Answers to All Your Sleepaway Camp Questions

Mazzy just returned from sleep-away camp on Saturday. She was gone for five weeks. Every time I mention that on Instagram, people think that’s a crazy amount of time. Which is funny because one reason we picked her camp is because it offers shorter sessions, starting at two weeks. I wanted Mazzy home for at least half the summer.

When I went to sleepaway camp as a kid, most campers went for eight weeks. I think we had one or two kids that came for half the summer and it was always hard on them because everyone else was staying the whole time. Imagine leaving your friends in the middle of summer, knowing they would all be together another month? Or entering mid-summer after everyone had already established their friends? Maybe some kids could do it, but I was not one of them. By sending Mazzy to a camp with four shorter sessions, it means that many kids transition in and out. Another reason to send for a shorter session is to spend less money. I think Mazzy’s shorter session camp makes for a more diverse group of campers.

Now, one thing I didn’t think about until this year, is the impact shorter sessions has on building those lifelong friendships that people always equate with camp. Mazzy went for two sessions. The first session was amazing. Then all but three kids in her bunk went home and stayed for the second session. She had to meet and make friends with all new kids mid-way through. We got one letter home at the beginning of the second sessions that said she didn’t like it and wanted to come home. I called the camp director to see how she was doing (since the letter was most likely written a few days prior and a lot can change in a few days) and he assured me that she was now doing fine. He even sent me a few smiling photos. Mazzy’s happiness was confirmed on our weekly phone call (just ten minutes per camper) and by the time she got home, she said that she loved both sessions equally and had made close friendships in both. I think the transition between a whole new set of kids was just hard, as to be expected. But it also shows you that you can’t freak out if you get a sad letter home. Things can shift and fall into place pretty quickly.

Since Mazzy has been home, she’s been on the phone with her camp friends non-stop, which shows me that in the two years she’s been going to the same camp (first time in 2019, skipped 2020 due to the pandemic and now in 2021), she’s still managed to develop some very meaningful friendships with returning kids. There really is something to be said about being on your own with a group of kids, 24 hours a day, that lends itself to a kind of closeness that is hard to duplicate elsewhere. Mazzy has clearly found her people at this camp. And thanks to modern technology, it’s much easier to maintain those friendships throughout the year than when I was a kid.

How did we find her camp? It was kind of an accident really. We went to a camp fair to look at a specific camp and then while waiting in line at the booth to talk with them, Mazzy started talking to a camp director at a much smaller table. He told her about a smaller, less flashy camp where kids get to choose some of their own activities and how they all wear necklaces with beads to signify camp values like respect, courage, and caring. By the time we reached the table of the camp we intended to learn about, Mazzy was dead set on going to other one.

Mazzy’s selection was more rustic (no big fancy lake with tons of water sports), cheaper (made possible by the shorter sessions), and less structured (lots of camper choice and no certified swim instruction). It’s probably not what I would have chosen if I had chosen myself, but we decided that she chose it for the right reasons and sent her. As always, Mazzy knows herself well and loved it. Sometimes I think if we had sent her to a fancier camp, she probably wouldn’t have felt she fit in nearly as well as she does at her camp. It was the right choice. Although, I think if we send Harlow (I’m not sure she’ll want to go to sleepaway but I’m keeping my options open), she would probably need something different. She’s a neat freak who definitely does not know how to operate with so much freedom.

There are tons of different camp options to explore and I heard about a lot of them when I was away on my recent girls trip to Charleston. My friend Pam Bernstein is what they call a “camp lady” which is someone who knows a ton about all the different camps (where they are, what they cost, how they’re different) and will help you figure out which one camp is a good fit for your family. The service is free for parents and she makes her money by getting a commission from the different camps. I asked Pam if she would answer some frequently asked questions that might help prospective parents decide if sleepaway camp is right for their kids. I want to be completely transparent. Pam works for a company called Camp Specialists but this is not sponsored post and I have no monetary incentive to gain. I have known Pam for over 25 years(!), trust her implicitly and just think she is much more qualified to answer your questions than I am.

After all, as a kid, it took me three different camps over five summers before I found my happy place (an arts camp called Buck’s Rock) and Pam spent six years at the same camp and is now sending her three kids there, where many of their bunkmates are children of previous campers too. That’s the dream!

And, as crazy as it sounds, now is the time you should be thinking about camp for next year. If you have any doubt, let me tell you— after a year of being tethered to laptops and iPads, one of the biggest benefits to sending your kid to sleepaway is NO SCREENTIME. Nothing can replace the fact that Mazzy just spent five weeks with no texting, YouTube or Tiktok and still calls it “the best time of my life.” As Mastercard would say, that’s PRICELESS.

Let’s start with the basics. Why send your child to sleepaway camp?

Pam:  My three children (ages 8, 10 and 12) are currently in camp and nothing makes me happier than knowing they are spending time outside, screen-free, and having a blast! Another big reason to send your kid to camp is to help them gain confidence as they foster independence. Being away from home gives kids a chance to take care of their own bodies, their own belongings, and their own social dynamics, all within a safe environment. A good camp will have attentive, loving counselors and enough adults around to step in when necessary to provide your child with support.  

For many kids, camp is also a chance to spread their wings and try new things. Kids learn they can make new friends, try activities they may have never been exposed to, and spend more time in nature. In addition, most camps are completely screen free and this is a huge benefit for kids who are addicted to their devices. Once they’re outside, enjoying activities with their new friends, they don’t miss their screens at all. 

How do you choose the right camp?

Pam:  There are a few considerations to think through. One is gender: camps can be unisex or co-ed. Some camps have brother/sister camps where the genders are separated but on adjacent properties. 

Another big factor is the length of camp. A full summer camp is 7 weeks long, although some of these offer first-time campers a shorter option, from 2-4 weeks. One thing people don’t always appreciate about a 7-week-only camp is that your child won’t have to say goodbye to friends they’ve made mid-session, or re-establish a bunk routine when new campers arrive. Then there are session camps that offer anything from 2 to 6 week options. While a 2 week camp might seem like the perfect length for a first timer, it can often be too short! By the time a child spends a few days settling in and meeting everyone, they’re halfway through camp. I think that 3 or 4 weeks is a great length of time to get comfortable, make friends and build new skills.

Some camps are more sports focused, some are all about the arts or theater.  Most camps are considered “general” and offer a wide variety: sports, swimming, arts, adventure, nature, etc. Unless your child has a passion for their chosen activity and is unhappy doing anything else, I usually recommend a general camp. It’s great for kids to be exposed to many different activities and you may be surprised at what they end up loving! 

The amount of freedom that kids have to choose their own activities is another consideration. A more structured, scheduled camp prioritizes having campers spend time as a bunk, going to a variety of activities together, while an elective, or choice-based camp allows campers to have more individualized schedules by letting them choose their own activities. Many camps have a more structured day for younger campers, then allow more electives as they get older.

What about kids getting homesick? How common is that?

Pam:  Mild homesickness is common and even expected at the beginning. The first few nights in a new place filled with unfamiliar kids can be unnerving! For most kids, that feeling passes quickly once they make friends and get into a routine. A good camp will have trained its counselors to help make campers feel comfortable and support kids in making new friendships. If your child is truly having trouble adjusting to camp, you can expect a phone call from the camp’s directors or counselors with updates and a plan of action. Truly persistent homesickness is unusual.

My readers come from all over the country and even overseas. Can you give specifics on where camps are located and what they cost?

Pam:  Most sleepaway camps are in the Northeast:  NY, PA, CT, NH, VT.  There are West Coast sleepaway camps as well that I’m not as familiar with. I’m sure there are Camp Ladies in CA as well! Sleepaway camp is not cheap, and I know that for many families they can be a stretch. A 2 to 4 week camp can range from $3000-$6000, while a 7 week program can range from $9,000-13,000.

If someone wants to start looking for sleepaway camp for next summer, how can you help?

Pam: I work for a company called Camp Specialists which is owned by the original Camp Lady, Arlene Streisand. She’s been running her business for over 30 years and the depth of her camp knowledge is truly amazing! If any of your readers reach out to me, we will set up a phone call and have a chat about your child, what you’re looking for in a camp, your budget, etc. Then I make a list of camps that fit your criteria. My service is entirely free to families, so if this sounds intriguing, please do reach out!

You can contact Pam at pambernstein@campspecialists.com or reach out by direct message on Instagram to @pambernstein.

Please feel free to ask any questions in the comments! Pam and I will both be answering!

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