How Worried Should I Be About Big Sister Trauma?

Welcome to the Big Kid Support Group (BKSG)! All support group questions are submitted anonymously through this form. Today’s question deals with sibling relationships.

My girls are 13 and 10 and struggling to find things in common. They used to play so much together and now it seems like the older one has outgrown the younger one. It’s heartbreaking to watch because the 10yo still wants to play like they used to and doesn’t understand why her big sister is no longer interested. She keeps trying, which makes her big sister mad, and it always ends in tears. How can I help them get along better? I’m afraid the rejection is going to have lasting effects.

As much as this sounds like it could have been written by me, it was not. But please know, I fully understand what the OP is going through. It might look like Mazzy and Harlow always get along swimmingly, but that’s only what you see on Instagram. Navigating their worlds growing apart has been one of the hardest things I’ve had to do as a parent. My advice is threefold: