36 Comments

I live in a state where it is legal. My 12 year old has asked questions about it and we try and destigmatize it and say that it’s a natural substance that can be abused like drugs or alcohol, or it can be used responsibly by adults for any number of reasons. When asked point blank by my 12 year old if we use it, first I almost fainted 😂 and then composed myself and said, “Sometimes we do, yes, but I don’t smoke because it’s terrible for your lungs, just like cigarettes, but there are other ways to use it that don’t harm your lungs. If anyone ever offers it to you, please remember it’s for adults only and it is illegal for you to use until you’re 21, just like alcohol, but know that you can always tell me and we will work together on the best solution.”

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i think framing it like alcohol is the way to go. weed is less harmful than alcohol but just in a general 'how to talk to kids' way i think they live pretty much in the same category. "this thing is fine in moderation and when you are an adult. some people can use it as medicine and some people use it like a glass of wine like you see me drink sometimes"

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founding

It’s legal here in Canada and sold like alcohol in that proof of legal age is required. My husband and I both use it sometimes to help with sleep but never for fun and we’re open with the kids about it. We don’t drink alcohol anymore after seeing how negatively it’s been impacting our lives to different degrees (like how it destroys our sleep and we can’t function the next day even after only a little bit) and we’re open about the risks around both alcohol and Marijuana with our girls. And even though they swear up and down they’ll never drink or smoke or do drugs we tell them they probably will but we’ll help them do so safely and responsibly, like come get them if they don’t have a safe ride and keep the discussion open with judgement. My parents were so strict about it and it didn’t stop me from doing drugs or drinking. It just meant I couldn’t turn to them when I got into trouble.

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I use THC or Delta-9 gummies nightly and my 4 and 7 year olds know they help my brain let me sleep. I describe them as a tool in my wellness toolbox (that they cannot have until they are much older).

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I frame it like alcohol and not other drugs. But I also discuss it and alcohol in relation to the growing brain. Teenagers are not developed to make the same kind of risk assessment as adults. There are parts of the brain that are still developing which make it harder to stop and assess the risks instead of just jumping in. Adding alcohol and weed to that just makes things even harder.

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founding

Personally, I think normalizing marijuana is a dangerous path for our kids. When I talk about drugs and alcohol to my 16 year old - it is always in the context that doing these things are stupid, as you have no idea how it will affect you - especially as a young man going thru puberty. To say it is harmless is a lie. It IS a gate way drug - being in an altered state and feeling good about it makes one curious about other drugs that might make them feel better/different. That is a dangerous game for an immature mind. Granted, as adults we choose on occasion to do stupid things -like drink or smoke - but in no way should growing kids and teens be doing it. It may have lifelong consequences for their health, their goals, their dreams, their education. A clear mind makes clear decisions. Period.

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Jul 18, 2022·edited Jul 18, 2022

We've talked about how smoking in general is unhealthy and how alcohol is bad for growing brains. I think we will end up taking that route around marijuana as well. For a grown up, a little now and then isn't a problem, but too much will be unhealthy and interfere with your life (my oldest just started watching Stranger Things and we talked about how Jim Hopper drinks too much alcohol because he is sad about his daughter, but that causes him to have made other poor/unhealthy decisions in his life. Same with Johnny in Cobra Kai, another favorite around here). For me, weed falls in that category.

We've also talked about never taking drugs/pills/gummies etc. from anyone else, too, because you really can't be sure what is in any of them. It could go either way, like the baby aspirin posing as ecstasy (from the movie Go, which my kids haven't seen) or stuff laced with fentanyl (which seems to be all over the news lately).

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Jul 18, 2022·edited Jul 18, 2022

As others have said, we talk about it the same way we discuss alcohol. Both are for adults and best used in moderation. We tell our daughter that when she’s a grown up she can make an informed decision about whether to ingest either or both substances. Kids aren’t ready to make those decisions because their brains are still developing and they don’t yet have the proper perspective necessary for making healthy choices.

I also plan to talk openly with my kid about how around age 13 I started using alcohol, and added marijuana a couple years later, to cope with undiagnosed, untreated anxiety and depression. I now know there are so many other options for coping with those hard feelings snd conditions and want her to know that if she’s dealing with those issues she’s not alone and doesn’t need to resort to self medicating to try to manage them.

I also think it’s important to try to help our kids understand that marijuana differs from alcohol in that it can be appropriately used as medicine. I live with debilitating chronic illness and pain, so my daughter has a certain level of understanding about how medication is used for a variety of purposes. She has had lots of questions about my meds and I want to make sure she understands that lots of people utilize marijuana therapeutically the way I do the things my doctors prescribe for me.

I grew up in the era of marijuana being demonized and compared to other substances that can be far more dangerous and addictive, and I don’t think it served us very well. That being said, my brother did use marijuana in an addictive manner. He’s doing awesome now, but I do wonder how much the way we were taught to view illegal drugs as children was a factor in how he viewed marijuana and other substances.

Bottom line, I come at all of these topics with the goal of creating opportunities for open communication. That’s how my mom approached these topics, and I definitely try to follow her approach with my kid.

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We haven’t gotten far down this hole yet (kids are 5 and 7), but we live in a place where it’s totally legal and many of our family members use it regularly. I am of the mind that we should teach that it can be useful for some purposes, but too much can also be harmful (which is the same way I talk about alcohol). Also, it’s sucking smoke into your lungs on purpose, it stinks, and it can make you feel less in control of your body (a feeling that I came to hate when I was younger and experimenting with all of that stuff).

The kids see their grandma and aunties smoke pot all the time, as well as cigarettes. We’ve said that it’s not a great habit to start and that there can be consequences in terms of health, and we’ve left it at that (so far)

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With my 17 year old son, I talk to him about it like I do regarding alcohol. I tell him that under no circumstances should he ever get behind the wheel or in a car with someone after he or they have drunk alcohol or have done anything with marijuana.

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It’s legal here in Colorado and my kids (twins, age 9) get lots of exposure to it, my husband and I both use cannabis in various ways medicinally, though never smoke/vape. We teach that like with other medicines or alcohol, it is to be used by adults and approached with responsibility and education. We are open about the risks and also the advantages. In general, we’re all let’s talk about everything, making topics taboo never serves anyone in my experience.

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I frame it like alcohol, we warned off so many things as kids - tattoos, weed etc and I just think it was overblown and shortsighted. When you outright forbid something in a rigid manner , it shuts down the likelihood of your kids coming to you later with questions. I try to keep everything honest in an age appropriate manner and open for discussion as needed/wanted.

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In my opinion, all drugs are harmful, whether or not they are legal or illegal. I view marijuana in the category of any mind-altering, addictive drug. Not any less serious than any other drug. I personally don’t care whether or not any particular drug is legal or illegal officially. What I care about is that the people in my life are not (and do not become) drug users, even recreationally.

While I technically put alcohol in a less serious category than drugs in my mind, I also treat discussions about alcohol with my 13-year-old daughter just as seriously. Alcohol can be just as addictive and harmful. We have had several experiences in my circle of family and friends that are examples of the dangers. My cousin died when he was 19 in a drunk driving accident. My aunt’s sister JUST died of an out-of-control alcohol binge, after a long, miserable life as an alcoholic. My stepfather became addicted to alcohol and drugs right around the time my daughter was born, ending my mother’s marriage. My friend and next-door neighbor was driving high on drugs while we were both in high school and got into a serious, life-altering car accident. She survived but became paralyzed and lost a significant amount of her cognitive ability and independence, essentially ending the life she dreamed of at age 17.

While I believe people can make their own decisions, in my life and in my parenting, I advise exceptional caution around alcohol and drugs (including marijuana). Neither my husband or I use any type of marijuana. No smoking. No oils. No gummies. We cannot stand vape shops and drug paraphernalia stores. I would explain it to my daughter if she asked about these stores and products just as I do here. They are sold because people have the right to choose, but that I advise to stay away from any substance that can potentially take hold of and destroy your life.

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I ended up framing it much like alcohol as well. That some adults consume alcohol, and some adults might use marijuana. In reality, they're not that much different. Just that the one substance is still illegal in some places (but that that's slowly changing). But we did talk about how the young adult brain is still forming, and using marijuana before 25 can be damaging. And while there weren't any "traditional" legal consequences for the underage drinking in The Summer I Turned Pretty, I liked how the show demonstrated some realistic and natural consequences with it. Fights, poor decisions that the teen characters regret, telling personal secrets, etc. When you look back at the show, I don't think there was any time they showed underage drinking and didn't show a real consequence like that.

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I am totally honest about it. We live in a state where it's legal and there are dispensaries in the area and billboards directing people to them. It is a legal substance that people have in their home. At 6, I started explaining that if he and his friends found candy in a bedroom, bathroom, or a high cupboard that it probably had medicine in it and not to eat it. That opened the dialog. At almost 10, I am showing my kid how to identify it by its packaging. Weed can be categorized like medicine or alcohol, so I just try to be open and honest. It doesn't have to be tricky.

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I’m Scandinavian and come from a family of sommeliers, so that might affect my point of view. Both my kids (2 and 7) have tasted wine and champagne, for the taste of it. Both boys had a drop of vintage champagne when they were born, before they tasted my milk. It’s just a part of who we are. BUT we always talk about drinking wine for the taste of it, not for the effect.

And to me - that’s the big difference. I drink for the taste of it. I tried weed, lsd etc for the effect of it (late teens/early 20s). So we will make a difference in talking about alcohol and drugs that way - one is to be enjoyed responsibly and one is taken for the effect. Drugs can hurt your brain and for that reason you have to be damn sure what you’re getting and who you’re with. I’m not going to forbid them anything, but I want them to be smart about their choices.

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Like others have said we frame it like alcohol. Once you are old enough you can choose to try it or not. To us they are the same and while we have used both, with our child present. we don't smoke in front of them but adults will go outside and smoke and come back to the gathering were kids are present. to me the less we stigmatize it the less power it has.

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I had been thinking I would have the discussion in a similar way as others are sharing - akin to alcohol usage. I live in California, where it's long been legal and even longer, readily available. But when I read a recent article from the NYT about how the weed that's available today is more potent and potentially addictive than the weed available in my younger years, that gave me pause and am now rethinking what to say. Personally, I will occasionally have edibles, but very rarely smoke anymore. NYT article: Psychosis, Addiction, Chronic Vomiting: As Weed Becomes More Potent, Teens Are Getting Sick https://nyti.ms/3HOpiLY

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I live in WV where it is is legal for medicinal purposes but illegal otherwise. My son is only 5 but I think, as a parent, I’m going to take the same treat it and discuss it like alcohol. (Because it will be legal eventually). It’s safe, at a certain age, in moderation like alcohol. I work as a substance abuse therapist and I’ve lived in Europe where the culture is much different regarding marijuana and alcohol. I think if you make it a big deal it’s more enticing. If you discuss it in a way in which it is normalized and not forbidden, it takes away the charm - it takes away that teenage urge to go against the rules. Yes it has effects and consequences just like alcohol, which many of our kids watch us consume. My parents always told me, “if you drink or your driver drinks and you need a ride I’ll come get you no questions asked because that’s the smart, adult decision and that keeps you and others safe.” & I think I’ll take that same rule when it comes to marijuana. Just talking about it in a realistic way. Like it exists because it’s only going to become more “normalized” in society.

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I have a close friend who works in an in patient mental health facility and she says they’re seeing an increase in unexplained (no previous self or family history) psychotic breaks or bad reactions similar to what you might see from hard drugs in young adult habitual marijuana users. She doesn’t know of data to support this yet but it seems to be a trend. I think it’s important for kids to know that, like alcohol, being legal doesn’t take away pot’s risks!

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We have talked about how mind-altering substances can be harmful if you're not careful. Well also talked about, though, that drug laws regarding marijuana are based more in racism than in the actual danger of the drug. Our oldest is almost 13, but we plan to keep the conversation going as she gets older.

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Jul 19, 2022·edited Jul 19, 2022

I had a cousin who died of accidental overdose when my oldest was 8. Drugs have always been a part of our discussion. My daughter also had the DARE program in elementary. It was cut before my son got to that grade. When my cousin died, I sat my daughter down and told her that what he did amounted to suicide. It’s harsh, I know. And once an addiction sets in, it is very much a disease. But you cannot become an addict if you never try them in the first place. In most cases, the choice to take the first pill (or puff or shot) is their own, knowing what the stakes are. Marijuana isn’t in that category, but it is not something to be taken as harmless, either.

Marijuana, I think, is like alcohol, in terms of explaining it to young kids. Something for adults. As they get older, I’d include things like it’s effect on those around the smoker. (My daughter once came home from a Fall Out Boy concert with a contact high because Wiz Khalifa opened up for them, so pot was everywhere, even though it’s illegal in public.) By the time a child is in middle school, they are exposed to the concept regularly and most are ready for a more in depth conversation about details. This is where you can introduce long-term effects, discussions on if it’s a gateway, etc.

I’m going to be blunt here (no pun intended). I hate that our state legalized it because people are jerks. If they limited it to their house, great. But I smell it when our neighbors smoke it in the backyard. I smell it in parking lots when they “hot box”. I smell it everywhere I go on The Strip (Las Vegas, tourist town, they can’t smoke in their rooms). And I see studies about how it affects kids and teens brain growth.

I did what I could to educate my kids and let them know my views, hopefully not coming across as old fashioned or grumbling about “kids these days”. Now, they are 18 and 22 and it’s in their hands to decide what to do.

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It's legal where I live and I am also an occasional user and keep some in the house to help with anxiety and insomnia. And my 12 year old is aware. We've had many conversations about what it's for, what it does to your body (the good and the bad) and the fact that there is a required age for purchase (growing brains are affected much differently than adult brains). It's the same conversations we have had concerning alcohol, smoking, and even sex. I want her to know that if she has any questions, thoughts, or concerns, she has adults who she can talk to. And I just hope that I am setting her up in a way to navigate this world successfully when it comes to all this.

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My oldest (almost 9) has adhd and spent her year working with an executive function coach- empowering her to understand how her brain works! It’s been so helpful to be able to have this as a back up for all conversations around growing up and are using it in a similar way with her neurotypical little sister (6). We talk about the prefrontal cortex and how in kids it’s not fully developed until 25, and kids with adhd probably 28 or 30. And that part of your brain has a lot to do with making smart decisions for yourself! Kids are going to experiment and I think- having had undiagnosed adhd myself and a rebellious streak- being told things were ‘bad’ or not to do them pushed me towards it more. I think understanding why- for all things parenting is super important for kids and helps them know they can trust you with anything. That’s the hope anyways.

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I’m trying to navigate this one myself. My twins are sophomores this year and know a lot of people who do it. Didn’t you have a list of funny ways to turn it down, while also being non judgmental? I swear I remember reading one somewhere. Trying to arm my girls with ways to say No

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My family just moved from Texas to Illinois, where cannabis is legal. I have a fourteen year old son who I’ve also watched Stranger Things with. Marijuana is lumped in with cigarettes and alcohol: enjoy responsibly at 21. I stress that cigarettes are unhealthy, but marijuana is a natural alternative.

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I have discussed it in similar terms as alcohol and cigarette smoking. In terms of alcohol we related the fact that marijuana should only be utilized by adults when they reach a certain age, but with similar negative health side effects as smoking cigarettes. As a health care provider my children are probably bombarded with facts and stories about the negative side effects/long term consequences of both cigarettes and alcohol. My girls are still fairly young (8 and almost 11), so we talk about these things, but I try and let them lead the conversations so I know how in-depth I need to go with the conversation.

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Canadian here. We approach it the same as alcohol, particularly because it’s legal here.

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I’m following to read the comments but also want to point out- you mention that gummies are far less harmful than smoking a joint. And having done both, I would disagree with. Especially if you share a joint, it’s a small amount of THC you’re consuming. With gummies, even if the package says how much MG is in each bag, each piece might have a different amount and people can have completely different reactions (and tolerance levels). Personally, I can consume much more than my husband, but his brother tried a minuscule piece and had a TERRIBLE experience. With a joint, it’s like a one-and-done session. With edibles and gummies, the feeling can last MUCH longer with no way of “coming down”

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