Back in September, Mazzy’s school announced that they were starting up their after school sports program again. There would be two options for the fall— soccer and volleyball. Mazzy’s interest in most after school activities has waned over the last few years (the pandemic didn’t help), so Mike and I really wanted her to do a sport. She’s never been part of a team before and it took the pandemic to make us realize that was a real missed opportunity.
I hate that there’s such a push to get kids invested in their interests as kids, whether it’s sports or whatever. When you’re little, you should have all the time in the world to try all of the things. You can start settling for one or two in time when you’re older.
I hate it too! Especially since Harlow really still wants to diversify and make sure she has time for rest and playdates. It's all very reasonable, but yet means that she is not advancing to any of the invitational or team stuff.
My daughter is 7 and I cannot afford classes or anything right now. Hoping to be able to next year but I fear she’ll feel behind everyone else, esp since she’s already 4.5ft tall so the kids her size are already older and more likely to have a few years under their belt. It’s such a weird feeling stressing out about my kid being behind in a class or something when I didn’t even take anything as a kid.
My 7 yo daughter picked up a basketball at a school during the July school holidays last year. In our area people go to local schools to use their playground or sports equipment when they’re closed. She picked up this ball and threw it at the hoop for the first time. And got it in. And got did it again. And again. And then she snuck into the gym and dribbled down the court and threw it in the hoop again. I was so surprised. I was always against after school activities, especially sports. But I remembered this scenario in October when the school released what after school sports were available and she was begging me to do any of them. “What about basketball?”, I said, wondering if I was going to regret how our life would be impacted. I have never enjoyed watching sports and I thought I’d dread having to attend games. Turns out it’s the best thing ever watching her play, she’s onto her third season (now she’s 9) and I look forward to the games at the highlight of every week. I even stay and watch every training session, though hardly any parents do. Playing basketball in a team has made her more resilient, more confident, more responsible, she’s made different friends than her bookworm ones (it’s a mixed team, so mostly the new friends are boys) and strengthened connections throughout the school. She even signed up to play soccer despite being the only girl and never having played before in a team of enthusiasts who already play in other teams. I look on in awe at her confidence.
I waited until my kids expressed interest in a sport to sign them up for it, which around here, was like 5 years too late to "be competitive". My oldest now plays rec league hockey, where all the practices and games are at the same rink 15 minutes from our house. He loves it, I love that I'm not traipsing all over the state with a travel team. Last fall, parents were not allowed in the rink, but the league had a camera set up and put the games on a private YouTube channel, so we could watch that way. My youngest is doing learn to play this year at 8, we will see if he becomes a hockey player also. He's spent the last 2 years (minus the spring 2020 season) on a local soccer team, and could be good but I don't think he still loves it the way he did, so decided to try hockey like his brother.
I played every sport offered in my small town, because my dad probably should have been a high school coach and not an IT guy. I'm not particularly sporty - I didn't really enjoy any of them (I liked the team spirit part!), but I did make it to JV basketball before I decided my time would be better dedicated to band. I guess it skipped a generation.
I tried out for volleyball in middle school. Did not make the team. Discovered competitive swimming at 13 (having grown up in a backyard pool) after the ‘84 Olympics and found my sport. Fast forward to my kids. We actually tried gymnastics, soccer, and t-ball, but the sport that stuck for them, too, was swimming.
My daughter started at 9. My son started at 7. While it made them more competitive, it was also much more consuming! It defined every aspect of our lives for 10 years. But if a kid is physically fit, is dedicated and/or shows a natural aptitude, they can start later in many sports and still excel (with whatever definition “excel” would mean). We had 3 girls from Las Vegas make the Olympic swimming team this summer. One of the girls didn’t even start swimming until she was 11 or 12, she swam in the qualifying round of the Olympic relays, and is now an Olympic Silver Medalist as a junior in high school. That’s not to promise that every girl will make the Olympics. But it shows that you never know. Ultimately, if Mazzy loves it, she’ll work on skills at home and get better, closing the learning curve she might have right now. And it puts her in a good place, learning it now, to be involved in high school.
One word of caution: Keep an eye on toxicity. The more competitive the group/sport, the more toxic the atmosphere can get. And don’t let yourself fall into it! I doubt you would, but man, one stupid sports mom making a comment that gets your pubescent daughter upset can throw everything out the window! Seriously, it’s not that hard to turn a simple gathering into Dance Moms!
I played basketball in middle school and high school simply because I attended a small school and anyone who wanted to play could be on the team. Of course, I was a benchwarmer that only made it into a real game for the last 60 seconds if we were winning by more than 20 points! I love being part of the team though, and we (well they) were a great team. My daughters never played team sports but always took dance and gymnastics like Harlow. Both cheered in high school and were lucky enough to make their college dance team. My son played baseball and soccer from the age of 4 through high school. In high school he was the only sophomore starter on a state championship soccer team. He was also on a state championship baseball team his senior year. Playing team sports builds character. He was a defensive star in soccer but in baseball he was used more as a sub. Soccer gave him the limelight but baseball humbled him. Experiencing both made him a better person.
I was a shy kid but at age 8 I decided to join the kickball team. And then I joined the basketball, softball and volleyball teams. I sucked at volleyball. But I was amazing at basketball and softball. Do you know what being part of a sports team did for me? It opened up an entire other world for me. I made friends that I probably wouldn't have been friends with if it weren't for sports. They got to know the real me. I wasn't as shy any longer. I found my voice. I encourage parents to see if they can get their child interested in an activity. It doesn't have to be sports. It can be a club, dance, acting or whatever. For me, it was life changing.
Yes, Yes, Yes! Eyerolling, cutting off your story to tell you it's boring, telling me she's heard it a million times...all are VERY strong in our home right now. Keeping my mouth shut is the hardest part for me. Hearing that other moms do it too helps me and I can remind myself in desperate times that I am not the only one this is happening to. I know this is a volleyball story and a team involvement story, and a girl empowerment story but my biggest takeaway was that I am not the only one with an 11yo that with fluctuating hormones. :) Hope that is not TMI!
Great story! So glad she found her thing (for now). My stepkids are in a school district where sports are taken very seriously and you pretty much have to have been playing since age 4 to get on a team. So they have opted out entirely from sports teams. Thankfully my daughter's district is not like that as much, so hopefully she can try things out more.
awww this is great! this gives me hope for my kids who aren't very sporty. We do weekly swim lessons and a few summers in a row my son did baseball then it got too 'serious' for him and he didn't want to join again. I hate how competitive it can get as such a young age. I'm still hoping as my kids get older maybe they find something that will interest them even if they aren't particularly 'good' at it!
I did volleyball in high school and track for the other seasons. I loved track because everyone was welcome. It was better for the team to have more people competing, no matter how they did. I actually used to do shot put because you needed two girls to compete and we only had one. The one girl was state champion though and at each meet, they averaged the two people's scores to determine the medals. I have so many third place shot put medals!!!! When I actually was the worst one competing by far. My teammate was just THAT GOOD!
I tried volleyball in 7th grade. I was petite and had zero confidence. Oh, and I just started a new school with a terrible haircut. I think I went through a week or two of practice and one game. I wasn't good and was so embarrassed that I quit.
Now, I have a 10 year old daughter who is already 5'2" and I would LOVE it if she took up volleyball. She did a short volleyball clinic over the summer and liked it but wasn't hooked. I'm hoping she'll give it another try.
I HATE how you have to get kids super invested in a sport at a young age. My 2nd grader had a tiny bit of experience with soccer and t-ball before COVID. Unlike others in our community, we opted not to do group sports during COVID so now he's "behind" because he doesn't really know how to play a sport. I guess there is still hope for my kindergartener. Ugh.
Great story of you reliving those glory days 😂 And I feel you on older kids finding sports late. My sixth grader is trying basketball right now (I encouraged her since this was the last year for no cuts and with the pandemic many kids haven’t played in two years) but I often get the sinking feeling like it’s too late for her for so many things and it shouldn’t be! Maybe volleyball will be next for her to try thanks to this story.
Love this story! My kids have done dance for years and tried a few other sports and activities. My daughter seems to really have a passion for dance. My son played baseball for the first time last spring and this fall (when he was in 4th then 5th grade) and he was definitely 4-5 years behind most of the other kids! He did well and enjoyed it, but we could tell there were a lot of times the learning curve frustrated him quite a bit.
I loved reading this! What a great thing for you and Mazzy to share even if she insists it doesn’t have anything to do with you - ha! Kids are funny. My kids are both competitive gymnasts and it’s so stressful as a parent to watch them. I was never a gymnast so they’re doing things I never could do and I just love watching them compete. Even if they quit tomorrow, it’s been a few years and they’re so strong and confident because of the sport. I hope they would carry that forward.
I hate that there’s such a push to get kids invested in their interests as kids, whether it’s sports or whatever. When you’re little, you should have all the time in the world to try all of the things. You can start settling for one or two in time when you’re older.
I hate it too! Especially since Harlow really still wants to diversify and make sure she has time for rest and playdates. It's all very reasonable, but yet means that she is not advancing to any of the invitational or team stuff.
My daughter is 7 and I cannot afford classes or anything right now. Hoping to be able to next year but I fear she’ll feel behind everyone else, esp since she’s already 4.5ft tall so the kids her size are already older and more likely to have a few years under their belt. It’s such a weird feeling stressing out about my kid being behind in a class or something when I didn’t even take anything as a kid.
My 7 yo daughter picked up a basketball at a school during the July school holidays last year. In our area people go to local schools to use their playground or sports equipment when they’re closed. She picked up this ball and threw it at the hoop for the first time. And got it in. And got did it again. And again. And then she snuck into the gym and dribbled down the court and threw it in the hoop again. I was so surprised. I was always against after school activities, especially sports. But I remembered this scenario in October when the school released what after school sports were available and she was begging me to do any of them. “What about basketball?”, I said, wondering if I was going to regret how our life would be impacted. I have never enjoyed watching sports and I thought I’d dread having to attend games. Turns out it’s the best thing ever watching her play, she’s onto her third season (now she’s 9) and I look forward to the games at the highlight of every week. I even stay and watch every training session, though hardly any parents do. Playing basketball in a team has made her more resilient, more confident, more responsible, she’s made different friends than her bookworm ones (it’s a mixed team, so mostly the new friends are boys) and strengthened connections throughout the school. She even signed up to play soccer despite being the only girl and never having played before in a team of enthusiasts who already play in other teams. I look on in awe at her confidence.
I waited until my kids expressed interest in a sport to sign them up for it, which around here, was like 5 years too late to "be competitive". My oldest now plays rec league hockey, where all the practices and games are at the same rink 15 minutes from our house. He loves it, I love that I'm not traipsing all over the state with a travel team. Last fall, parents were not allowed in the rink, but the league had a camera set up and put the games on a private YouTube channel, so we could watch that way. My youngest is doing learn to play this year at 8, we will see if he becomes a hockey player also. He's spent the last 2 years (minus the spring 2020 season) on a local soccer team, and could be good but I don't think he still loves it the way he did, so decided to try hockey like his brother.
I played every sport offered in my small town, because my dad probably should have been a high school coach and not an IT guy. I'm not particularly sporty - I didn't really enjoy any of them (I liked the team spirit part!), but I did make it to JV basketball before I decided my time would be better dedicated to band. I guess it skipped a generation.
I tried out for volleyball in middle school. Did not make the team. Discovered competitive swimming at 13 (having grown up in a backyard pool) after the ‘84 Olympics and found my sport. Fast forward to my kids. We actually tried gymnastics, soccer, and t-ball, but the sport that stuck for them, too, was swimming.
My daughter started at 9. My son started at 7. While it made them more competitive, it was also much more consuming! It defined every aspect of our lives for 10 years. But if a kid is physically fit, is dedicated and/or shows a natural aptitude, they can start later in many sports and still excel (with whatever definition “excel” would mean). We had 3 girls from Las Vegas make the Olympic swimming team this summer. One of the girls didn’t even start swimming until she was 11 or 12, she swam in the qualifying round of the Olympic relays, and is now an Olympic Silver Medalist as a junior in high school. That’s not to promise that every girl will make the Olympics. But it shows that you never know. Ultimately, if Mazzy loves it, she’ll work on skills at home and get better, closing the learning curve she might have right now. And it puts her in a good place, learning it now, to be involved in high school.
One word of caution: Keep an eye on toxicity. The more competitive the group/sport, the more toxic the atmosphere can get. And don’t let yourself fall into it! I doubt you would, but man, one stupid sports mom making a comment that gets your pubescent daughter upset can throw everything out the window! Seriously, it’s not that hard to turn a simple gathering into Dance Moms!
I played basketball in middle school and high school simply because I attended a small school and anyone who wanted to play could be on the team. Of course, I was a benchwarmer that only made it into a real game for the last 60 seconds if we were winning by more than 20 points! I love being part of the team though, and we (well they) were a great team. My daughters never played team sports but always took dance and gymnastics like Harlow. Both cheered in high school and were lucky enough to make their college dance team. My son played baseball and soccer from the age of 4 through high school. In high school he was the only sophomore starter on a state championship soccer team. He was also on a state championship baseball team his senior year. Playing team sports builds character. He was a defensive star in soccer but in baseball he was used more as a sub. Soccer gave him the limelight but baseball humbled him. Experiencing both made him a better person.
I was a shy kid but at age 8 I decided to join the kickball team. And then I joined the basketball, softball and volleyball teams. I sucked at volleyball. But I was amazing at basketball and softball. Do you know what being part of a sports team did for me? It opened up an entire other world for me. I made friends that I probably wouldn't have been friends with if it weren't for sports. They got to know the real me. I wasn't as shy any longer. I found my voice. I encourage parents to see if they can get their child interested in an activity. It doesn't have to be sports. It can be a club, dance, acting or whatever. For me, it was life changing.
Yes, Yes, Yes! Eyerolling, cutting off your story to tell you it's boring, telling me she's heard it a million times...all are VERY strong in our home right now. Keeping my mouth shut is the hardest part for me. Hearing that other moms do it too helps me and I can remind myself in desperate times that I am not the only one this is happening to. I know this is a volleyball story and a team involvement story, and a girl empowerment story but my biggest takeaway was that I am not the only one with an 11yo that with fluctuating hormones. :) Hope that is not TMI!
Great story! So glad she found her thing (for now). My stepkids are in a school district where sports are taken very seriously and you pretty much have to have been playing since age 4 to get on a team. So they have opted out entirely from sports teams. Thankfully my daughter's district is not like that as much, so hopefully she can try things out more.
So glad for Mazzy, thank you for sharing. My 15 year had absolutely no interest and is such an introvert but I’m find with that.
Bravo and yes. Great story.
awww this is great! this gives me hope for my kids who aren't very sporty. We do weekly swim lessons and a few summers in a row my son did baseball then it got too 'serious' for him and he didn't want to join again. I hate how competitive it can get as such a young age. I'm still hoping as my kids get older maybe they find something that will interest them even if they aren't particularly 'good' at it!
I did volleyball in high school and track for the other seasons. I loved track because everyone was welcome. It was better for the team to have more people competing, no matter how they did. I actually used to do shot put because you needed two girls to compete and we only had one. The one girl was state champion though and at each meet, they averaged the two people's scores to determine the medals. I have so many third place shot put medals!!!! When I actually was the worst one competing by far. My teammate was just THAT GOOD!
I tried volleyball in 7th grade. I was petite and had zero confidence. Oh, and I just started a new school with a terrible haircut. I think I went through a week or two of practice and one game. I wasn't good and was so embarrassed that I quit.
Now, I have a 10 year old daughter who is already 5'2" and I would LOVE it if she took up volleyball. She did a short volleyball clinic over the summer and liked it but wasn't hooked. I'm hoping she'll give it another try.
I HATE how you have to get kids super invested in a sport at a young age. My 2nd grader had a tiny bit of experience with soccer and t-ball before COVID. Unlike others in our community, we opted not to do group sports during COVID so now he's "behind" because he doesn't really know how to play a sport. I guess there is still hope for my kindergartener. Ugh.
Great story of you reliving those glory days 😂 And I feel you on older kids finding sports late. My sixth grader is trying basketball right now (I encouraged her since this was the last year for no cuts and with the pandemic many kids haven’t played in two years) but I often get the sinking feeling like it’s too late for her for so many things and it shouldn’t be! Maybe volleyball will be next for her to try thanks to this story.
Love this story! My kids have done dance for years and tried a few other sports and activities. My daughter seems to really have a passion for dance. My son played baseball for the first time last spring and this fall (when he was in 4th then 5th grade) and he was definitely 4-5 years behind most of the other kids! He did well and enjoyed it, but we could tell there were a lot of times the learning curve frustrated him quite a bit.
I loved reading this! What a great thing for you and Mazzy to share even if she insists it doesn’t have anything to do with you - ha! Kids are funny. My kids are both competitive gymnasts and it’s so stressful as a parent to watch them. I was never a gymnast so they’re doing things I never could do and I just love watching them compete. Even if they quit tomorrow, it’s been a few years and they’re so strong and confident because of the sport. I hope they would carry that forward.
Love this story