Over on Instagram last week, I wrote about how the world seems to be going to hell in a handbasket. For those who missed it, here’s what I wrote:
There’s too much bad news happening right now. Personally, I’m finding it harder and harder to even pay attention because it feels like it might break me. But of course when you do that, things hit home and you are unprepared. Earlier this week I posted about Hurricane Ida in Louisiana having no idea that it was about to hit NYC. We actually drove into the city Wednesday night, not realizing how bad it was about to get. We are fine in the East Village though. We slept through most of it, have a few leaks from heavy rain but there was no flooding in our neighborhood. Yesterday, I was planning on posting something about the abortion ban in Texas that was upheld by the Supreme Court. But then after the storm, I found myself trying to decide which disastrous thing I should post about first. I just couldn’t find it within myself to do either.
I know a lot of people look to me to articulate their feelings on certain things and I like being that person, but I’m struggling. I ended up not posting anything. I focused on getting my kids ready for school (haircuts, Covid tests, new sneakers), met with some friends and then binged Clickbait on Netflix. I’m in self preservation mode.
I think for four years, it was easy to follow the news because there was one very clear boogeyman who we just had to remove. There was an end goal. But now we know it’s not that simple. There are too many things to be mad about. Too many people focusing on the wrong things. A climate crisis that seems truly insurmountable. But yes let’s restrict women’s rights so today’s fetuses can struggle to live in tomorrow’s wasteland.
Sorry RBG. I know you wanted better for us. Now it feels like you are watching over our neighborhood like the ghost of progress. I wonder if she would have seen a path forward.
From the comments underneath that post, it seems like so many of us are feeling the same way. Just overwhelmed with everything and not able to see our way out. I don’t have an answer either, but sometimes it’s necessary to set the big problems of the world aside and focus on ourselves and our families for the moment. So today, I want to open a discussion about the little things in our personal lives that are going right. Yes, I know it’s a privilege to be able to shut the outside world out, especially for those of us personally affected by Covid and Hurricane Ida, but I think we are all badly in need of a distraction, a positive spin and permission to smile.
Mike finally completed his pandemic gardening project- more on that soon!
Mazzy and I went to Splish Splash with friends last week. The rides they wanted to go on were a little too scary for her. She tried and failed to convince her friends to go into the wave pool instead, so I said I would take her. Much to my surprise, she agreed, and we went off on our own. We hadn’t been in a wave pool since we went to a resort in Mexico years ago. She was so little at the time and absolutely loved it. The waves seemed much smaller this time around, but that’s probably because Mazzy is so much bigger. Even so, we spent a good hour in there, splashing through the water, jumping over the waves and laughing together. She was so happy. Even though Mazzy is starting to look more like a teenager (and act like one too), it was like for those few moments, big kid Mazzy took a break and little kid Mazzy came back to visit. It was the best.
We have been struggling financially lately and it’s really been getting to me. Then, out of nowhere, I was offered an amazing promotion with a huge salary increase, and it was written in my contract that my workday is done everyday so that I can pick up my boys from school!
My 9 year old kid, who has *really* been struggling with getting to sleep, put herself to bed last night and didn’t get up. This was huge! Love to all here.
My grandpa died in June. He was cremated and his ashes were added to the urn where my grandmother's ashes have been for the past 11 years. We buried the urn over the weekend in a rural South Dakota cemetery and it was the most beautiful day I could have imagined. They raised 7 kids, had 23 grandchildren and 46 great grandchildren. We got to see tons of family and remember my grandparents with lots and lots of laughs. And, of course, my 3 kids had the absolute best time swimming for hours in a hotel pool with their cousins.
The past few months have been stressful on a level I can’t articulate, but for the best reasons. I had my second and final baby, a little boy, at the end of May. Now we have one of each (2 under 2) and it’s exactly what we always wanted. 3 weeks before the end of maternity leave, I got a new job with a 20% salaried raise. I got my 401k payout from my old employer which allowed us to be ahead on bills for the first time in my adult married life and post COVID, and also left enough to take our first real vacation next year. Then my old employer called me back and offered me more money than my new job, a management position, and salary (which I wasn’t before). When I told my new job, they took it extremely well and countered for even more money.
Like I said, stressful in a way I can’t articulate, but all of them are such wonderful things to be stressed about and I am so grateful for the growth at exactly the right time in my life. Hard work pays off!!!
Personally I teach high school and we are going back to school in person!!!! No hybrid, no remote. I had a restful summer. This was from my Mom who emailed me this and it helped. "Hopi Indian leader White Eagle commented on the situation a few days ago:
′′ This moment humanity is currently experiencing can be considered a door or a hole: the decision to fall into the hole or walk through the door belongs to you.”
If you consume the information 24 hours a day, with negative energy, constantly nervous, with pessimism, you will fall into this hole. But if you take this opportunity to look at yourself, to rethink life and death, to take care of yourself and others, then you will go through the portal.
Take care of your home, take care of your body.
Connect with your spiritual home. When you take care of yourself, you take care of everyone at the same time.
Do not underestimate the spiritual dimension of this crisis. Take perspective of an eagle who sees everything from above with a wider view. There is a social demand in this crisis, but also a spiritual demand. Both go hand in hand.
Without the social dimension, we fall into fanaticism. Without the spiritual dimension, we fall into pessimism and futility.
You are ready to go through this crisis. Grab your toolbox and use all the tools available.
Learn the resistance of the example of Indian and African peoples:
we have been and are still being exterminated. But we never stopped singing, dancing, lighting a fire and having joy.
Don’t feel guilty for feeling lucky during these difficult times. Being sad or angry does not help at all. Resistance is resistance through joy!
You have every right to be strong and positive. And there’s no other way to do this but to maintain a beautiful, joyful and bright posture.
This has nothing to do with alienation (ignorance of the world). This is a resistance strategy.
When we walk through the door, we have a new world view because we faced our fears and hardships.
That’s all you can do now:
– Serenity in the storm, stay calm;
– Make the habit of meeting the sacred everyday;
– Show resistance through art, joy, trust and love.
My recently diagnosed dyslexic 7 year old gave an awesome presentation to her 2nd grade class about dyslexia and she rocked it! It was amazing to see her speak so confidently, when last year she was always embarrassed about her reading ability. She started tutoring today with a dyslexia specialist 😊
This seems so small but man did it feel like a win. My daughter's soccer practice is (by pure luck!) being held at the park that is literally across the street from our house instead of at the park that is all the way across town. With a full time crazy job, two busy kids, and a husband who works constantly during fire season (which lasts longer and longer every year) this small win is a huge win as it will save me over an hour in the car that one day.
I got engaged June 2018. Originally we wanted to elope, but our families wanted a wedding and we went along with the idea and set the date for September 7, 2019. Life had other plans, I ended up getting pregnant and cancelled the wedding because we didn’t have the extra money for that, then 2020 happened. Today I finally said “I Do” in a small elopement ceremony!
I got a kitten! And while she doesn’t replace the loss of my furball of 11 years, she has made my days so much brighter! I also got to go back to Disneyland for the first time in 2 years and there were no lines!
I started working with a nutritionist in mid-May. To date my A-1 C numbers are back down to normal range, my cholesterol has lowered and I have lost 28 pounds! I am super proud of these results.
My daughter started kindergarden last Wednesday. She was really sad because she missed her friends from daycare. Today, when I went to pick her up, one of the girls from her class called her name when we left the room. She ran back and they gave each other a big hug and said I’ll see you tomorrow. It was the best moment, I’m so happy she already made new friends! ❤️
My 7yo daughter got over her fears and passed the deep water test, jumped off the diving board, and went on the water slide at the pool! Of course, it was the last weekend the pool will be opened, but there is always next summer 🤣
My 4 year old daughter started the new soccer season & was upset when we showed up to the first practice & she was the only girl on the team. She scored 8 goals in the first few minutes of practice & everyone was in awe of her!
I work at an animal shelter. I work with cats and kittens. While it is always great to see kittens go home, for me it is always fantastic when the 11 year old cat gets adopted. We had quite a few of our older cats get adopted recently. And that always makes all of us happy. Or when our panleuk (deadly kitten virus) kittens survive this horrible virus. I find it easy to escape the real world when I work with these beautiful and innocent animals
I’ve got 2 loaves of bread in the oven. Besides finding kneading dough to be therapeutic, now I’m looking forward to a big ol slice of warm bread with butter.
Thanks for inviting us to share the good, Ilana. I’ve read every entry and am thoroughly cheered (with a few tears here and there).
A few weeks ago, we rented a cottage in the woods close to Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore. Our first vacation in two years. It was amazing! We went to the beach, tubed down the Platte River, hiked the dunes and visited the small towns. I didn’t realize how much I missed being “up north.” We had a wonderful time.
My new middle schooler finally figured out her locker lock! It was stressing me out that she couldn't get it open and was carrying all her stuff all day long. She was getting so frustrated and upset over it but today she finally conquered it!
This summer I acted in some short plays and also worked on an local indie film project. This was this the first time in a few years that I was A) doing some acting work and B) something that was just for myself and not an extension of the my kids’ activities! I actually got to meet one of the playwrights who came from far away to see us perform. She is part of the Asian American Playwrights Collective of Boston and a photo of me and my cast mate was featured on AAPC Instagram page. I know that’s pretty small potatoes acting wise, but as someone who didn’t decide to become an actor until I was in my mid thirties, it feels pretty good!
We had friends over for a family friendly happy hour over the weekend. It was truly the hang out we all needed. Our 2 daughters and their 1 who range in age (8, 3 and 1) had a blast together. And the grown up were just happy to be together. At home it's easy to hide from the scary/sad outside world. And for those couple hours, it was like the world was gonna be okay.
I foster cats and this week I took in a stray off the streets of Vancouver. I posted her photo to missing pets groups on Facebook and a woman contacted me saying she believed it was her missing cat. We exchanged lots of photos and confirmed it was definitely her cat WHOS BEEN MISSING SINCE OCTOBER 2019! The family came and picked her up yesterday and the cat remembers them! So many happy tears.
Ps I choked up about the little Mazzy making an appearance at the wave pool. I’m really going to miss these days when my girls grow up ❤️❤️
While crossing our fingers that vaccines will be available by the end of the year for kids under 12, we booked a Disney trip for January and a trip to NYC in May for my MIL's 70th bday!
Today my 18 year old daughter is starting college! She is afraid, she said “I know I can do it physically, I just don’t know if I can do it mentally!” All the What Ifs are weighing heavily on her mind and while I know all the right things to say and I’ve said them, I also know that only she can quiet those fears!
After a really amazing summer, we are back to school in person and it has been the best few weeks. My second grader has been thriving like never before, making new friends and trying new things which is HUGE because she is a highly sensitive, introverted child. I feel like I'm hitting a groove as a mom now that my kids are 7 and 3 and just feel things flow so much better.
1. We spent time with my sister and nieces at my house last week for a few days- the first time they’ve been back here since the pandemic hit. It was so fun to see them.
2. I had to call Delta airlines customer service to remedy an issue and I was able to get a call back (so I wasn’t on hold for many minutes) and the agent was able to easily fix the situation. So often everything feels hard and complicated and I was so relieved it was easy!!
1. My daughter has gone back to school for her last year at primary in the UK and she is head girl - she has run for school council every year since she was 6 years old and someone was always more popular than her, and we said, just wait, your time will come even if it doesn't look like what you think it will - and she had to do a speech to the whole school, and get voted on - and she got it. After her dad dying in 2019, and then covid, and losing out on so much normal school, this is HUGE for her.
2. We reconnected with some friends that we did first time parenting with - the boys are now a teenager and a nearly teenager - while on a road trip this summer after they moved away 7 years ago. My friends' son is ASD and has had a really hard time with friendships and watching my son be a really good friend to him - and nerd with this kid he used to toddle around with and hasn't seen in years - reminded me that despite his attitude and the challenges of parenting a kid who really misses his dad and is angry at the world, the person I know is in there is actually in there and comes out sometimes.
3. This summer has been awful weather-wise in London, but it's sunny today. Everything is better when it's sunny. I am not watching the news or looking at social media today because I will ruin my sunshine buzz another time.
1. Our four year old made it through his first week of pre-school. We don't have universal pre-K in my town but we do have the opportunity to participate in a lottery for the magnet schools in the area. He was lucky and got a spot in one and has been so excited to go to school every day. He was so ready for a full day program.
2. Our seven year old walked through the doors of her school for the first time since March 2020. We made the hard decision to have her do first grade entirely remote and while she was a rock star during that (with an incredible teacher), the light in her eyes when she entered those doors again were my joy for that day. Even though I sobbed on my drive into work.
3. Our aging dog who has been struggling with his vision and specifically depth perception, jumped off our bed again. He had been too scared to do it for about two weeks. And yesterday he just did it!
My 15 month old and almost 4 year old sons are at the point where they can play with each other. The little one was chasing the big one around the house this weekend and it was the most adorable thing to hear their laughs.
1. My 6 year old lost her 2nd tooth the night before school picture day, so she is ready to proudly smile for the camera with a gap in her teeth today. :) And generally she is so happy to be back at school and making new friends.
2. I have signed her up for a Daisy troop at her school, spent maybe 30 minutes swearing at the Girl Scouts website before I figured out how to get her signed up (I posted that I wasn't sure whether I was the problem or the website and got a flood of responses that it's the website, lol). I hope that the troop brings her more connection to her friends, while still doing safe outdoor activities - she deserves some extra socializing after waiting patiently since March 2020 with limited social activities.
3. We are happily in an extremely highly vaccinated area so COVID is not hitting us like other areas, and we saw some friends yesterday at a park.
4. Less positive but part of our daily lives nonetheless, we are in CA so we are watching the fires, partly because they are coming closer to our vacation townhouse, but at the same time and much more importantly our hearts break for those whose only home is taken by the fires. It is hard to remain positive, and sometimes I wonder where the line is between facing the negative and self-preservation. But thank you Ilana for this reminder to focus on the positive for a minute. :)
Our family had the best summer ever! We got away many times. Our boys went to camp for the first time. We saw family that we hadn’t seen in forever. The weather was beautiful the whole summer. We had never been so busy doing all the things. We are exhausted. I wouldn’t trade this summer for anything.
This summer was filled with tons of fun firsts for our family, which really made it special.
1. We vacationed to Vermont with my two favorite familes and spent it swimming and hanging out. There were 8 kids between the families and watching the kids friendships grow was just amazing.
2. My son kayaked for the first time and decided he loves it and wants to do more with me, even though it is jard work paddling.
3. I tried paddleboarding this summer, and also thought it was super fun and cannot wait to try again!
4. I have a 2 hour window without kids mon-fri now that my youngest started half day preschool. I have not quite taken full advantage of it yet.
5. I learned a lot this summer about true friends and real support which has been super beneficial to my mental health.
I’m finally going to a concert tomorrow night after almost 2 years next month. It’s a big deal because for the last 23 yrs it’s what I’ve done, traveling all over to see Aerosmith and Bon Jovi and many others, about 16 a yr. It’s felt weird not living the life I was used to before last yr. I had hip surgery in 2019 so had to recover from that the yr before. I’ve been working on getting in shape again, and can finally fit in new tops I’ve had like 7 yrs that I couldn’t fit in. I’ve also decluttered a lot even though I’ve always been very neat and rearrange a lot. I’ve gotten rid of a lot of clothes that are too big now, and jewelry I no longer need now that I don’t work. Of course I love binging on Netflix, and trying to find joy in each day with a little something. A cupcake, a walk, put on an record and dance, because life is too short to not.
My boys being very proactive about sharing how their first couple of days in school were! It’s such a huge, positive difference after being remote for 80% of last school year.
Our grandson started kindergarten at Montessori and he loves it. We were concerned since he was home all last year and had little to no interaction with other kids. Our granddaughter started a new school in 8th grade and she loves it as well after over a year in virtual learning. Both schools are masked. We will be getting a new tiny Shitzu puppy in a few weeks. Right now my daughter has her and will deliver her to us in 3 weeks. she weighs in at 2 lbs and will only be
5 lbs as an adult. Being retired has had its moments but these are the things that make us content.
My daughter started sixth grade a couple of weeks ago, and is loving every minute of it. She has dyslexia, so her loving school is not a given.
All of her hard work is paying off - she practiced all summer so much has an easier time at school. And to date school is supportive of her accommodations and they are working.
This is all short-lived, I know something will pop soon. But she just started week three of the school year today and I am going to savor every minute of school going well. Every single minute. ♥️
Ilana, I love your blog and have followed you since Mazzy was born, raising my kids of similar ages alongside. You're funny, smart, kind, caring, and so very talented. I was disappointed to see this language in your post, as I also think you have a track record of tolerance: "I think for four years, it was easy to follow the news because there was one very clear boogeyman who we just had to remove." It is frustrating on many levels, because as a long time democrat, I always felt it was a party of tolerance. I have recently switched parties based on a confluence of events over the last 18 months, both personal and political. I can't tell you how disheartening the reaction has been from long time friends and family members (and how starkly they contrast with the opposite side, who has embraced me for a lifetime regardless of party). Republicans represent half the country (give or take!) and putting them in the category of "monster" for supporting an elected president is real eye opener. My hope for "something good" is that folks can remember that America is built on freedom, and with that freedom should come respect and tolerance for those with different opinions and points of view. I'll happily continue to follow you because I truly enjoy you (and I am tolerant of folks with different political agendas than mine) but I would ask that you give it some consideration. xo.
I don't have anything specific that is good. I've just realized this week that despite everything going on in the world, I really am blessed. I have a roof over my head, food on the table and utilities. I can pay my bills. The last 1 1/2 years quarantining with my elderly mother has been a true blessing. I now know her better than I ever havein my adult life. That has been my blessing in disguise.
Road trip to Niagara Falls for the first time ever. We even went to the Canada side. It was magnificent. Visited cousins in Toronto. From there drive to the New York State fair in Syracuse to see Train. They put on a great concert. Surprised my baseball nut husband and drove him to Cooperstown. Then balanced that with some culture in the Berkshires.We packed in a lot in eight days
My niece got married this past weekend. Had a wonderful time seeing the young, happy couple plus close family members that I had not seen in 6 months and some in 18 months!
We have been struggling financially lately and it’s really been getting to me. Then, out of nowhere, I was offered an amazing promotion with a huge salary increase, and it was written in my contract that my workday is done everyday so that I can pick up my boys from school!
My baby sister is cancer free! She's been fighting for a couple years now.
My 9 year old kid, who has *really* been struggling with getting to sleep, put herself to bed last night and didn’t get up. This was huge! Love to all here.
I’m pregnant after 2 years of recurrent losses and infertility!
My grandpa died in June. He was cremated and his ashes were added to the urn where my grandmother's ashes have been for the past 11 years. We buried the urn over the weekend in a rural South Dakota cemetery and it was the most beautiful day I could have imagined. They raised 7 kids, had 23 grandchildren and 46 great grandchildren. We got to see tons of family and remember my grandparents with lots and lots of laughs. And, of course, my 3 kids had the absolute best time swimming for hours in a hotel pool with their cousins.
The past few months have been stressful on a level I can’t articulate, but for the best reasons. I had my second and final baby, a little boy, at the end of May. Now we have one of each (2 under 2) and it’s exactly what we always wanted. 3 weeks before the end of maternity leave, I got a new job with a 20% salaried raise. I got my 401k payout from my old employer which allowed us to be ahead on bills for the first time in my adult married life and post COVID, and also left enough to take our first real vacation next year. Then my old employer called me back and offered me more money than my new job, a management position, and salary (which I wasn’t before). When I told my new job, they took it extremely well and countered for even more money.
Like I said, stressful in a way I can’t articulate, but all of them are such wonderful things to be stressed about and I am so grateful for the growth at exactly the right time in my life. Hard work pays off!!!
Personally I teach high school and we are going back to school in person!!!! No hybrid, no remote. I had a restful summer. This was from my Mom who emailed me this and it helped. "Hopi Indian leader White Eagle commented on the situation a few days ago:
′′ This moment humanity is currently experiencing can be considered a door or a hole: the decision to fall into the hole or walk through the door belongs to you.”
If you consume the information 24 hours a day, with negative energy, constantly nervous, with pessimism, you will fall into this hole. But if you take this opportunity to look at yourself, to rethink life and death, to take care of yourself and others, then you will go through the portal.
Take care of your home, take care of your body.
Connect with your spiritual home. When you take care of yourself, you take care of everyone at the same time.
Do not underestimate the spiritual dimension of this crisis. Take perspective of an eagle who sees everything from above with a wider view. There is a social demand in this crisis, but also a spiritual demand. Both go hand in hand.
Without the social dimension, we fall into fanaticism. Without the spiritual dimension, we fall into pessimism and futility.
You are ready to go through this crisis. Grab your toolbox and use all the tools available.
Learn the resistance of the example of Indian and African peoples:
we have been and are still being exterminated. But we never stopped singing, dancing, lighting a fire and having joy.
Don’t feel guilty for feeling lucky during these difficult times. Being sad or angry does not help at all. Resistance is resistance through joy!
You have every right to be strong and positive. And there’s no other way to do this but to maintain a beautiful, joyful and bright posture.
This has nothing to do with alienation (ignorance of the world). This is a resistance strategy.
When we walk through the door, we have a new world view because we faced our fears and hardships.
That’s all you can do now:
– Serenity in the storm, stay calm;
– Make the habit of meeting the sacred everyday;
– Show resistance through art, joy, trust and love.
My recently diagnosed dyslexic 7 year old gave an awesome presentation to her 2nd grade class about dyslexia and she rocked it! It was amazing to see her speak so confidently, when last year she was always embarrassed about her reading ability. She started tutoring today with a dyslexia specialist 😊
This seems so small but man did it feel like a win. My daughter's soccer practice is (by pure luck!) being held at the park that is literally across the street from our house instead of at the park that is all the way across town. With a full time crazy job, two busy kids, and a husband who works constantly during fire season (which lasts longer and longer every year) this small win is a huge win as it will save me over an hour in the car that one day.
I took my 9 year old son to the zoo on Sunday. He didn't talk about missing out on video games the whole time we were there. :)
I got engaged June 2018. Originally we wanted to elope, but our families wanted a wedding and we went along with the idea and set the date for September 7, 2019. Life had other plans, I ended up getting pregnant and cancelled the wedding because we didn’t have the extra money for that, then 2020 happened. Today I finally said “I Do” in a small elopement ceremony!
I got a kitten! And while she doesn’t replace the loss of my furball of 11 years, she has made my days so much brighter! I also got to go back to Disneyland for the first time in 2 years and there were no lines!
I started working with a nutritionist in mid-May. To date my A-1 C numbers are back down to normal range, my cholesterol has lowered and I have lost 28 pounds! I am super proud of these results.
We are finally in our dream house with 5 acres and my old house of 22 years sold in 24 hours. Sad to leave a busy city but love the country life now.
My daughters had a lemonade stand yesterday and raised $99.70 to buy items off their teachers wish list. ♥️
My daughter started kindergarden last Wednesday. She was really sad because she missed her friends from daycare. Today, when I went to pick her up, one of the girls from her class called her name when we left the room. She ran back and they gave each other a big hug and said I’ll see you tomorrow. It was the best moment, I’m so happy she already made new friends! ❤️
My 7yo daughter got over her fears and passed the deep water test, jumped off the diving board, and went on the water slide at the pool! Of course, it was the last weekend the pool will be opened, but there is always next summer 🤣
My 4 year old daughter started the new soccer season & was upset when we showed up to the first practice & she was the only girl on the team. She scored 8 goals in the first few minutes of practice & everyone was in awe of her!
1. I just quit teaching elementary school to focus on self care and my two girls.
2. The smoke is lifting in the Lake Tahoe area after a month of awful air quality.
3. I just planned a Yosemite trip with my mom.
My husband and I are celebrating 20 years of marriage tomorrow! <3
I work at an animal shelter. I work with cats and kittens. While it is always great to see kittens go home, for me it is always fantastic when the 11 year old cat gets adopted. We had quite a few of our older cats get adopted recently. And that always makes all of us happy. Or when our panleuk (deadly kitten virus) kittens survive this horrible virus. I find it easy to escape the real world when I work with these beautiful and innocent animals
I’ve got 2 loaves of bread in the oven. Besides finding kneading dough to be therapeutic, now I’m looking forward to a big ol slice of warm bread with butter.
Thanks for inviting us to share the good, Ilana. I’ve read every entry and am thoroughly cheered (with a few tears here and there).
A few weeks ago, we rented a cottage in the woods close to Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore. Our first vacation in two years. It was amazing! We went to the beach, tubed down the Platte River, hiked the dunes and visited the small towns. I didn’t realize how much I missed being “up north.” We had a wonderful time.
I started a new job about a month ago and today I got a promotion that will mean I don’t need to pay for Cobra anymore, so it’s a double win 🙌🙌
My new middle schooler finally figured out her locker lock! It was stressing me out that she couldn't get it open and was carrying all her stuff all day long. She was getting so frustrated and upset over it but today she finally conquered it!
This summer I acted in some short plays and also worked on an local indie film project. This was this the first time in a few years that I was A) doing some acting work and B) something that was just for myself and not an extension of the my kids’ activities! I actually got to meet one of the playwrights who came from far away to see us perform. She is part of the Asian American Playwrights Collective of Boston and a photo of me and my cast mate was featured on AAPC Instagram page. I know that’s pretty small potatoes acting wise, but as someone who didn’t decide to become an actor until I was in my mid thirties, it feels pretty good!
We had friends over for a family friendly happy hour over the weekend. It was truly the hang out we all needed. Our 2 daughters and their 1 who range in age (8, 3 and 1) had a blast together. And the grown up were just happy to be together. At home it's easy to hide from the scary/sad outside world. And for those couple hours, it was like the world was gonna be okay.
I foster cats and this week I took in a stray off the streets of Vancouver. I posted her photo to missing pets groups on Facebook and a woman contacted me saying she believed it was her missing cat. We exchanged lots of photos and confirmed it was definitely her cat WHOS BEEN MISSING SINCE OCTOBER 2019! The family came and picked her up yesterday and the cat remembers them! So many happy tears.
Ps I choked up about the little Mazzy making an appearance at the wave pool. I’m really going to miss these days when my girls grow up ❤️❤️
While crossing our fingers that vaccines will be available by the end of the year for kids under 12, we booked a Disney trip for January and a trip to NYC in May for my MIL's 70th bday!
Today my 18 year old daughter is starting college! She is afraid, she said “I know I can do it physically, I just don’t know if I can do it mentally!” All the What Ifs are weighing heavily on her mind and while I know all the right things to say and I’ve said them, I also know that only she can quiet those fears!
After a really amazing summer, we are back to school in person and it has been the best few weeks. My second grader has been thriving like never before, making new friends and trying new things which is HUGE because she is a highly sensitive, introverted child. I feel like I'm hitting a groove as a mom now that my kids are 7 and 3 and just feel things flow so much better.
1. We spent time with my sister and nieces at my house last week for a few days- the first time they’ve been back here since the pandemic hit. It was so fun to see them.
2. I had to call Delta airlines customer service to remedy an issue and I was able to get a call back (so I wasn’t on hold for many minutes) and the agent was able to easily fix the situation. So often everything feels hard and complicated and I was so relieved it was easy!!
1. My daughter has gone back to school for her last year at primary in the UK and she is head girl - she has run for school council every year since she was 6 years old and someone was always more popular than her, and we said, just wait, your time will come even if it doesn't look like what you think it will - and she had to do a speech to the whole school, and get voted on - and she got it. After her dad dying in 2019, and then covid, and losing out on so much normal school, this is HUGE for her.
2. We reconnected with some friends that we did first time parenting with - the boys are now a teenager and a nearly teenager - while on a road trip this summer after they moved away 7 years ago. My friends' son is ASD and has had a really hard time with friendships and watching my son be a really good friend to him - and nerd with this kid he used to toddle around with and hasn't seen in years - reminded me that despite his attitude and the challenges of parenting a kid who really misses his dad and is angry at the world, the person I know is in there is actually in there and comes out sometimes.
3. This summer has been awful weather-wise in London, but it's sunny today. Everything is better when it's sunny. I am not watching the news or looking at social media today because I will ruin my sunshine buzz another time.
1. Our four year old made it through his first week of pre-school. We don't have universal pre-K in my town but we do have the opportunity to participate in a lottery for the magnet schools in the area. He was lucky and got a spot in one and has been so excited to go to school every day. He was so ready for a full day program.
2. Our seven year old walked through the doors of her school for the first time since March 2020. We made the hard decision to have her do first grade entirely remote and while she was a rock star during that (with an incredible teacher), the light in her eyes when she entered those doors again were my joy for that day. Even though I sobbed on my drive into work.
3. Our aging dog who has been struggling with his vision and specifically depth perception, jumped off our bed again. He had been too scared to do it for about two weeks. And yesterday he just did it!
My 15 month old and almost 4 year old sons are at the point where they can play with each other. The little one was chasing the big one around the house this weekend and it was the most adorable thing to hear their laughs.
The only good news in my life is that I planned a beach trip with my girlfriend for November, we are anxious because we couldn't go last year.
1. My 6 year old lost her 2nd tooth the night before school picture day, so she is ready to proudly smile for the camera with a gap in her teeth today. :) And generally she is so happy to be back at school and making new friends.
2. I have signed her up for a Daisy troop at her school, spent maybe 30 minutes swearing at the Girl Scouts website before I figured out how to get her signed up (I posted that I wasn't sure whether I was the problem or the website and got a flood of responses that it's the website, lol). I hope that the troop brings her more connection to her friends, while still doing safe outdoor activities - she deserves some extra socializing after waiting patiently since March 2020 with limited social activities.
3. We are happily in an extremely highly vaccinated area so COVID is not hitting us like other areas, and we saw some friends yesterday at a park.
4. Less positive but part of our daily lives nonetheless, we are in CA so we are watching the fires, partly because they are coming closer to our vacation townhouse, but at the same time and much more importantly our hearts break for those whose only home is taken by the fires. It is hard to remain positive, and sometimes I wonder where the line is between facing the negative and self-preservation. But thank you Ilana for this reminder to focus on the positive for a minute. :)
Our family had the best summer ever! We got away many times. Our boys went to camp for the first time. We saw family that we hadn’t seen in forever. The weather was beautiful the whole summer. We had never been so busy doing all the things. We are exhausted. I wouldn’t trade this summer for anything.
This summer was filled with tons of fun firsts for our family, which really made it special.
1. We vacationed to Vermont with my two favorite familes and spent it swimming and hanging out. There were 8 kids between the families and watching the kids friendships grow was just amazing.
2. My son kayaked for the first time and decided he loves it and wants to do more with me, even though it is jard work paddling.
3. I tried paddleboarding this summer, and also thought it was super fun and cannot wait to try again!
4. I have a 2 hour window without kids mon-fri now that my youngest started half day preschool. I have not quite taken full advantage of it yet.
5. I learned a lot this summer about true friends and real support which has been super beneficial to my mental health.
I’m finally going to a concert tomorrow night after almost 2 years next month. It’s a big deal because for the last 23 yrs it’s what I’ve done, traveling all over to see Aerosmith and Bon Jovi and many others, about 16 a yr. It’s felt weird not living the life I was used to before last yr. I had hip surgery in 2019 so had to recover from that the yr before. I’ve been working on getting in shape again, and can finally fit in new tops I’ve had like 7 yrs that I couldn’t fit in. I’ve also decluttered a lot even though I’ve always been very neat and rearrange a lot. I’ve gotten rid of a lot of clothes that are too big now, and jewelry I no longer need now that I don’t work. Of course I love binging on Netflix, and trying to find joy in each day with a little something. A cupcake, a walk, put on an record and dance, because life is too short to not.
My boys being very proactive about sharing how their first couple of days in school were! It’s such a huge, positive difference after being remote for 80% of last school year.
Our grandson started kindergarten at Montessori and he loves it. We were concerned since he was home all last year and had little to no interaction with other kids. Our granddaughter started a new school in 8th grade and she loves it as well after over a year in virtual learning. Both schools are masked. We will be getting a new tiny Shitzu puppy in a few weeks. Right now my daughter has her and will deliver her to us in 3 weeks. she weighs in at 2 lbs and will only be
5 lbs as an adult. Being retired has had its moments but these are the things that make us content.
We started sleep training our 4 month old, and it's working! It took one 5 minute timer and a pacifier replacement for him to fall asleep!
My daughter started sixth grade a couple of weeks ago, and is loving every minute of it. She has dyslexia, so her loving school is not a given.
All of her hard work is paying off - she practiced all summer so much has an easier time at school. And to date school is supportive of her accommodations and they are working.
This is all short-lived, I know something will pop soon. But she just started week three of the school year today and I am going to savor every minute of school going well. Every single minute. ♥️
Ilana, I love your blog and have followed you since Mazzy was born, raising my kids of similar ages alongside. You're funny, smart, kind, caring, and so very talented. I was disappointed to see this language in your post, as I also think you have a track record of tolerance: "I think for four years, it was easy to follow the news because there was one very clear boogeyman who we just had to remove." It is frustrating on many levels, because as a long time democrat, I always felt it was a party of tolerance. I have recently switched parties based on a confluence of events over the last 18 months, both personal and political. I can't tell you how disheartening the reaction has been from long time friends and family members (and how starkly they contrast with the opposite side, who has embraced me for a lifetime regardless of party). Republicans represent half the country (give or take!) and putting them in the category of "monster" for supporting an elected president is real eye opener. My hope for "something good" is that folks can remember that America is built on freedom, and with that freedom should come respect and tolerance for those with different opinions and points of view. I'll happily continue to follow you because I truly enjoy you (and I am tolerant of folks with different political agendas than mine) but I would ask that you give it some consideration. xo.
I don't have anything specific that is good. I've just realized this week that despite everything going on in the world, I really am blessed. I have a roof over my head, food on the table and utilities. I can pay my bills. The last 1 1/2 years quarantining with my elderly mother has been a true blessing. I now know her better than I ever havein my adult life. That has been my blessing in disguise.
Keeping it light…
School starts tomorrow! 🎉 😉
Road trip to Niagara Falls for the first time ever. We even went to the Canada side. It was magnificent. Visited cousins in Toronto. From there drive to the New York State fair in Syracuse to see Train. They put on a great concert. Surprised my baseball nut husband and drove him to Cooperstown. Then balanced that with some culture in the Berkshires.We packed in a lot in eight days
My niece got married this past weekend. Had a wonderful time seeing the young, happy couple plus close family members that I had not seen in 6 months and some in 18 months!
We got our clear to close today on our dream home! It’ll officially be ours in 2 weeks! Can’t wait to start our new life there