When I started my blog shortly after Mazzy was born, one of my very first posts was called “Rebranding Myself as Mom.” It’s funny because back in 2010, the whole idea of a “personal brand” didn’t really exist (unless you were Jessica Simpson or the Olsen twins) so I felt the need to explain the concept
As a tech nerd / online marketing specialist, my advice is to keep @mommyshorts, create @ilanawiles and redirect followers there. Your old username will be locked for 14 days. You can change it back with this time period. After that, the username will be available for anyone to use. Having someone poach @mommyshorts from you is a headache you don't need. Also, you built that brand from the ground up - be proud of it! And that's the beauty of online, you can be more than one thing at once. You can run more than one brand at once. Sean Combs is Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, his clothing line is Sean John. It's all coming from the creative well.
Thank you for this! From the article, it seems like the biggest issue would be broken links wherever it was linked online previously. I already have both accounts and my plan is just to swap them when the time is right. (In the dark of night when nobody can swoop in and take it!) That way I can use @mommyshorts to redirect people to @ilanawiles in the profile description. Can you think of a reason that wouldn't work?
If the extent of your swap is updating the bio for @mommyshorts and redirecting followers to @ilanawiles, then that's absolutely fine. If you're planning on "Parent Trap"-ing your accounts, renaming @mommyshorts to @ilanawiles and then renaming the current, empty @ilanawiles to @mommyshorts - yes, there would be multiple problems. I don't want to hijack your article talking about tech issues but if you want to chat further feel free to e-mail me at hello@jessicalarson.ca. Cheers!
I wouldn't mind the name change at all - I followed blog first, insta second, and it made sense to link the two but now you're branching out, not so much.... your content is already more than "mom" so I think it makes perfect sense.
I too lie awake in semi-panic about the kids moving on, though for slightly different reasons. Three years ago this month I was in Copenhagen with my husband celebrating our tenth wedding anniversary. I was pregnant when we married so we were also celebrating a decade of keeping a small person, then small people, alive, and our third was about to start school so it was kind of a let's figure out what this next season is going to look like. I was headed away from contract work that fit around the kids and towards regular hours after 10 years at home, he had just started a new role at a firm he was super excited about, and we hadn't had two nights away from the kids since our honeymoon..... while I was sad about what we were moving from (babies, toddlers, preschoolers, milky hugs and snuffling munchkins sleeping on you) that weekend also let me start to be excited about what we were moving towards (career development, three kids in school, more time for us as a couple, bigger travel).
Six months later he was diagnosed with cancer, four months after that he was dead, and now I'm solo parenting two tweens and a seven year old and working and doing all the things, and while I love them with everything I have (although I could have done without the 12 yo spraying Lynx at his sister this morning) keeping life going for them takes all of me, and I wonder what will be left when they are all gone and I'm here on my own.
I had rebranding forced on me in a lot of ways and now like you, I'm trying to figure out what of me there is outside solo parent and young widow and having to do this job because my employer is really kind and lets me work around my chaotic life. This is a really timely post for me, even though just thinking about this stuff is enough to make me want to hide under the bed.
Oh Sarah, I am so sorry. My best friend lost her husband in 2017 and what I have learned from her in the time since is that we all have the opportunity to have many different walks of life. Some people make huge changes by choice and some people are forced down a new path because of unfortunate circumstances beyond their control. She still struggles managing both her kids and her career, but she has also found a new version of happiness that would have been very hard to imagine a few years ago.
As long as you continue to post as you have, the name doesn’t matter to me. As a parent, I struggle with enjoying the stage I’m currently in. I want them more independent, but then miss their “I need mommy” moments. Even 9 years in, I miss the independence I had before, but mom guilt is real and I feel bad for feeling that way. I love my kids, but I want to be true to me too!
I was an empty nester when I stumbled upon your Instagram account. I raised two sons, neither of which had planned to have children. I love kids so I tended to continue to live vicariously through family, friends and the internet. You were such a validating light on motherhood that was not available back in my day. All the changes that are happening with ourselves, our children, and the world around us are hard to handle at times. It so great to see that despite some of the bad crap provided by social media, it has enabled moms(and so many other groups) to find support, validation, and a venting avenue. Now reading about you preparing for the “Ilana” portion of your life, it’s like we are all basically on the same journey just at different times and sometimes different steps. I will continue following what you put out. You, young lady, are an amazing mom and pretty wonderful dang human! ❤️
I think we all relied so much on our online communities through the little kid phase, that many of us feel a bit lost now. There are not many moms talking about parenting a tween or teen in a personal way and there is less universal stuff because all kids become so different from one another at this point in their lives.
I am for sure feeling the pangs of motherhood. Our son just graduated from high school and will be heading off to college in august. Our daughter just graduated college and began a masters program. For the first time in 23 years my husband and I will be home alone.. the phrase “empty nest” makes me sad to think about so to put my mindset right for this new motherhood adventure we are choosing to refer to it as “our cozy nest”. I would give anything to reset the clock and travel the long parenthood journey again. However, now that they are so grown it allows for a reintroduction or reinvention of myself and marriage, which I am looking forward to as well. I love your blog, writing, photos, and nyc ❤️
Gosh, this is just so relatable. I’m mom to an almost 3 year old and I left my attorney in a law firm job last year and my whole identity has become “mother.” I’m trying to get back into some contract work now because I don’t want to lose myself completely but man if kids aren’t a 24/7. So hard to focus on anything that isn’t my little one! Hoping you find your new niche!
I always see the face before the name when I’m on IG, especially so when it’s someone I feel a connection with, and so even when I see Harlow or Mazzy (or the ever elusive Mike) I don’t think MommyShorts, I think oh hey it’s Ilana’s kid, what are they up to… so by authentically connecting with your readers in a real way (before connecting in “real ways” was trending) I think you’ve already rebranded, or super-branded, well past your handle.
Right there with you mama. First, I love Ilana so I would definitely follow her at whatever account she has. ;) Now about parenting. I am so there right now. My daughter just turned 15 and my son is 10. We threw a quinceanera for her and I involved her in the decision-making and planning. Well, let's just say that I was confronted with a human who apparently has taste, opinions and ideas all of which are different from mine. The nerve! Ha! Then on top of that, I prepared a slide show of her 15 years of life. OMG. Besides being in tears and missing those chubby little faces, I was faced with the fact that I'm not that Mom anymore. It's different now, it has to be. I can't just love on my babies and protect them from all the evils of the world. I have to let them go. Not at 18, NOW. It hurts, a lot, but apPARENTly, (see what i did there?? :)) that's what moms got to do. I also happen to stumble into a book that I highly recommend - Motherhood: Facing and Finding Yourself by Lisa Marchiano. This book is guiding me through this new stage of motherhood, this new rebranding that we must go through at some point. So yes, totally support the rebranding, will follow you no matter what. Know that you're not alone, it's just that, like you said, this involves your livelihood. We got this. We got you.
I have been sleep deprived mom for so long and now I am just a sleep deprived person. And I agree with the suggestion that although your readers don’t mind if you are mommy shorts or Iliana Wiles; it’s best to keep the handle so you can keep the memories of being mommyshorts :-)
Changing your Insta profile wouldn’t put me off at all! And I’ve really appreciated the “big kids are wonderful too” content. I’ve been bummed to move out of the baby stage (mine are 7 & 4). As you’ve said, motherhood is bittersweet. And I’m glad this won’t be just mom/kid stuff as I am finally moving out of the no-sleep fog of early motherhood and can actually read books again and pay attention to current events!
While yes, you’re most important title and job is mom, you’re so much more than that and without sounding ominous- the day comes faster than we want where these kids are 15/16 and don’t even want us posting their names let alone pics, stories, successes and tribulations
The best thing you can do for you is start to cut that umbilical cord
My girls are around the same age as your girls (10 and 6), and I've started to feel this same shift your talking about. It's now possible to imagine a world where I'm not focused on mothering 24/7, and that's not something I had the mental space for when they were little. I never left my career completely, but I definitely downshifted for almost a decade. I've now been back to work full-time for 2 years, and am applying for MBA programs in the fall. That would have sounded impossible to me 5 years ago. Seeing them grow older and more independent is both amazing and heartbreaking. When my oldest turned 9, I realized I was half way to 18, and at times it feels like a slow, painful goodbye. I think the renewed focus on myself is part self-preservation, so that when they do fly the nest, I won't feel so empty.
I give you so much credit for realizing now that you need to start finding yourself outside of motherhood. Of course that's a big part of what defines us all Mothers but it's not the only thing. I watched my Aunt who is my very best friend and a Mom of 4, fall apart as each one of her children turned into adults and didn't need her like they used to anymore. She didn't know what to do as she wrapped her life all around her children. I watched her fall down a deep dark pit and become a shadow of her former happy and bubbly self. She is crawling back out of that pit and starting to discover what she likes to do and what she can spend her time on for herself. Seeing this is a big part of why I tell all my Mom friends that you just have to create space for yourself because your are raising your kids to be their own best selves - and that doesn't include being wrapped up in their Moms. My children are young yet (10, 8 & 4) and I keep this in mind all the time! So I love love love that you are taking this direction now so I can follow along with and take all the tips I can!
I would miss mommy shorts because that is what I refer to you as when I talk about you and your accounts. Although, referring to you as Ilana Wiles would make you seem more like a friend and in today’s world it seems you can have more “friends” you’ve never met because of the communities created. I personally enjoy the anonymity that my handle gives me because it’s more of an alter ego that I can sometimes hide behind than anything. Total toss up from me on this one!
As a tech nerd / online marketing specialist, my advice is to keep @mommyshorts, create @ilanawiles and redirect followers there. Your old username will be locked for 14 days. You can change it back with this time period. After that, the username will be available for anyone to use. Having someone poach @mommyshorts from you is a headache you don't need. Also, you built that brand from the ground up - be proud of it! And that's the beauty of online, you can be more than one thing at once. You can run more than one brand at once. Sean Combs is Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, his clothing line is Sean John. It's all coming from the creative well.
Thank you for this! From the article, it seems like the biggest issue would be broken links wherever it was linked online previously. I already have both accounts and my plan is just to swap them when the time is right. (In the dark of night when nobody can swoop in and take it!) That way I can use @mommyshorts to redirect people to @ilanawiles in the profile description. Can you think of a reason that wouldn't work?
If the extent of your swap is updating the bio for @mommyshorts and redirecting followers to @ilanawiles, then that's absolutely fine. If you're planning on "Parent Trap"-ing your accounts, renaming @mommyshorts to @ilanawiles and then renaming the current, empty @ilanawiles to @mommyshorts - yes, there would be multiple problems. I don't want to hijack your article talking about tech issues but if you want to chat further feel free to e-mail me at hello@jessicalarson.ca. Cheers!
Read this article for more tech details: there are definite downsides to changing your Instagram username: https://macpaw.com/how-to/change-instagram-name
I wouldn't mind the name change at all - I followed blog first, insta second, and it made sense to link the two but now you're branching out, not so much.... your content is already more than "mom" so I think it makes perfect sense.
I too lie awake in semi-panic about the kids moving on, though for slightly different reasons. Three years ago this month I was in Copenhagen with my husband celebrating our tenth wedding anniversary. I was pregnant when we married so we were also celebrating a decade of keeping a small person, then small people, alive, and our third was about to start school so it was kind of a let's figure out what this next season is going to look like. I was headed away from contract work that fit around the kids and towards regular hours after 10 years at home, he had just started a new role at a firm he was super excited about, and we hadn't had two nights away from the kids since our honeymoon..... while I was sad about what we were moving from (babies, toddlers, preschoolers, milky hugs and snuffling munchkins sleeping on you) that weekend also let me start to be excited about what we were moving towards (career development, three kids in school, more time for us as a couple, bigger travel).
Six months later he was diagnosed with cancer, four months after that he was dead, and now I'm solo parenting two tweens and a seven year old and working and doing all the things, and while I love them with everything I have (although I could have done without the 12 yo spraying Lynx at his sister this morning) keeping life going for them takes all of me, and I wonder what will be left when they are all gone and I'm here on my own.
I had rebranding forced on me in a lot of ways and now like you, I'm trying to figure out what of me there is outside solo parent and young widow and having to do this job because my employer is really kind and lets me work around my chaotic life. This is a really timely post for me, even though just thinking about this stuff is enough to make me want to hide under the bed.
Oh Sarah, I am so sorry. My best friend lost her husband in 2017 and what I have learned from her in the time since is that we all have the opportunity to have many different walks of life. Some people make huge changes by choice and some people are forced down a new path because of unfortunate circumstances beyond their control. She still struggles managing both her kids and her career, but she has also found a new version of happiness that would have been very hard to imagine a few years ago.
As long as you continue to post as you have, the name doesn’t matter to me. As a parent, I struggle with enjoying the stage I’m currently in. I want them more independent, but then miss their “I need mommy” moments. Even 9 years in, I miss the independence I had before, but mom guilt is real and I feel bad for feeling that way. I love my kids, but I want to be true to me too!
I was an empty nester when I stumbled upon your Instagram account. I raised two sons, neither of which had planned to have children. I love kids so I tended to continue to live vicariously through family, friends and the internet. You were such a validating light on motherhood that was not available back in my day. All the changes that are happening with ourselves, our children, and the world around us are hard to handle at times. It so great to see that despite some of the bad crap provided by social media, it has enabled moms(and so many other groups) to find support, validation, and a venting avenue. Now reading about you preparing for the “Ilana” portion of your life, it’s like we are all basically on the same journey just at different times and sometimes different steps. I will continue following what you put out. You, young lady, are an amazing mom and pretty wonderful dang human! ❤️
I think we all relied so much on our online communities through the little kid phase, that many of us feel a bit lost now. There are not many moms talking about parenting a tween or teen in a personal way and there is less universal stuff because all kids become so different from one another at this point in their lives.
I am for sure feeling the pangs of motherhood. Our son just graduated from high school and will be heading off to college in august. Our daughter just graduated college and began a masters program. For the first time in 23 years my husband and I will be home alone.. the phrase “empty nest” makes me sad to think about so to put my mindset right for this new motherhood adventure we are choosing to refer to it as “our cozy nest”. I would give anything to reset the clock and travel the long parenthood journey again. However, now that they are so grown it allows for a reintroduction or reinvention of myself and marriage, which I am looking forward to as well. I love your blog, writing, photos, and nyc ❤️
Gosh, this is just so relatable. I’m mom to an almost 3 year old and I left my attorney in a law firm job last year and my whole identity has become “mother.” I’m trying to get back into some contract work now because I don’t want to lose myself completely but man if kids aren’t a 24/7. So hard to focus on anything that isn’t my little one! Hoping you find your new niche!
I always see the face before the name when I’m on IG, especially so when it’s someone I feel a connection with, and so even when I see Harlow or Mazzy (or the ever elusive Mike) I don’t think MommyShorts, I think oh hey it’s Ilana’s kid, what are they up to… so by authentically connecting with your readers in a real way (before connecting in “real ways” was trending) I think you’ve already rebranded, or super-branded, well past your handle.
Right there with you mama. First, I love Ilana so I would definitely follow her at whatever account she has. ;) Now about parenting. I am so there right now. My daughter just turned 15 and my son is 10. We threw a quinceanera for her and I involved her in the decision-making and planning. Well, let's just say that I was confronted with a human who apparently has taste, opinions and ideas all of which are different from mine. The nerve! Ha! Then on top of that, I prepared a slide show of her 15 years of life. OMG. Besides being in tears and missing those chubby little faces, I was faced with the fact that I'm not that Mom anymore. It's different now, it has to be. I can't just love on my babies and protect them from all the evils of the world. I have to let them go. Not at 18, NOW. It hurts, a lot, but apPARENTly, (see what i did there?? :)) that's what moms got to do. I also happen to stumble into a book that I highly recommend - Motherhood: Facing and Finding Yourself by Lisa Marchiano. This book is guiding me through this new stage of motherhood, this new rebranding that we must go through at some point. So yes, totally support the rebranding, will follow you no matter what. Know that you're not alone, it's just that, like you said, this involves your livelihood. We got this. We got you.
I will check out that book— thank you!
I have been sleep deprived mom for so long and now I am just a sleep deprived person. And I agree with the suggestion that although your readers don’t mind if you are mommy shorts or Iliana Wiles; it’s best to keep the handle so you can keep the memories of being mommyshorts :-)
Changing your Insta profile wouldn’t put me off at all! And I’ve really appreciated the “big kids are wonderful too” content. I’ve been bummed to move out of the baby stage (mine are 7 & 4). As you’ve said, motherhood is bittersweet. And I’m glad this won’t be just mom/kid stuff as I am finally moving out of the no-sleep fog of early motherhood and can actually read books again and pay attention to current events!
I would love to see you rebrand as yourself
While yes, you’re most important title and job is mom, you’re so much more than that and without sounding ominous- the day comes faster than we want where these kids are 15/16 and don’t even want us posting their names let alone pics, stories, successes and tribulations
The best thing you can do for you is start to cut that umbilical cord
My girls are around the same age as your girls (10 and 6), and I've started to feel this same shift your talking about. It's now possible to imagine a world where I'm not focused on mothering 24/7, and that's not something I had the mental space for when they were little. I never left my career completely, but I definitely downshifted for almost a decade. I've now been back to work full-time for 2 years, and am applying for MBA programs in the fall. That would have sounded impossible to me 5 years ago. Seeing them grow older and more independent is both amazing and heartbreaking. When my oldest turned 9, I realized I was half way to 18, and at times it feels like a slow, painful goodbye. I think the renewed focus on myself is part self-preservation, so that when they do fly the nest, I won't feel so empty.
wouldn't mind the name change at all. I follow all your accounts 😁
I’m totally down with the change! You are more than being a mom.
I give you so much credit for realizing now that you need to start finding yourself outside of motherhood. Of course that's a big part of what defines us all Mothers but it's not the only thing. I watched my Aunt who is my very best friend and a Mom of 4, fall apart as each one of her children turned into adults and didn't need her like they used to anymore. She didn't know what to do as she wrapped her life all around her children. I watched her fall down a deep dark pit and become a shadow of her former happy and bubbly self. She is crawling back out of that pit and starting to discover what she likes to do and what she can spend her time on for herself. Seeing this is a big part of why I tell all my Mom friends that you just have to create space for yourself because your are raising your kids to be their own best selves - and that doesn't include being wrapped up in their Moms. My children are young yet (10, 8 & 4) and I keep this in mind all the time! So I love love love that you are taking this direction now so I can follow along with and take all the tips I can!
I would miss mommy shorts because that is what I refer to you as when I talk about you and your accounts. Although, referring to you as Ilana Wiles would make you seem more like a friend and in today’s world it seems you can have more “friends” you’ve never met because of the communities created. I personally enjoy the anonymity that my handle gives me because it’s more of an alter ego that I can sometimes hide behind than anything. Total toss up from me on this one!