This post was written in 2020 and has been modified slightly to acknowledge the overturning of Roe v Wade. You can also read my reaction to this week’s ruling and my perspective on abortion as a Jewish woman. I am republishing this article because I think women are more powerful when we are united and more of us are on the same page than we’ve been led to believe.
I’ve written this before, possibly when this post appeared on Insta. But times like these, when it seems so so so bleak, I wrap myself in my privilege to protect my sanity. I am past childbearing years. I live in a state where, even though it was deep red at the time, abortion was legalized in 1990. And I doubt the makeup of the state legislature would change enough to be able to change that law.
But I do have 2 adult children. My daughter is 22 and heading to med school. Pregnancy and med school do not mix. No matter how much she wants to eventually have a family, it cannot happen while she’s in school. And my son is recently 18. They are facing their adulthood in a country where if they move to another state, they might have rights stripped from them. I include my son in this because this does impact men, as well, in many ways.
I would say that this made me a “1 issue voter” except the GOP has trampled on so many rights recently that I have many many issues to chose from!
Really well written, Ilana. I am sharing a link to a podcast where 2 women share their abortion experience- why and what they went through. I think hearing stories from real people who have been through the experience can help us view it for what it is rather than what it is advertised to be.
Really important piece Ilana. I wish it could be seen by everyone. We truly are more united by common sense and compassion than divided by politics, but those facts can’t be exploited by politicians to gain more money and power so we’re sold another narrative. There is so much power in our connection to other women, if we could all only see that and lean into it.
also to add: i know there's a public outcry about women suddenly aborting later on, which fuels the whole "i'm pro-choice until x weeks", but i shared these two stories that were from girls who found out about the pregnancy later on which would make it impossible for them to have the procedures. please everyone take this into account, it's not always feasible to terminate earlier and that's why it needs to be private and unconditional
Brazilian here to tell you that just this week, an 11yo was forced by the judge to keep her pregnancy after being sexually abused (https://theintercept.com/2022/06/23/abortion-brazil-pregnant-minor-roe/). she was eventually able to get the procedure, but like, the judge called it a homicide and asked her of she couldn't "just get through with it".
then, a young actress (a white, rich young woman) fell pregnant from a sexual abuse. she suffered medical pressure to keep the pregnancy. then, she went through the legal process to put the baby for adoption, which technically should be a secret. an obgyn nurse leaked the story to a gossip columnist, who basically published an article accusing her of child abandonment.
this is what it's like to live here. If you end a pregnancy, you are a monster. if you don't, you are a monster who puts the baby for adoption. there's no way to win until and unless abortion is a fully protected right with privacy and no questions asked.
I can’t agree more with pro-choice being a spectrum. I’ve faced the choice 3x in my life with 3 different outcomes. I hate the way late term abortions have been demonized. I hate the way the pro-life people push their bullshit propaganda about it being used for birth control or being something brutally/in humanely executed. I challenge anyone that’s pro-life to spend a day at a clinic and talk to real women about why they’re there. Listen to their stories. Their sadness. Their frustrations.
And I challenge these politicians that are so anti- medical privacy and a women controlling her own body to put forth legislation that improves healthcare, improves contraceptive access, improves reproductive health education, improves services to the young women who are forced to become mothers before they have the legal ability to make many decisions about their own lives let alone a child’s.
I sent this article to my mom who is a cradle Catholic and very much identifies as pro life. I hope that even if I can’t change her mind she’ll have an easier time understanding my point of view. And maybe (hopefully) she will understand that pro-choice is not a dirty word and is not the same as pro-abortion
I identify as pro-choice and have for a long time, but have always been a bit uncomfortable with the idea of abortion. The more I hear stories about why people have had abortions and think through it, the more confident and strong I become in my pro-choice feelings though.
I do think sex should be taken seriously and it frustrates me when people don't. People should take responsibility for birth control before they have intercourse. I know it's not always that simple of course (there can be rape, power imbalances etc or lack of education) and birth control can fail, but people do sometimes make some foolish decisions and rush into things. Removing/significantly reducing access to safe and legal abortions won't stop people making foolish decisions though and there needs to be compassion. No one plans/wants to be in a position where they need an abortion.
I think abortions should be minimised through things like access to good birth control (I'm a fan of copper IUDs in particular) and sex education and programs that support people to get into a better place financially.
I am a Democrat, but I am against abortion. The reason I say I am pro life is because unlike some Republicans, I don't pick and choose who I feel gets to live or die. I am also against hunting and the death penalty. Can all Republicans say the same thing? Or anyone else in general? But yes, I am also pro choice. I am not going to tell anyone what to do with their bodies. But don't call yourself pro life if you are okay with people being executed or animals being hunted down just for the fun of it.
I’ve written this before, possibly when this post appeared on Insta. But times like these, when it seems so so so bleak, I wrap myself in my privilege to protect my sanity. I am past childbearing years. I live in a state where, even though it was deep red at the time, abortion was legalized in 1990. And I doubt the makeup of the state legislature would change enough to be able to change that law.
But I do have 2 adult children. My daughter is 22 and heading to med school. Pregnancy and med school do not mix. No matter how much she wants to eventually have a family, it cannot happen while she’s in school. And my son is recently 18. They are facing their adulthood in a country where if they move to another state, they might have rights stripped from them. I include my son in this because this does impact men, as well, in many ways.
I would say that this made me a “1 issue voter” except the GOP has trampled on so many rights recently that I have many many issues to chose from!
Really well written, Ilana. I am sharing a link to a podcast where 2 women share their abortion experience- why and what they went through. I think hearing stories from real people who have been through the experience can help us view it for what it is rather than what it is advertised to be.
https://themoth.org/podcast/bodily-autonomy
Really important piece Ilana. I wish it could be seen by everyone. We truly are more united by common sense and compassion than divided by politics, but those facts can’t be exploited by politicians to gain more money and power so we’re sold another narrative. There is so much power in our connection to other women, if we could all only see that and lean into it.
also to add: i know there's a public outcry about women suddenly aborting later on, which fuels the whole "i'm pro-choice until x weeks", but i shared these two stories that were from girls who found out about the pregnancy later on which would make it impossible for them to have the procedures. please everyone take this into account, it's not always feasible to terminate earlier and that's why it needs to be private and unconditional
Brazilian here to tell you that just this week, an 11yo was forced by the judge to keep her pregnancy after being sexually abused (https://theintercept.com/2022/06/23/abortion-brazil-pregnant-minor-roe/). she was eventually able to get the procedure, but like, the judge called it a homicide and asked her of she couldn't "just get through with it".
then, a young actress (a white, rich young woman) fell pregnant from a sexual abuse. she suffered medical pressure to keep the pregnancy. then, she went through the legal process to put the baby for adoption, which technically should be a secret. an obgyn nurse leaked the story to a gossip columnist, who basically published an article accusing her of child abandonment.
this is what it's like to live here. If you end a pregnancy, you are a monster. if you don't, you are a monster who puts the baby for adoption. there's no way to win until and unless abortion is a fully protected right with privacy and no questions asked.
I can’t agree more with pro-choice being a spectrum. I’ve faced the choice 3x in my life with 3 different outcomes. I hate the way late term abortions have been demonized. I hate the way the pro-life people push their bullshit propaganda about it being used for birth control or being something brutally/in humanely executed. I challenge anyone that’s pro-life to spend a day at a clinic and talk to real women about why they’re there. Listen to their stories. Their sadness. Their frustrations.
And I challenge these politicians that are so anti- medical privacy and a women controlling her own body to put forth legislation that improves healthcare, improves contraceptive access, improves reproductive health education, improves services to the young women who are forced to become mothers before they have the legal ability to make many decisions about their own lives let alone a child’s.
I sent this article to my mom who is a cradle Catholic and very much identifies as pro life. I hope that even if I can’t change her mind she’ll have an easier time understanding my point of view. And maybe (hopefully) she will understand that pro-choice is not a dirty word and is not the same as pro-abortion
I identify as pro-choice and have for a long time, but have always been a bit uncomfortable with the idea of abortion. The more I hear stories about why people have had abortions and think through it, the more confident and strong I become in my pro-choice feelings though.
I do think sex should be taken seriously and it frustrates me when people don't. People should take responsibility for birth control before they have intercourse. I know it's not always that simple of course (there can be rape, power imbalances etc or lack of education) and birth control can fail, but people do sometimes make some foolish decisions and rush into things. Removing/significantly reducing access to safe and legal abortions won't stop people making foolish decisions though and there needs to be compassion. No one plans/wants to be in a position where they need an abortion.
I think abortions should be minimised through things like access to good birth control (I'm a fan of copper IUDs in particular) and sex education and programs that support people to get into a better place financially.
I am a Democrat, but I am against abortion. The reason I say I am pro life is because unlike some Republicans, I don't pick and choose who I feel gets to live or die. I am also against hunting and the death penalty. Can all Republicans say the same thing? Or anyone else in general? But yes, I am also pro choice. I am not going to tell anyone what to do with their bodies. But don't call yourself pro life if you are okay with people being executed or animals being hunted down just for the fun of it.