67 Comments

I accidentally brought a car title instead of my daughters birth certificate when we were boarding a cruise ship this summer… Luckily TSA thought it was hilarious and still let us back in the country.

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You need a small appliance slider so you can easily pull your coffee machine out! They are, like, $20 on Amazon and are a game changer.

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Dumbest thing I can remember doing is very cliche, but it was searching the entire house looking for my glasses so I could leave the house. About 15 mins later I walk past the microwave, see my reflection, and realize I was wearing my glasses the entire time. 😓

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I was very proud of myself for fixing a leak under our kitchen sink instead of calling a plumber. Even more proud that I put a plastic container under it in case it leaked again. Sure enough, it did (clogged p-trap, am I right?), so I undid the pipes, and took the full container of water to dump it out, and proceeded to dump it in the sink. The sink whose pipes I had just disconnected. 😂 Threw that container back under pretty darn quick. (Unclogged things, fixed it and it hasn’t leaked since.)

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Sep 15, 2022·edited Sep 15, 2022Liked by Ilana Wiles

This literally popped up as I wait at a Starbucks to wait for my dad to come pick me up cuz my decades of running my fuel tank to the bare bottoms finally caught up with me. My dad and husband have warned me forever to not run my tank to E and well today I ran my hybrid to E going uphill, got stuck and even AAA filling the tank wouldn’t get it to start. Had to tow it and now I am waiting with my mocha. Lesson. Learned.

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My dumbest thing yesterday was work related, definitely wouldn't translate well here. But I will share that on our 3.5 hour drive up to our vacation home for Labor Day weekend, my husband probably wanted to kill me at one point. I realized about 2 hours in that I forgot our daughter's swim suit (for a weekend spent on the beach). So we stopped along the way at a Kohl's, I bought the only one I could find in her size and the style I wanted for way more money than I'd otherwise pay, and we were on our way, stopping for fast food before we got onto the freeway. At some point I started searching for my phone. I had left it at Kohl's. So we turned around, drove back the 11 miles we had progressed since I left behind my phone, and yes, it was at the customer service desk there. And this was after we left as early as possible because my husband wanted to beat our friends up to our place to make it welcoming for them as our guests. I can only imagine how frustrated he was internally, but to his great credit he didn't say anything. For the most part, I do dumb things every single day, but thankfully I don't remember most of them because they are small things.

For your cabinet, would a mirror in the back work? I used to have a narrow cabinet with a mirror in back to more easily see all the stuff back there. The only downside was freaking myself out sometimes, thinking my reflection was someone else (lol).

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I made coffee the other morning "with out" a cup underneath....what a mess.....

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Sep 15, 2022·edited Sep 15, 2022

Not recent but my favorite dumb thing: I wrapped the wrong Amazon box for a present for my then-4yo. His reaction when he opened it to find a box of light bulbs was priceless, and I could not stop laughing. I still do when I remember! Silly mom.

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I have a few including:

Freaking out looking for my phone while being on the phone, trying to go through the turnstile without swiping my metro card, trying to lock my door with my debit card….list goes on lol 😂

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Our freezer has ice in the door. Yesterday I was trying to put ice in a water bottle and heard this grinding sound. I tried to take out the ice bucket and it was frozen stuck in the door. So I chipped away at the ice and finally broke it free. Tons of ice fell on the floor, so I put the ice bucket on the counter and picked up a bunch of the ice to toss in the sink. Then I proceeded to fill my water bottle with ice, except there was still no ice coming out, so of course the next logical thing is to curse at it. Then I saw the ice bucket on the counter. I felt like such an ass.

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So frustrating! I highly recommend a small motion sensor light (wireless stick on) for the cabinet and possible a stick on mirror so you can see the back of it easily. I know looking can seem like such a small thing, but these small tools that make the things we do daily easier are gold to me!

Here’s the light:

https://amzn.to/3qMLuyg

I use one in my top drawer so I can grab workout clothes without waking my husband.

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When I lived in NY, I was coming back inside the apartment building from the early AM dog walk. Keys in right hand, poop bag in left hand. Opened the garbage shoot with my left hand and threw my keys in as hard as I could. The worst part? I didn't realize it until I tried to open my apartment door and could figure out why I still had the poop bag!

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My stupid thing has unfortunately happen on a few different occasions! More than once I put the coffee cup upside down and couldn’t figure out why coffee was going all over the counter! The second thing I have done on several occasions is forget to put a pod in! Filling my cup up with creamer (cause I put that in the cup first) and water. Mornings are not my time to shine!

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OMG the timing on this…. Last night the chill of Fall was in the air. I decided I wanted a hot chocolate. I filled my single serve coffee maker with hot water, put 3 scoops of hot choc mix in my mug, lined it up and hit start. Minutes later I see brown liquid filling my mug. Ugh, I’d forgotten to take the coffee pod out from in the morning. I had now made a Mocha. NOT what I wanted… 🙄

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I dropped my daughter off an hour early for dance class. I forgot we switched classes and she doesn’t have a phone so she just patiently waited after I kicked her out of the car. When I went to pick her up she said, “we are just getting started, come back later!” I felt like a dummy. Mega mom fail.

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I brew my coffee without a mug under it at least once a month.

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Oh man I ran out of water today! That sounds 🥴Also did they change the nespresso, ours is very old but the container comes off

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Only mentioning this because it's coffee-related and happened (or ALMOST happened) today...I make coffee in a French Press and grind my own beans and came real close to pouring the hot water into my coffee grinder. Like so close that I had a panic about it and felt my stomach drop. Coffee routine can't involve much thinking!

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I once put paprika in my coffee thinking it was cinnamon. You don’t make that mistake twice!

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I accidentally sent my kid’s therapist the middle finger emoji when she sent me a text reminding me of their appointment. And my response came across sarcastically “thanks 🖕🏾“ 🤦🏾‍♀️😬

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Pregnancy brain really took over this morning when I let my dog have a super tiny like centimeter sized bite of my cinnamon raisin bagel. And then immediately realized what I’d done and that raisins are toxic to dogs. Luckily I don’t think there was a raisin in that part and he is doing fine but thank god for the AKC pet poison helpline.

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My 7yo daughter got a bad splinter in her heel. I tried my best to get it out, but it was bleeding and I was really struggling, so I decided to take her to urgent care. I couldn’t get an appointment until 9:15pm (!), so I had her take a shower and get in PJs, took her for ice cream and then waited for our appointment. They finally had us come in to see a doctor at 9:45. The doctor looked at her foot and said, “Do you want to take another look at this? Is this what you saw when you were trying to take it out?” Of course, I looked and there was nothing there anymore; it had likely fallen out in the shower, but I hadn’t checked it before we left the house. What a waste of 3 hours and a charge of $285 from Urgent Care…!!!

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Also a coffee incident, but mine was that I filled it with water, placed coffee grinds into the filter, turned on the machine, then took the dog for a quick walk. When I got home, I realized that I forgot to put my mug under the machine so there was just coffee all over the counter and floor. Oops!

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That’s hilarious! I love it. You should make a “The Ilana and Mike Show.” It would be a great serious for Apparently: we all need more comic relief than ever before.

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We have two indoor cats that have taken to playing in our attached one-car garage. To get them to come in, we would open the door and call their names. They started ignoring us. So we started shaking a treat can to get them inside. They started ignoring that too. So now I open the freezer drawer, toss an ice cube across the kitchen and they chase after it. Works every time. It's perfect! The other day I was rushing to take my kiddo to school so in a frazzled state I open the drawer, toss an ice cube, watch both cats scurry into the living room and leave. Come back 2 hours later, after treating myself to a starbucks and a chill drive home.... and the freezer is just wide open. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

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😂😂 mike is such a good guy!

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I was pruning something in the garden and accidentally cut the main stem - killing the entire plant. I do it at least a few times a year and haven't learned yet to be more careful. I also had a period of brain fog and any time I had ice cream I would put it in the fridge instead of the freezer. Usually my husband caught it before the next day. So for several months he had to put it away for me to avoid ice cream disaster.

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I have set the coffee pot more than once without actually putting water in!! Such a disappointment when you wake up thinking you're about to pour a cup but there is none!

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Sep 16, 2022·edited Sep 16, 2022

I drove around for 3 days in the hottest heat of August thinking something was wrong with my car AC. My daughter got in my car and asked me why I had my heat on when it was literally 100° outside. I had the defrost on a few nights earlier and forgot to change it back to cold.

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You need a light in that cabinet! Dumbest thing I did recently was stab myself. We were renting a house for vacation, my husband bought my younger daughter a bubble wand of some kind and she was very excited to play with it. It was really strapped into the packaging and I couldn't find any scissors. I decided to use a serated knife. I thought to myself "I'll keep my left hand so far away to make sure I don't cut myself." Well, the knife slipped and my right hand flew, stabbing my left hand on the side of the palm just under the index finger. Drama ensued. Suffice to say I severed a nerve, required intricate surgery, and I'm now in recovery that will take several months. Kitchen safety fail.

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Dumb coffee-related things:

- one morning I forgot to put coffee grinds in the basket so I brewed hot water and added creamer before I even noticed.

- completely forgot to put the cup under the spout

- started the brew, then walked away to do other things and completely forgot about my coffee.

When I need coffee in order to make the coffee, I’m leery of the rest of my day

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I once put Diesel in my car. Car broke down after 5 minutes on the highway, had to be towed and it cost $700 to empty the tank and clean the engine.

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Yesterday I put the ice cream back.

In the fridge. 😔

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I've also got a water related story... We've got one of those extender hoses for the kitchen faucet. The kind that you can stretch over to the stove to fill a pot or down to the floor to fill the dog's water dish. So me and my infinite wisdom thought that since it reaches to the floor to fill dog's dish, it will absolutely reach the window sill to water the plants. It almost made it and then I tugged just a little too hard and the faucet hose popped off and and I had a geyser spewing water all over the kitchen! Up towards the ceiling, hitting the cabinets and spraying back down to the floor. And I stood there with the hose in my hand - without a clue how to stop the water - and then the dog walks in and starts to drink the water off the floor and the cat jumped in the window to get away from the puddles and knocked the plants I was going to water onto the floor. Did I mention it was like 3 am and I woke the entire house up? Yeah. I did that. #WhatAMess

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founding

I could probably tell so many stories! But coffee related - I've at least once tried to brew without water, grinds, or a mug.

I also once brushed my teeth with fruity toddler toothpaste. That stuff is gross!

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I put the ice cream away. In the fridge. 😔

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I got some ice out of the deep freeze in our basement storage room on Sunday afternoon. On Wednesday afternoon, I went to grab some chicken to thaw, and the freezer lid was hanging wide open. Wide open! My husband insists he hadn’t been in the storage room all week, so it was definitely me. The freezer and all of its contents were still frozen solid, thank goodness. Can’t wait to see our next electric bill!

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Sep 16, 2022·edited Sep 16, 2022

I took a half day off to go to the DMV. Once I got to work, I realized I forgot all the paperwork I needed to get a new ID. No big deal, I could just find it online and print it out. Printed it out right away and put it safely in my planner. Got to the DMV and halfway thru the line I realize I forgot my planner (with all my paperwork!) on my desk at work.

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I am having SUCH a dumb month and the first dumb thing has seemingly spiraled me into a completely dumb avalanche of other dumb life mistakes. Started with an overheated cell phone in FL that made it into a cooler and completely ceased working. Leading to a lack of cell phone for far longer than I am proud of for a multitude of complicated factors. So mostly cell phone-less, I have been spilling things (coffee on a comforter TONIGHT), dropping things, forgetting things, name the dumb stuff and I'm doing it. So watch out...sometimes dumb begets dumb.

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That stinks you can remove the tank. Maybe you can get one of those tap lights to stick to the side so you can have better light?

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I make a pour over coffee every morning. The one day I was running late for work and quickly boiled the water, set my pour over and filter over my travel mug and waited for the kettle. When the water boiled, I quickly poured the water into the filter and moved on to something else - only to discover I hadn't put the coffee grinds into the filter! Ugh. Filled my travel mug with hot water only. Refilled the kettle and tried again. As if I wasn't already running late.

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You should install one of those shelves that are on a track system so you can pull out the whole shelve to reach the back

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In my house we very frequently push the button to dispense the coffee before putting the cup under…the struggle is real!!

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I just told my sister I want her to come home (she lives out of state) for our cousin's baby shower. Did not even ring a bell that the date in my nephew’s 4th bday. My only nephew and my godson 🤦🏻‍♀️

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My husband is in charge of the plants in my house, but I've been trying to save one upstairs that's dying. As he left for work, he reminded me not to over water it. But I was pretty sure it was too dry so I poured a bunch of water in there, then went in my office to work. About an hour later, the babysitter comes in to say there's water dripping out of my first floor ceiling fixture (you know, one of the new ones that was just installed along with a new ceiling a year ago.) Apparently the water that drained out of the plant overflowed onto the floor, dripped down through the ceiling and out the light fixture. Oops.

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Oh no! What about a stick on push button light to see better?

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Thank you for sharing! I needed this today!

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I broke two ribs getting off a boat.

The story: we had taken the pontoon boat to a new beach. I wasn’t sure how deep it was, so decided not to jump off feet first. I decided to go down on my stomach. At the point my ribs needed to clear the front of the boat, my right side caught instead. I immediately felt them separate. Ouch! An X-ray a few days later confirmed. Thankfully it was a minor break. It’s been three weeks now and the pain is so much better. Also, it turned out the water wasn’t too deep to jump or sit and plop feet first into the water.

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