My Award Winning Bat Mitzvah Montage

In the months and weeks and days leading up to Mazzy’s Bat Mitzvah, as many of you know, I was working tirelessly and almost exclusively on THE BAT MITZVAH MONTAGE. For the uninitiated, a Bar or Bat Mitzvah Montage is usually about ten minutes long, mainly photos of the guest of honor and played at some point during the party, usually after the speeches, to a seated and captive audience. It is the Bar/Bat Mitzvah equivalent to inviting someone over for dinner and then making them sit through a powerpoint presentation of your recent vacation. The main difference being, all your guests were presumably present for some part of your child’s life and therefore have the possibility of appearing in a picture. That is usually the goal when putting together a Bar/Bat Mitzvah montage— make sure everyone watching is represented.

With this in mind, the montage is usually split up into categories. A chronological account of your child’s life thus far, a sibling section, immediate family, extended family, school friends, camp friends, etc. and then maybe a few additional sections that feel particularly unique to your child. For instance, at a recent Bat Mitzvah we attended, the Bat Mitzvah girl rides horses, so all her horse competitions and horse friends (both equine and human) got a section. For Mazzy, whose obsessions are a little less trophy based, we made a section dedicated exclusively to her eating ice cream. Each section is set to a different piece of music and the song selections (not to mention the transitions!), can make or break a montage.

I should also mention that many people select their pictures, hand them over to a professional and have them create the montage for them. I decided to make the montage on my own, mainly because I wanted to give it “The Mommy Shorts Touch.” I mean, this is kinda what I do for a living. Did I think it would be easy? No. Not even a little. But I knew I had to do it myself.

I could write a full novel on why the montage took me so long to put together, starting with Chapter 1: The Time Before iCloud, followed by Chapter 2: The Time My Husband Made Me Consolidate All My Photos on an External Hard Drive which Resulted in the Accidental Deletion of Half Mazzy’s Baby Pictures. That chapter would include the 10 year period where I was unable to bring myself to look through Mazzy’s baby pictures, thanks to a feature where iPhoto shows thumbnails of all the pics taken (whether they were deleted or not), so every time I clicked on one, it would enlarge into a big pixelated question mark that would haunt me in my nightmares. Probably another reason why the montage took me so long is because I have roughly 400K pictures. But that’s a discussion I should really save for therapy.

To make things more manageable, I decided to make the montage using only photos that I had saved previously on my laptop (most likely because I had used them on my blog or in my book), but then, a week before the Bat Mitzvah, I really needed a few more toddler pics and I wanted to fill in with some video, so I made Mike get out THE OLD EXTERNAL HARD DRIVES, so I could take a look.

If not now, when?

It was actually way less painful than I was anticipating. Now that iPhoto doesn’t exist anymore, all the files were just in a folder, so they were easy to go through by date and since so much time had gone by since the THE BIG DELETION, the photos and videos all felt like found treasures instead of alerting me to what was missing. I also found a folder of baby videos labeled “FLIP” which was confusing at first, but then I remembered that iPhones didn’t have video cameras in 2009 and all my videos from that time were taken on a little white apparatus called a Flip video camera. Anyone else remember those? So, Mazzy’s baby videos were all there, no deletions. Finding that folder felt like the Bat Mitzvah Montage Gods were smiling down on me in that moment. Can Bat Mitzvah Gods grant a Hail Mary? Most likely not, but thank you Jesus! I was able to find what I needed quickly and easily. PHEW.

It was so easy, I almost had a moment where I thought I could start over and build the whole montage exclusively from videos, and then Leah (who was sent into my life specifically to help me edit this colossal thing together) saw the wheels churning in my head, got a panicked look in her eyes and said, “NO.” We had spent more than enough time on this thing. It was time to export, send to the production company and put the Bat Mitzvah Montage to bed.

Before I go any further, I just want to be upfront by saying, this post is for everyone, but the actual montage linked at the bottom is for paying subscribers only. After much consideration, I decided to post on YouTube with a private link, because although I wanted an uploaded and accessible version to share, I don’t love being public on YouTube anymore. However, YouTube was the only place I could post the montage in full with all the music intact. Nobody has an issue with me posting it publicly, but it just felt like the right thing to do. My plan is to post a shortened, modified version on Instagram at some point (Instagram still remains a safe space for me), but I think it will have to be in sections so I can use the individual pieces of music legally without having a licensing issue. I know, complicated. Which is one reason this took me so long to post! Moving on…

At the party, after the candle lighting and the horah and several high energy dance sessions, everyone gathered around the monitors for speeches and the montage. The adults were seated at the tables and the kids were all sitting on the dance floor. Mazzy had her big moment at the temple and this was my big moment. Thirteen years of taking photos and videos of Mazzy’s childhood, set to music, up there for all to see. Not a 15 second reel, a full ten minutes.

When it was over, I heard a mom friend behind me, who was having her daughter’s Bat Mitzvah a few weeks later, say jokingly, “Well that wasn’t fair!” I said, “This is what I do for a living!” And then, “Don’t worry. You will have other things.” Some parents might go all out on decor, swag or the venue. For us, we had the Bat Mitzvah Montage.

And then, just when I thought it was all over and we could return to the party (another high energy dancing session was surely waiting for us), Mike got up on stage again and took the microphone. What is he doing? I thought. The speeches are over! And then, much to my surprise (and I am rarely surprised), Mike called both Leah and me up to the stage. Then he pulled out two very fancy glass engraved awards and presented us with the first ever Mitzy for “Best Bat Mitzvah Video Montage.”

We are so proud!

The Bat Mitzvah might be over, but my Mitzy will be displayed prominently in our home for the rest of our lives!

Paying subscribers can view my award winning Bat Mitzvah Montage below!