I don’t pretend to be an expert on Judaism, even though sometimes I play one on Instagram. It’s only because many of my followers have never met a Jewish person in real life, that I come off as someone with any kind of special knowledge. I was brought up as a reform Jew (which means our interpretation of the Torah has evolved with modern times) who goes to temple on the major Jewish holidays (roughly three times a year) and went to Hebrew school twice a week as a kid, up until I got Bat Mitzvah’ed at age 13, but had no religious instruction after that. My mother often tells me that I am more Jewish online than I am in real life. All that is to say, most of the information in this post came from recent research and not years of religious study. If you are Jewish and any of this post feels wrong to you, please feel free to tell me in the comments.
I should also be clear that I didn’t realize my position on abortion had anything to do with my Jewish faith until a few years ago. I have always believed that it is every woman’s right to decide what to do with her own body. I have always believed that a fetus is not yet a person. I have always believed that a pro-choice stance encompasses a wide range of views, which includes women who would not personally get an abortion but also do not presume to know the circumstances that drive someone else to make that decision. And lastly, I believe that the reason many people fight against the right to choose has little to do with saving babies and more to do with keeping a patriarchal structure of power. Otherwise why wouldn’t those same people be fighting for free daycare, maternal healthcare, a living wage and resources for single moms?
Yes, I get that there are many women who are also anti-abortion. But I think for most of them, this is because the right to choose conflicts with their beliefs in Christianity. Their interpretation of the Bible tells them that a baby is born at conception.
Well, in case you aren’t aware, Christianity isn’t the only religion with a position on when the unborn becomes a life. Judaism has thoughts on this too. According to our beliefs, life begins at the first breath of oxygen.
From the National Council of Jewish Women (NCJW):
“Sources in the Talmud note that the fetus is ‘mere water’ before 40 days of gestation. Following this period, the fetus is considered a physical part of the pregnant individual’s body, not yet having life of its own or independent rights. The fetus is not viewed as separate from the parent’s body until birth begins and the first breath of oxygen into the lungs allows the soul to enter the body.”
Even though I wasn’t aware of the ‘mere water’ wording until recently, the sentiment does play out in Jewish customs of which I am very familiar. For instance, it is customary for Jewish women to keep their pregnancy a secret until the second trimester, due to the high rate of miscarriages and complications in the first trimester. It is also considered bad luck to decorate a nursery or hold a baby shower for someone who does not yet exist. This is also why many Jewish parents don’t share the name of their baby until after they are born.
Before Mazzy was born, we cleared the room out and painted, but we had absolutely no baby items in our home. Some of the more major items and essentials, we had delivered to my mom’s house and then while I was in the hospital giving birth, she brought everything over. The first time I saw the crib set up in the nursery was when I brought Mazzy home in my arms. Gifts were sent to our apartment after we sent out Mazzy’s birth announcement and then when she was six months, we had a Jewish ceremony called “a baby naming,” where Mazzy was officially given her Hebrew name. Nava Vred which translates to “lovely rose.”
I’m not sure how much of these traditions informed my thoughts on being pro-choice, but I do know that they helped when I had two miscarriages, one before Mazzy and one before Harlow. In both instances, I mourned the failed pregnancy, which was heartbreaking enough, but never once thought I lost a baby. I also did not question getting a D&C as the doctor suggested. It was the alternative to waiting for the miscarriage to pass on its own, which having done that the first time, I knew to be incredibly sad and painful. I wanted it over, so I could start the process of healing. There was no given name, no baby clothes to return and no empty crib to stare at when we got home. We just waited until we were ready and tried again. Granted, these miscarriages were fairly early on, and I don’t pretend to know what it would feel like to lose a pregnancy at a later stage. But I can appreciate now that my Jewish values helped me see my miscarriages not as loss of life, but as part of my journey to becoming a mother to both Mazzy and Harlow.
I also now understand how these values come with a larger Jewish philosophy on women’s rights. Namely, that the life of a pregnant woman is of more value than the fetus inside her. Many Jewish scholars point to The Torah, Exodus 21:22-23, to prove that the ending of a pregnancy is not equivalent to murder. The passage tells a story of two men who are fighting and in the process, injure a pregnant woman, which results in a miscarriage. The text goes on to explain that the punishment for this misdeed is a fine. However, if the man had seriously injured the pregnant woman, the penalty would be “a life for a life.” According to the NCJW, the common rabbinical interpretation of this verse is that ending the life of a pregnant woman is homicide, whereas ending a pregnancy is not.
According to Jewish law, the primary concern should always be the well-being of the living person. “Abortion is required should the pregnancy endanger the life or health of the pregnant individual.” Rabbis have different interpretations of what this law means, many interpreting the word ‘health’ to encompass both physical and psychological health. One could also make the argument that ‘life’ could mean a life or death situation or refer to quality of life, meaning that women are free to make the decisions they feel is best for their own minds and bodies.
Rabbi Rachel Pass argues that that abortions are permissible for both need or want:
“What does it mean that the life of the pregnant person comes before that of the fetus? Over the centuries, various rabbinic authorities have offered their answers. It means that her physical needs and pain levels are prioritized over the birthing of the child (Rabbis Josef Trani and Jacob Emden). It means that her mental health is prioritized over the birthing of the child (Rabbi Mordecai Winkler). It means that her dignity and her honor are prioritized over the birthing of the child (Rabbi Ben-Zion Ouziel). It means that the primary consideration in the Jewish question of abortion is the needs of the person giving birth, their life, their health and their dignity.”
She goes on to say, “There is nothing more sacred than the right to live one’s life as one chooses — and to choose life, and to choose blessing. In having an abortion, I chose my life.”
Yesterday, a leaked document from the Supreme Court contained a draft of of a majority opinion written by Justice Alito that would strike down Roe v. Wade. I think most of my readers agree that this would be an attack on women’s rights. But for many Jewish women, this is taking aim at our 1st amendment rights as well.
You know, the one that separates church from state.
Which is why some are suggesting that the first way to challenge a ruling overturning Roe v. Wade is with a Jewish woman arguing it’s against her religion to put the health of the unborn above her own life.
Whether you are Jewish or not, I know the leaked news brought many of us a lot of fear and anger. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.
If anyone is still questioning whether they are pro-choice or not, I urge you to read a post I wrote previously called “What it Means to Be Pro-Choice” explaining the wide stance of this position.
And finally, much love to you all. It’s a scary time and for anyone feeling like our country is broken, I see you and I’m losing sleep over it too.
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I'm a Jewish mom who belongs to a conservative synagogue (for those who aren't Jewish, that's the denomination that is more traditional than reform, yet more modern than orthodox -- for example, our synagogue is egalitarian and we have a female Rabbi). It's the "just right" middle ground for our family, and we are fairly active in our local Jewish community. First and foremost -- please don't ever feel like you ever have to explain yourself as more or less Jewish than someone else. We have Jewish friends that are way more observant OR way less observant than we are, and I will say the same thing here that I say to my kids -- Everyone should do what brings meaning to their lives. We are all members of the same tribe, some just participate in different ways than others.
Regarding abortion, I was always taught (from the Jewish perspective) that the mother's life takes precedence over an unborn child, end of story. I'm not sure anyone ever pulled from the literal text to back that up, but I'm glad they did. This actually came up this season on the Netflix series "Shtisel" and I was super impressed with the level of nuance they applied to the situation, as the family in question was an extremely religious, extremely young married couple who were genuinely trying to seek a solution that didn't violate their faith, and the advice from the Rabbi was sensitive and kind and (IMO) correct. It was nice to see considering all the negative media portrayals of Orthodox Jews lately.
Regarding my personal opinion, I do believe that life begins before birth, and I struggle with the idea that at 38 week old fetus (for example) is not living child because it has yet to see the outside world, but my daughter born [healthy] at 36.5 weeks was. I also do know people (including family) who have had late-term losses and what they mourned was not just "water" and some of them chose to name and bury their loss. So I guess it kind of goes back to what I said about Judaism -- people need to look at it in the way that brings them meaning. I totally respect and understand that looking at you losses as failed pregnancies vs. the death of a child helped you mourn and heal and move on.
But the thing is, how we choose to view/define the unborn (which is somewhat arbitrary and impossible to define) shouldn't have anything to do with how we create laws for the women who are already unquestionably living their lives in this country.
And that is why, despite my feeling that life begins earlier in the pregnancy process than others, I am as pro-choice as you are. We never know the difficult and tragic circumstances that people are dealing with. Abortions re always going to be necessary for a wide variety of reasons, some I probably can't even imagine due to my privileged experiences. There's a phrase in one of the Jewish prayers that comes up a lot that says (paraphrasing) "We are not brought into this world to hate. We are brought into this world to praise, to labor, and to love". These laws are not written out of love for babies, they're written out of judgement and disdain for women in impossible situations. Instead of pulling hate and judgement from their religion, they should try pulling a little love and compassion.
I’ve been pregnant 3 times. I thank God everyday that I ended the first with an abortion. I was in an abusive relationship and it would’ve tied me to him for life. My second ended with my daughter being stillborn. And my third is my two and a half year old. I’ve dealt with a full spectrum of pregnancy outcomes and I can tell you that I couldn’t imagine someone forcing me to continue any of them. The physical, mental and spiritual anguish it can cause is wild.