I don’t pretend to be an expert on Judaism, even though sometimes I play one on Instagram. It’s only because many of my followers have never met a Jewish person in real life, that I come off as someone with any kind of special knowledge. I was brought up as a reform Jew (which means our interpretation of the Torah has evolved with modern times) who goes to temple on the major Jewish holidays (roughly three times a year) and went to Hebrew school twice a week as a kid, up until I got Bat Mitzvah’ed at age 13, but had no religious instruction after that. My mother often tells me that I am more Jewish online than I am in real life. All that is to say, most of the information in this post came from recent research and not years of religious study. If you are Jewish and any of this post feels wrong to you, please feel free to tell me in the comments.
I'm a Jewish mom who belongs to a conservative synagogue (for those who aren't Jewish, that's the denomination that is more traditional than reform, yet more modern than orthodox -- for example, our synagogue is egalitarian and we have a female Rabbi). It's the "just right" middle ground for our family, and we are fairly active in our local Jewish community. First and foremost -- please don't ever feel like you ever have to explain yourself as more or less Jewish than someone else. We have Jewish friends that are way more observant OR way less observant than we are, and I will say the same thing here that I say to my kids -- Everyone should do what brings meaning to their lives. We are all members of the same tribe, some just participate in different ways than others.
Regarding abortion, I was always taught (from the Jewish perspective) that the mother's life takes precedence over an unborn child, end of story. I'm not sure anyone ever pulled from the literal text to back that up, but I'm glad they did. This actually came up this season on the Netflix series "Shtisel" and I was super impressed with the level of nuance they applied to the situation, as the family in question was an extremely religious, extremely young married couple who were genuinely trying to seek a solution that didn't violate their faith, and the advice from the Rabbi was sensitive and kind and (IMO) correct. It was nice to see considering all the negative media portrayals of Orthodox Jews lately.
Regarding my personal opinion, I do believe that life begins before birth, and I struggle with the idea that at 38 week old fetus (for example) is not living child because it has yet to see the outside world, but my daughter born [healthy] at 36.5 weeks was. I also do know people (including family) who have had late-term losses and what they mourned was not just "water" and some of them chose to name and bury their loss. So I guess it kind of goes back to what I said about Judaism -- people need to look at it in the way that brings them meaning. I totally respect and understand that looking at you losses as failed pregnancies vs. the death of a child helped you mourn and heal and move on.
But the thing is, how we choose to view/define the unborn (which is somewhat arbitrary and impossible to define) shouldn't have anything to do with how we create laws for the women who are already unquestionably living their lives in this country.
And that is why, despite my feeling that life begins earlier in the pregnancy process than others, I am as pro-choice as you are. We never know the difficult and tragic circumstances that people are dealing with. Abortions re always going to be necessary for a wide variety of reasons, some I probably can't even imagine due to my privileged experiences. There's a phrase in one of the Jewish prayers that comes up a lot that says (paraphrasing) "We are not brought into this world to hate. We are brought into this world to praise, to labor, and to love". These laws are not written out of love for babies, they're written out of judgement and disdain for women in impossible situations. Instead of pulling hate and judgement from their religion, they should try pulling a little love and compassion.
I’ve been pregnant 3 times. I thank God everyday that I ended the first with an abortion. I was in an abusive relationship and it would’ve tied me to him for life. My second ended with my daughter being stillborn. And my third is my two and a half year old. I’ve dealt with a full spectrum of pregnancy outcomes and I can tell you that I couldn’t imagine someone forcing me to continue any of them. The physical, mental and spiritual anguish it can cause is wild.
I am born and raised Catholic. I am raising my 2 children in the church. I love (most) of the values of the Catholic Church and the community that comes with it. But I take a hard stand when it comes to others telling women what they can do with their bodies or telling people who they can love. I make all the choices in my life and don’t think it’s acceptable for others to make those choices for me.
I would love to see fewer abortions! Which is why I support free access to birth control, comprehensive sex ed, support for babies after they are born, universal healthcare to cover unfathomable medical costs during and after pregnancy, prosecuting men for rape, and affordable child care. If people were really pro-life, they would care about all of those things.
This, along with your original Pro-Choice post, honestly has helped me so much. I am a Christian. I am also a registered Republican. I am fiscally conservative and socially liberal. *In general*, I tend to believe that the more local the government, the better equipped the policy to fit the community needs. I do believe that babies in utero are lives to be celebrated. I believe that babies in utero are not at fault for how they came to be. My aunt is a product of rape and I'm so thankful that my grandmother brought her into this world. I *pray* that women who face HORRIBLE circumstances are able to find an alternative to abortion.
All of that said, I cannot get behind a person in a capitol or a town hall making any decision of this magnitude for another person. I cannot get behind a person who had money spent on supporting their election to power and who makes money in that position of power choosing what any woman gets to do with her body. To me, it's as simple as that.
I grew up in a very much Pro-Life upbringing. I have good friends, who are good people and who do their best to support people in need, that are staunchly Pro-Life. Recently, I mentioned that I now consider myself to be Pro-Choice and they were shocked. Not in a judging or mean way, but they definitely had questions about my stance. I simply stated that I cannot allow a young girl who has been molested for years to be punished because she can't face giving birth to her molester's child. I stated that there are too many shades of gray that we, thankfully, haven't been faced with to put our faith to the test.
A lot of Pro-Lifers tend to have been taught that it's as simple as believing that life is too important to end. They have been taught that murder is wrong and abortion is murder, period. However, most ones that I have come into contact with will give way on the "exceptions." When I bring up various scenarios, they will say, "Well, I could see needing to do it then."
It's posts like this and your original Pro-Choice post that allow for people to change their minds. As angry as people are (and have a right to be), I wish that more could come from it from this angle. Very few people have had their minds changed (on any topic) by being yelled at.
Thank you for this. It is so simple, straight-forward, reasonable, and level-headed. I am not Jewish but boy am I a fan of the Jewish faith!
I am pro-choice, but in the last 48 hours I keep feeling like I want to redefine that concept and describe myself as pro-life: pro-WOMEN’s lives. The living, breathing, contributing members of society. We are invisible to the anti-abortionists. I am so sad and losing sleep over this too.
Thank you for sharing this perspective. As a woman that was raised in the Christian church and has since walked away from it, this interpretation really resonates with me. In my opinion, there is so much wrong with the Christian faith, and the lack of value for women is at the top of the list. These times are hard, and as a mother of two girls I’m angry that we have to continue to live under the thumb of the patriarchy. We’ll just have to continue to fight.
As a currently pregnant woman, the definition really resonates with me. My son does not feel like an independent being; he's part of my body and will remain a part of my body until he's born. Thank you for sharing, it doesn't change my stance (because I've been pro-choice since I argued with boys on the playground that they couldn't decide anything about me), but it strengthens my beliefs and maybe even gives me a more elegant of an argument.
I mourned my miscarriage as “the promise of a baby” I was only 8 weeks so even though in my heart it was my baby, logically I know it was just the idea of what could have been because scientifically it wasn’t a baby. I’m pro choice because I am a mother, this is hard even when you choose it, I can’t imagine doing it by force
Thank you for posting your perspective based on your religion. I’m pro choice and not religious and my opinion from others always points back to me because of my lack of faith. I’m glad to read a different perspective on this!
Thank you for this. I had heard that most Jews were pro-choice but didn’t know the reasoning behind it. I actually pushed back at a guy (friend of a friend sort of thing on FB) who tried to argue that oh well, we live in a country with 200+ years of basing laws on Judeo-Christian values, as if that excuses this. He’s even more wrong than I initially pushed back on.
There are so many reasons to allow abortion and this adds one more. The one I use when people talk about “killing” babies is bodily autonomy. It is perfectly legal to not donate any of my body to anybody, even if it’s a simple procedure such as giving blood, and even if it is to save my living breathing child’s life. Blood, liver, kidney, skin graft, bone marrow, even organs after I die. But I still don’t understand why the uterus is exempted from this when that is not written into any laws about bodily autonomy. When people talk about understanding the need in cases of rape or incest or threat to mother/baby’s life, but hating the “convenience” abortions (yes, someone used that word), I point out 2 things. 1. We have no business grilling women over why they are getting one, possibly having to relive trauma, therefore it needs to be allowed to all. And 2. The way to prevent “convenient” abortions is to prevent unwanted pregnancies through comprehensive sex education, universal healthcare, affordable/free birth control, affordable day care, etc. And the same people criminalizing abortion refuse to consider these things even though they are the only proven methods of reducing abortions.
I agree with you. Because so many are using religion as the reason to outlaw abortion, it may take this argument to reverse this.
I’m Orthodox Jewish, and this explanation is spot on. It has definitely informed how I announced my pregnancies, and how I considered certain situations while pregnant. It has also allowed me to critically think on my thoughts about abortion, and to be staunchly pro-choice. As a Jew, I feel like there is no other option.
As someone that was raised Catholic and chose to walk away from the Church when I was able to make that decision, I have been a firm believer in pro-choice. A woman should be able to make that decision about her body - there are so many stories of young teenagers, even children birthing a baby……you’ve given a beautifully written account. I’ve met many Jews through my line of work (healthcare) and they have always appeared the most kind and compassionate people I’ve ever met.
Many things about Jewish faith makes so much more sense to me than the Christianity I was raised with. I count myself lucky to have married into a Jewish family. The SCOTUS draft opinion is so disheartening as I think about the futures and wellbeing of my nieces and daughter.
Thank you for this! I have been sick to my stomach about this leaked SCOTUS decision. I’m scared for my 5 daughters as well. Truly at a loss for more words and just heartbroken over this.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. I am a Christian, but am a member of a very liberal church body, Presbyterian Church (USA). PCUSA is known for its liberal stance of ordaining women and members of the LGBT community as elders and ministers in the church and its liberal stance on church doctrine. I am absolutely Pro-choice! I don't like the general idea of abortion but I believe every woman has the right to decide for themselves what is best. I know without a doubt if one of my daughters had become pregnant in high school or college an abortion would have definitely been on the table for consideration. I know multiple people who have had an abortion for various reasons ranging from being in an abusive marriage to teen pregnancy to a late term abortion due to severe birth defects detected in the fetus. All of these women made the decision that was best for them at that particular time in their lives and none of them made the decision easily. I'm devastated to think the right to a legal, safe abortion (because there will still be abortions) might be taken away.
I'm a Jewish mom who belongs to a conservative synagogue (for those who aren't Jewish, that's the denomination that is more traditional than reform, yet more modern than orthodox -- for example, our synagogue is egalitarian and we have a female Rabbi). It's the "just right" middle ground for our family, and we are fairly active in our local Jewish community. First and foremost -- please don't ever feel like you ever have to explain yourself as more or less Jewish than someone else. We have Jewish friends that are way more observant OR way less observant than we are, and I will say the same thing here that I say to my kids -- Everyone should do what brings meaning to their lives. We are all members of the same tribe, some just participate in different ways than others.
Regarding abortion, I was always taught (from the Jewish perspective) that the mother's life takes precedence over an unborn child, end of story. I'm not sure anyone ever pulled from the literal text to back that up, but I'm glad they did. This actually came up this season on the Netflix series "Shtisel" and I was super impressed with the level of nuance they applied to the situation, as the family in question was an extremely religious, extremely young married couple who were genuinely trying to seek a solution that didn't violate their faith, and the advice from the Rabbi was sensitive and kind and (IMO) correct. It was nice to see considering all the negative media portrayals of Orthodox Jews lately.
Regarding my personal opinion, I do believe that life begins before birth, and I struggle with the idea that at 38 week old fetus (for example) is not living child because it has yet to see the outside world, but my daughter born [healthy] at 36.5 weeks was. I also do know people (including family) who have had late-term losses and what they mourned was not just "water" and some of them chose to name and bury their loss. So I guess it kind of goes back to what I said about Judaism -- people need to look at it in the way that brings them meaning. I totally respect and understand that looking at you losses as failed pregnancies vs. the death of a child helped you mourn and heal and move on.
But the thing is, how we choose to view/define the unborn (which is somewhat arbitrary and impossible to define) shouldn't have anything to do with how we create laws for the women who are already unquestionably living their lives in this country.
And that is why, despite my feeling that life begins earlier in the pregnancy process than others, I am as pro-choice as you are. We never know the difficult and tragic circumstances that people are dealing with. Abortions re always going to be necessary for a wide variety of reasons, some I probably can't even imagine due to my privileged experiences. There's a phrase in one of the Jewish prayers that comes up a lot that says (paraphrasing) "We are not brought into this world to hate. We are brought into this world to praise, to labor, and to love". These laws are not written out of love for babies, they're written out of judgement and disdain for women in impossible situations. Instead of pulling hate and judgement from their religion, they should try pulling a little love and compassion.
I’ve been pregnant 3 times. I thank God everyday that I ended the first with an abortion. I was in an abusive relationship and it would’ve tied me to him for life. My second ended with my daughter being stillborn. And my third is my two and a half year old. I’ve dealt with a full spectrum of pregnancy outcomes and I can tell you that I couldn’t imagine someone forcing me to continue any of them. The physical, mental and spiritual anguish it can cause is wild.
I am born and raised Catholic. I am raising my 2 children in the church. I love (most) of the values of the Catholic Church and the community that comes with it. But I take a hard stand when it comes to others telling women what they can do with their bodies or telling people who they can love. I make all the choices in my life and don’t think it’s acceptable for others to make those choices for me.
I would love to see fewer abortions! Which is why I support free access to birth control, comprehensive sex ed, support for babies after they are born, universal healthcare to cover unfathomable medical costs during and after pregnancy, prosecuting men for rape, and affordable child care. If people were really pro-life, they would care about all of those things.
This, along with your original Pro-Choice post, honestly has helped me so much. I am a Christian. I am also a registered Republican. I am fiscally conservative and socially liberal. *In general*, I tend to believe that the more local the government, the better equipped the policy to fit the community needs. I do believe that babies in utero are lives to be celebrated. I believe that babies in utero are not at fault for how they came to be. My aunt is a product of rape and I'm so thankful that my grandmother brought her into this world. I *pray* that women who face HORRIBLE circumstances are able to find an alternative to abortion.
All of that said, I cannot get behind a person in a capitol or a town hall making any decision of this magnitude for another person. I cannot get behind a person who had money spent on supporting their election to power and who makes money in that position of power choosing what any woman gets to do with her body. To me, it's as simple as that.
I grew up in a very much Pro-Life upbringing. I have good friends, who are good people and who do their best to support people in need, that are staunchly Pro-Life. Recently, I mentioned that I now consider myself to be Pro-Choice and they were shocked. Not in a judging or mean way, but they definitely had questions about my stance. I simply stated that I cannot allow a young girl who has been molested for years to be punished because she can't face giving birth to her molester's child. I stated that there are too many shades of gray that we, thankfully, haven't been faced with to put our faith to the test.
A lot of Pro-Lifers tend to have been taught that it's as simple as believing that life is too important to end. They have been taught that murder is wrong and abortion is murder, period. However, most ones that I have come into contact with will give way on the "exceptions." When I bring up various scenarios, they will say, "Well, I could see needing to do it then."
It's posts like this and your original Pro-Choice post that allow for people to change their minds. As angry as people are (and have a right to be), I wish that more could come from it from this angle. Very few people have had their minds changed (on any topic) by being yelled at.
Thank you for this. It is so simple, straight-forward, reasonable, and level-headed. I am not Jewish but boy am I a fan of the Jewish faith!
I am pro-choice, but in the last 48 hours I keep feeling like I want to redefine that concept and describe myself as pro-life: pro-WOMEN’s lives. The living, breathing, contributing members of society. We are invisible to the anti-abortionists. I am so sad and losing sleep over this too.
Thank you for sharing this perspective. As a woman that was raised in the Christian church and has since walked away from it, this interpretation really resonates with me. In my opinion, there is so much wrong with the Christian faith, and the lack of value for women is at the top of the list. These times are hard, and as a mother of two girls I’m angry that we have to continue to live under the thumb of the patriarchy. We’ll just have to continue to fight.
As a currently pregnant woman, the definition really resonates with me. My son does not feel like an independent being; he's part of my body and will remain a part of my body until he's born. Thank you for sharing, it doesn't change my stance (because I've been pro-choice since I argued with boys on the playground that they couldn't decide anything about me), but it strengthens my beliefs and maybe even gives me a more elegant of an argument.
I mourned my miscarriage as “the promise of a baby” I was only 8 weeks so even though in my heart it was my baby, logically I know it was just the idea of what could have been because scientifically it wasn’t a baby. I’m pro choice because I am a mother, this is hard even when you choose it, I can’t imagine doing it by force
Thank you for posting your perspective based on your religion. I’m pro choice and not religious and my opinion from others always points back to me because of my lack of faith. I’m glad to read a different perspective on this!
Thank you for this. I had heard that most Jews were pro-choice but didn’t know the reasoning behind it. I actually pushed back at a guy (friend of a friend sort of thing on FB) who tried to argue that oh well, we live in a country with 200+ years of basing laws on Judeo-Christian values, as if that excuses this. He’s even more wrong than I initially pushed back on.
There are so many reasons to allow abortion and this adds one more. The one I use when people talk about “killing” babies is bodily autonomy. It is perfectly legal to not donate any of my body to anybody, even if it’s a simple procedure such as giving blood, and even if it is to save my living breathing child’s life. Blood, liver, kidney, skin graft, bone marrow, even organs after I die. But I still don’t understand why the uterus is exempted from this when that is not written into any laws about bodily autonomy. When people talk about understanding the need in cases of rape or incest or threat to mother/baby’s life, but hating the “convenience” abortions (yes, someone used that word), I point out 2 things. 1. We have no business grilling women over why they are getting one, possibly having to relive trauma, therefore it needs to be allowed to all. And 2. The way to prevent “convenient” abortions is to prevent unwanted pregnancies through comprehensive sex education, universal healthcare, affordable/free birth control, affordable day care, etc. And the same people criminalizing abortion refuse to consider these things even though they are the only proven methods of reducing abortions.
I agree with you. Because so many are using religion as the reason to outlaw abortion, it may take this argument to reverse this.
I’m Orthodox Jewish, and this explanation is spot on. It has definitely informed how I announced my pregnancies, and how I considered certain situations while pregnant. It has also allowed me to critically think on my thoughts about abortion, and to be staunchly pro-choice. As a Jew, I feel like there is no other option.
As someone that was raised Catholic and chose to walk away from the Church when I was able to make that decision, I have been a firm believer in pro-choice. A woman should be able to make that decision about her body - there are so many stories of young teenagers, even children birthing a baby……you’ve given a beautifully written account. I’ve met many Jews through my line of work (healthcare) and they have always appeared the most kind and compassionate people I’ve ever met.
Many things about Jewish faith makes so much more sense to me than the Christianity I was raised with. I count myself lucky to have married into a Jewish family. The SCOTUS draft opinion is so disheartening as I think about the futures and wellbeing of my nieces and daughter.
Thank you for this! I have been sick to my stomach about this leaked SCOTUS decision. I’m scared for my 5 daughters as well. Truly at a loss for more words and just heartbroken over this.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. I am a Christian, but am a member of a very liberal church body, Presbyterian Church (USA). PCUSA is known for its liberal stance of ordaining women and members of the LGBT community as elders and ministers in the church and its liberal stance on church doctrine. I am absolutely Pro-choice! I don't like the general idea of abortion but I believe every woman has the right to decide for themselves what is best. I know without a doubt if one of my daughters had become pregnant in high school or college an abortion would have definitely been on the table for consideration. I know multiple people who have had an abortion for various reasons ranging from being in an abusive marriage to teen pregnancy to a late term abortion due to severe birth defects detected in the fetus. All of these women made the decision that was best for them at that particular time in their lives and none of them made the decision easily. I'm devastated to think the right to a legal, safe abortion (because there will still be abortions) might be taken away.