my son a lot, but a few times he has wanted to tell me something and I was dealing with other kids. He understands, especially when it's a younger kids, but I feel bad shooing him away. I'm here because he has anxiety and I wanted him to experience camp, but with me nearby, just in case.
I work at home all the time (before the pandemic too) but in a remote-based corporate position. So while I have some flexibility in my schedule, the reality is I'm in management now so my calendar is pretty full of meetings. A good number of my kids' school friends have stay-at-home parents so are spending their summers between the pool and beach houses and such, where my kids are going to day camp after the 4th. Because I have to work. We are taking a couple of vacations, once to the beach with friends and another to the beach with my mom, and apparently my dad is taking my kids somewhere in the beginning of August but that one isn't finalized as of yet. But I sure do wish I could win the lottery and be able to jaunt off whenever I wanted for whatever adventures struck my fancy.
This post made me so happy (and stressed!). As a working mom it seems the to do list never goes away! My husband is WFH and managing kids while i work part time. He always says they never act up when they're with me! They bottle up all the fighting/arguing for when I get home! yay me!
I wish I could be off the whole summer with the kids and enjoy all the days with them! At the same time, I enjoy my time away from the kids and my adult time at work. Its such a hard balance and I love that you are prioritizing and making it all happen! Happy Summer Ilana!
I’m trying to built a photography business and even though my kids are older, it’s still hard to get things done and make them realize that what I do is work.
I’ve always worked in an office and have always felt that I would benefit working from home. I’d get to be home with my one and only son and be able to multi task certain things, whereas, I’m at worn and don’t get to do much besides work lol I 100% get jealous of people who work from home. I’d like to try it just once or forever and ever. My son stays with my parents at home and is always bored out of his mind and I’m still trying to work on getting him to summer rec but it’s proving to be quite difficult. Wish me luck!
During the pandemic my husband quit his job to stay home with our two kids while I started a new job at a company I worked at before birthing our second baby, and they offered me a 100% remote role. Even after covid I never have to work in an office! The guest room is now my office and I see my family all day every day as much as I want to. Last week we stayed in my husband's family's tiny condo in Colorado for two weeks while I worked days and hiked evenings and the rest of the family explored the mountains. It is the best!