I have a lump in my throat that won’t go away. I’m trying to get both my kids ready for camp and give them a good family day before they leave this weekend and I can’t focus. The lump is there distracting me. I’m currently locked in my room trying to organize my thoughts. My anger. “I just need a moment!!!” I found myself yelling like a crazy person through the door. As if “a moment” would solve something.
Jun 24, 2022·edited Jun 24, 2022Liked by Ilana Wiles
I'm hopping on my little soapbox here! I am so incredibly grateful to live in NYC right now, but my home and first love is Tennessee. Those of you in blue states, let us all mobilize for those who will inevitably need abortions in the Deep South and abortion deserts around the country. There are so many people in red states and the Deep South who are tirelessly working for change and for those of us lucky enough to live in states unaffected by this ruling right now, our job is to help them in whatever way we can -- financially, or physically, or even just raising awareness. Not that I've seen anyone do this, but we cannot write off the South as a backwoods place beyond our help! This decision will disproportionally affect young, working, BIPOC without a support system, because as we all know, banning abortions only really bans SAFE abortions. Local abortion funds are a great way to channel financial support into places that really need it, as are research and donations into local government campaigns. State senate, governor, judges -- these are now the people making these decisions. Pick a state with trigger laws, and dive into information about their local elections! Donate to these candidates, and hope this leads to a better world for our children.
I have always been pro life. And by that I mean all lives. I'm against hunting, abortion and the death penalty. I don't pick and choose. With that being said, my motto has always been, "Not my body. Not my business." I hate that slowly we are regressing as a country. We are heading back to the 1950's. It really angers me that this happened. We need to take this anger and protest and vote. What freedoms will we lose next?
I want to comfort you and the millions of women in the USA who right now feel abandoned and unsupported by the very government whose job it is to protect, support, encourage and provide the kind of society where everyone is safe and everyone can grow and flourish.
I, like many women, do not see abortion as a choice for me, but I see that abortions have always existed, exist and will always exist. So let them be safe and legal. Let there be available and reliable birth control. Let there be policies to support and encourage families(paid parental leave, family allowances till the age 18, accessible and affordable post-secondary education, affordable daycare etc etc)… those are pro-life policies that work all over the world.
In Canada abortions are a medical procedure covered by our universal healthcare and it is not mentioned specifically in any laws. Just like any other surgery is not specifically mentioned. Our system isn’t perfect but it works pretty well.
Let’s learn from other countries that treat women and children with care and respect, where families are supported and thrive, not perfectly, but pretty well.
I have two girls that are 10 and 12. When I told my husband this morning that it was overturned my 12 year old questioned me. I am VERY open about sex with both of them and I explained that our right to "not have a baby if you don't want to have a baby" was just taken away (I know that it is up to states now.....but I live in the south.)
I told her the same thing that you told Mazzy...if you need help, I will help. We will form our own tribe!!!!!
I have always been pro-choice, even though I didn't feel like I would ever personally make the choice to have an abortion. I knew that the only one who should make that choice was the woman herself. I never expected to have my stance tested, but let me tell you that when my 16 year old straight A student daughter came in one evening in tears to tell me that she was pregnant and did not want to have the baby, the time came for me to defend my daughter's right to choose in the same manner that I had vocally supported all of those theoretical women for many years. Was it easy? No. I wanted more than anything to hug her and tell her that we could manage this together and that I would help her with raising the baby. However, I knew she made the choice she felt was right for her and her body. She was early enough that she was able to use the pills, but in our state, she was required to have a transvaginal ultrasound before they could prescribe the pills. The chants and shouts from the people who stood on the sidewalk surrounding the doctors office were horrible. I couldn't believe that at a time when she was so vulnerable and fragile, that we had to endure that nastiness, and even though the staff at the office allowed me to drive around to the back door so that we could leave quickly, they still shouted as we drove away. A time that was already difficult for her became something that left her feeling ashamed instead of empowered. The judgement coming from the pro-life demonstrators was palpable. They caused her to feel so much shame, and I know that shame hasn't left her. I know that those who oppose abortion would say the shame came from knowing she violated the life of her unborn baby, but the fact is that the shame came from the way those who should have been loving her treated her like a monster. They didn't know her circumstances. They didn't know what was best for her. They didn't know how much the trauma she experienced that day still lingers in her 10 years later. She doesn't feel confident in her worth, she has sought that sense of confidence in so many destructive ways, and she is the one who lives with the memory of the way she was treated by those who claim to "love." As hard as all that was, I know she did what was best for her, and she was ultimately the only one who could make that decision. It wasn't my decision to make, or my place to judge. It was my place to support her, show her love, and stand up for her rights.
my friends and I are going to buy Plan B for our daughters and any of their friends who may need it. while we still can. Just in case.
I'm scared for what this decision means for those who are going through IVF, or surrogacy, right now as well as same sex and interracial marriage. I'm terrified this is just the beginning.
“ None of these men care about babies. They care about money and power.” that’s all it boils down to. Nothing more complicated than this, no gray area. Money and power.
Where do I even begin? Many years ago, at the start of my social work carrier, I worked here in chicago at planned parenthood as a counselor, an ultrasound technician and an assistant to our incredible doctors performing abortions. I met thousands of women who needed healthcare. That’s what abortion is, it is part of women’s healthcare. I heard all of their stories about their lives and the lives of their already existing children that would be undeniably altered for the worse should they be forced to carry their pregnancy. I often feel like if all those awful white privileged men I congress and the Supreme Court could spend a few days in clinic, they would get it too. Maybe? Probably not though because as Ilana so articulately pointed out, this is about money and power for the most powerful. Yes I am sad for my daughter but because she is like Mazzy who has a mom who would always support her and who has the resources to help her or her friends, I am not worried about her. It is the low income, young teen, women of color, with no support and no resources who pay the price here. This is a dark day indeed. The Friday right after the 2016 election, I was listening to my regular radio news show where many journalists chime in and I remember one saying “Roe will be overturned as a result of Trump’s election.” I remember sobbing at hearing that and thinking it couldn’t possibly be true. Sadly, it was and now is our reality.
I am numb. I live in PA. One person stands in protection of our rights, Governor Tom Wolf. His term is ending and the November election critical. Please help elect Josh Shapiro for Governor. The GOP candidate Doug Mastriano has pledged a complete ban on abortion if elected. And not to mention he helped spread the big lie and was at the capital on Jan 6th and wants to arm teachers.
this is why i insist we need to be pro choice always, with no caveats. i am from a place where ending a pregnancy is legal but only if it poses a life threat to the woman. this week, a girl got pregnant by sexual abuse (she is 11) and the judge didn't allow her to terminate it. when abortion is legal only if [insert specific scenario here] it actually isn't legal. because you bet people are gonna do everything in their power to keep it from happening. i, as a cis white woman at 28, cannot choose what to do with my body (and i have the means to contraception). this girl didn't and now she's being forced to serve as an incubator for the moral far right. it's terrifying to live like this and feel the reality of one single cell being able to literally kill you due to unsafe conditions and backdoor abortions. so take care, friends, but also never forget the fact that it's all abortions we're fighting for.
Today is hard. I have lived in TN for the past 5yrs, after living in DC/LA/NYC, and days like today are HARD. But in reality it would feel just as heavy if I still lived in any of those cities. The world feels heavy, but we have to keep holding it up and make it as light as possible for our kids. I hope Mazzy is right, and they won’t need the help I’m always willing to give.
For as long as I live in Oregon, and then after we move to Delaware - if you need somewhere to go, reach out to me, and I will be your person. This is complete and utter bullshit, and I've got you.
I live outside the US, and from the outside looking in I'm speechless to what is happening. I rarely say that I'm happy I live in Latin America, but today I am. I have so many rights as a woman, including my right to choose over my own body, universal healthcare, free university education among other things....I now realize I have taken them for granted, and have always been to busy complaining about other things. Well no more, today I'm grateful to have what I have and I mourn, rage and cry for American women (of who I have many good friends who are devastated today). Today you mourn, tomorrow you fight! For your girls, your daughters, your nieces, friends, neighbors and we will fight with you!
As a pro choice, atheist registered Republican who leans more central, I am absolutely disgusted, sickened, appalled that this is what has happened. I FIRMLY believe in pro choice and I’ll be damned if anyone, let alone any MAN “in power” tells me what to do with my body. #FuckSCOTUS
I'm hopping on my little soapbox here! I am so incredibly grateful to live in NYC right now, but my home and first love is Tennessee. Those of you in blue states, let us all mobilize for those who will inevitably need abortions in the Deep South and abortion deserts around the country. There are so many people in red states and the Deep South who are tirelessly working for change and for those of us lucky enough to live in states unaffected by this ruling right now, our job is to help them in whatever way we can -- financially, or physically, or even just raising awareness. Not that I've seen anyone do this, but we cannot write off the South as a backwoods place beyond our help! This decision will disproportionally affect young, working, BIPOC without a support system, because as we all know, banning abortions only really bans SAFE abortions. Local abortion funds are a great way to channel financial support into places that really need it, as are research and donations into local government campaigns. State senate, governor, judges -- these are now the people making these decisions. Pick a state with trigger laws, and dive into information about their local elections! Donate to these candidates, and hope this leads to a better world for our children.
I live in NYC. If ever anyone in this community needs a room and help to visit my state, my door is OPEN.
This gave me chills: "No. We were lucid and clear. We knew." We certainly did.
I have always been pro life. And by that I mean all lives. I'm against hunting, abortion and the death penalty. I don't pick and choose. With that being said, my motto has always been, "Not my body. Not my business." I hate that slowly we are regressing as a country. We are heading back to the 1950's. It really angers me that this happened. We need to take this anger and protest and vote. What freedoms will we lose next?
I want to comfort you and the millions of women in the USA who right now feel abandoned and unsupported by the very government whose job it is to protect, support, encourage and provide the kind of society where everyone is safe and everyone can grow and flourish.
I, like many women, do not see abortion as a choice for me, but I see that abortions have always existed, exist and will always exist. So let them be safe and legal. Let there be available and reliable birth control. Let there be policies to support and encourage families(paid parental leave, family allowances till the age 18, accessible and affordable post-secondary education, affordable daycare etc etc)… those are pro-life policies that work all over the world.
In Canada abortions are a medical procedure covered by our universal healthcare and it is not mentioned specifically in any laws. Just like any other surgery is not specifically mentioned. Our system isn’t perfect but it works pretty well.
Let’s learn from other countries that treat women and children with care and respect, where families are supported and thrive, not perfectly, but pretty well.
I have two girls that are 10 and 12. When I told my husband this morning that it was overturned my 12 year old questioned me. I am VERY open about sex with both of them and I explained that our right to "not have a baby if you don't want to have a baby" was just taken away (I know that it is up to states now.....but I live in the south.)
I told her the same thing that you told Mazzy...if you need help, I will help. We will form our own tribe!!!!!
I have always been pro-choice, even though I didn't feel like I would ever personally make the choice to have an abortion. I knew that the only one who should make that choice was the woman herself. I never expected to have my stance tested, but let me tell you that when my 16 year old straight A student daughter came in one evening in tears to tell me that she was pregnant and did not want to have the baby, the time came for me to defend my daughter's right to choose in the same manner that I had vocally supported all of those theoretical women for many years. Was it easy? No. I wanted more than anything to hug her and tell her that we could manage this together and that I would help her with raising the baby. However, I knew she made the choice she felt was right for her and her body. She was early enough that she was able to use the pills, but in our state, she was required to have a transvaginal ultrasound before they could prescribe the pills. The chants and shouts from the people who stood on the sidewalk surrounding the doctors office were horrible. I couldn't believe that at a time when she was so vulnerable and fragile, that we had to endure that nastiness, and even though the staff at the office allowed me to drive around to the back door so that we could leave quickly, they still shouted as we drove away. A time that was already difficult for her became something that left her feeling ashamed instead of empowered. The judgement coming from the pro-life demonstrators was palpable. They caused her to feel so much shame, and I know that shame hasn't left her. I know that those who oppose abortion would say the shame came from knowing she violated the life of her unborn baby, but the fact is that the shame came from the way those who should have been loving her treated her like a monster. They didn't know her circumstances. They didn't know what was best for her. They didn't know how much the trauma she experienced that day still lingers in her 10 years later. She doesn't feel confident in her worth, she has sought that sense of confidence in so many destructive ways, and she is the one who lives with the memory of the way she was treated by those who claim to "love." As hard as all that was, I know she did what was best for her, and she was ultimately the only one who could make that decision. It wasn't my decision to make, or my place to judge. It was my place to support her, show her love, and stand up for her rights.
I am so angry. So angry.
my friends and I are going to buy Plan B for our daughters and any of their friends who may need it. while we still can. Just in case.
I'm scared for what this decision means for those who are going through IVF, or surrogacy, right now as well as same sex and interracial marriage. I'm terrified this is just the beginning.
“ None of these men care about babies. They care about money and power.” that’s all it boils down to. Nothing more complicated than this, no gray area. Money and power.
Where do I even begin? Many years ago, at the start of my social work carrier, I worked here in chicago at planned parenthood as a counselor, an ultrasound technician and an assistant to our incredible doctors performing abortions. I met thousands of women who needed healthcare. That’s what abortion is, it is part of women’s healthcare. I heard all of their stories about their lives and the lives of their already existing children that would be undeniably altered for the worse should they be forced to carry their pregnancy. I often feel like if all those awful white privileged men I congress and the Supreme Court could spend a few days in clinic, they would get it too. Maybe? Probably not though because as Ilana so articulately pointed out, this is about money and power for the most powerful. Yes I am sad for my daughter but because she is like Mazzy who has a mom who would always support her and who has the resources to help her or her friends, I am not worried about her. It is the low income, young teen, women of color, with no support and no resources who pay the price here. This is a dark day indeed. The Friday right after the 2016 election, I was listening to my regular radio news show where many journalists chime in and I remember one saying “Roe will be overturned as a result of Trump’s election.” I remember sobbing at hearing that and thinking it couldn’t possibly be true. Sadly, it was and now is our reality.
I am numb. I live in PA. One person stands in protection of our rights, Governor Tom Wolf. His term is ending and the November election critical. Please help elect Josh Shapiro for Governor. The GOP candidate Doug Mastriano has pledged a complete ban on abortion if elected. And not to mention he helped spread the big lie and was at the capital on Jan 6th and wants to arm teachers.
this is why i insist we need to be pro choice always, with no caveats. i am from a place where ending a pregnancy is legal but only if it poses a life threat to the woman. this week, a girl got pregnant by sexual abuse (she is 11) and the judge didn't allow her to terminate it. when abortion is legal only if [insert specific scenario here] it actually isn't legal. because you bet people are gonna do everything in their power to keep it from happening. i, as a cis white woman at 28, cannot choose what to do with my body (and i have the means to contraception). this girl didn't and now she's being forced to serve as an incubator for the moral far right. it's terrifying to live like this and feel the reality of one single cell being able to literally kill you due to unsafe conditions and backdoor abortions. so take care, friends, but also never forget the fact that it's all abortions we're fighting for.
Today is hard. I have lived in TN for the past 5yrs, after living in DC/LA/NYC, and days like today are HARD. But in reality it would feel just as heavy if I still lived in any of those cities. The world feels heavy, but we have to keep holding it up and make it as light as possible for our kids. I hope Mazzy is right, and they won’t need the help I’m always willing to give.
For as long as I live in Oregon, and then after we move to Delaware - if you need somewhere to go, reach out to me, and I will be your person. This is complete and utter bullshit, and I've got you.
I live outside the US, and from the outside looking in I'm speechless to what is happening. I rarely say that I'm happy I live in Latin America, but today I am. I have so many rights as a woman, including my right to choose over my own body, universal healthcare, free university education among other things....I now realize I have taken them for granted, and have always been to busy complaining about other things. Well no more, today I'm grateful to have what I have and I mourn, rage and cry for American women (of who I have many good friends who are devastated today). Today you mourn, tomorrow you fight! For your girls, your daughters, your nieces, friends, neighbors and we will fight with you!
As a pro choice, atheist registered Republican who leans more central, I am absolutely disgusted, sickened, appalled that this is what has happened. I FIRMLY believe in pro choice and I’ll be damned if anyone, let alone any MAN “in power” tells me what to do with my body. #FuckSCOTUS