In the last six months, I’ve gotten a bunch of new followers on Instagram (mainly people hopping over from Tiktok I think) and have been fielding lots of questions in my DMs about what I do for living, how I make money, etc. It’s the kind of stuff that I usually keep pretty private, because I’ve always thought that explaining what goes into this job kinda ruins the illusion for people, and I’ve also seen influencers get absolutely torn apart for suggesting that what they do is hard, so I decided that a Q&A would be the easiest way to answer everyone’s burning questions without getting myself into too much trouble. And yes, I think about how I could get myself into trouble every day.
If you missed it, I said “ask me anything” on Instagram and then I split up the questions between work, personal and NYC. Today I’m going to answer the work questions. For the people who have been around forever, you might know the answer to a few of these, but there’s definitely lots of new nuggets in there too!
THE BASICS
What made you become a content creator? Did you have a different job before?
Here’s the short version of my origin story: I was a creative director in advertising, who got laid off right after I had Mazzy. I had done mainly traditional advertising up until then (TV commercials and print ads) and thought it would be hard to find a new job without any digital experience. So I decided to create a website and enter the world of “mommy blogging” to develop a skill on my own that would hopefully prove to be an asset in the agency world. It was meant to be a portfolio piece and then it just took off rather quickly. For about two years, I freelanced in advertising during the day, while working on the blog at night. Once I started securing bigger brand deals, it stopped making sense to continue in advertising, because my rate for a blog post was higher than my day rate at an agency.
Where did the name Mommy Shorts come from?
When I first started my blog, I wanted to create short form content for moms, so that’s where the “shorts” came from. Like film shorts. I liked the name “Mommy Shorts” because it could be taken literally and it also sounded like a humor site. I had a dream of creating a “I Can Haz Cheeseburger” type site for parents. If you are under 30, you probably have no idea what that is. It was the original site that curated all the memes from around the internet. Back before we even knew what the word “meme” meant.
THE TEDIOUSNESS OF DAILY DOCUMENTING
My question is about your story telling. Do you have an idea of how it will go or do you craft it after seeing what you captured?
I always let things unfold and then come up with how I will tell the story. That’s why posting later works for me. And then I can also decide if the story works best as a Day in the Life (DITL), as a blog post, just a pic with a caption on Instagram, etc. When the kids were little and they were constantly being adorable and hilarious on camera, I had a much easier time posting random stuff on Instagram stories without much context. But now that they are more camera shy and don’t always want the silly things they do to be for everyone, I film tiny snippets more to suggest their presence without waiting for them to do or say something funny. I actually film way less of my family life than I used to film. And then I rely on my voiceover to tell the story, which is why Instagram stories have become a little bit harder.
Do you ever get over feeling self conscious when you video doing stuff or are you always feeling silly during your day to day videos?
I used to not be nearly as self conscious actually. In the old school days, I was just filming my kids which feels totally normal. Every parent is shooting endless photos and videos of their babies/toddlers, so I didn’t feel like I was doing anything different publicly. Now that the kids are older and I’m shooting more of myself and random daily activities that don’t involve my family, it feels weirder. I think that’s also because there are so many content creators around now and everyone is very aware of what they are doing, so when they see me shooting myself in the mirror, it feels a little shameless and embarrassing. I honestly don’t understand how younger influencers do it so unabashedly. I’m a little jealous. On the flip side, I have definitely gotten more comfortable shooting myself at home over the last couple of years. I’m just not quite there in public yet!
Do people in public ever get annoyed when they see you filming?
No, because I am very conscious of other people and really try to film in a way that is not that noticeable to others and doesn’t include strangers in the shot. Most of the time, when you see a stranger in a video of mine, like a server at a restaurant for example, I have asked them if they mind being on camera. Otherwise, I just film a lot of hands. I don’t have any kind of equipment besides my phone and I don’t set up shots, so everything is very quick, impromptu and always moving. I want it to be as unobtrusive as possible, particularly for the people I am hanging out with. So if you go out to dinner with me, I will shoot my perspective of walking into the restaurant, an overhead shot of my food and then maybe steal a moment when nobody is looking to do a pan around the restaurant for a wide shot. If it’s someone I’m close with and I know they like appearing in my stuff, I might do a selfie shot with the two of us or a shot of them waving at the camera. But for the most part, I put my camera away. And then later, I’ll look back at what I shot and I’m like— that is the worst camera work ever! Sometimes it’s so fast and shaky, I can tell that I really wasn’t comfortable shooting it.
“YES, THAT’S ME”
Do strangers ever recognize you in public? How often?
Yes, and a lot more now because of tiktok. I would say, in the last ten years, I would get recognized once or twice a month, and now, I get recognized almost daily. If I am out and about a lot, it can be multiple times a day. Like last Saturday, we walked around the West Village for about an hour and I got recognized five times. It was crazy. Tiktok is very localized though, so since I’m producing NYC content, I will get recognized more in NYC than anywhere else. But usually when I am on vacation, a few people will come up to me there as well. I like that they always come up to me and don’t approach my kids. Mike has had a few people come up to him too. And even a few of my friends have reported that people recognized them! I also get lots of comments from people saying they saw me, but were too shy to say hi. And then one comment from someone who said I gave them a dirty look in Brandy Melville, and I just can’t imagine that is true! More likely I noticed them noticing me and then they didn’t say anything so I was trying my best to look like I didn’t notice them noticing and then it came off as rude, instead of awkward. I am always trying so hard to be as nice as possible when people come up to me! It has been a weird adjustment for sure, because I feel like I’m trying to live up to their expectation in this really brief encounter. I actually like it when people ask for a photo, because then I can walk away knowing I gave them what they wanted. I also think roughly a third of the people who visit the March Hare come in because they follow me. That never gets old. I so appreciate the support and love being there when followers visit the shop! Or sometimes if I’m not there, they leave a nice note and it makes my day.
PUTTING MY KIDS ONLINE
Do Harlow and Mazzy get compensated for participating in your content?
They do. They always get compensated for sponsored stuff, usually with a special treat or a small purchase in the moment, plus a dollar amount that depends on the project. We also put a percentage of our earnings in their savings account every year, like a salary. But they can also turn down anything that they don’t want to do. Sometimes when they say no, I’ll say, “do you want to negotiate?” and they still say no, and I have to be okay with that. If you’ve been paying attention, over the years I’ve shifted to doing most of my sponsored content without the kids. But they still get that yearly percentage for their involvement in general.
How do you navigate what you share as your kids get older?
I’ve pivoted to make the content more about me, I don’t share anything without their permission (both subject wise and photos/videos), and they get final approval over every DITL. I’m usually pretty good about editing something that they will be okay with, but sometimes Mazzy will veto a certain clip of herself or Harlow won’t like something I said in the VO. I make the change, show them again and that is that. Over the years, their involvement has become much more about things we see and do in NYC or on vacation, rather than personal stories that feel more private. I also don’t take my camera out randomly and start filming. I will ask them first and tell them exactly what I need- like if I need a shot of Harlow waving in the morning or something of Mazzy walking out the door. And we don’t really do unboxings anymore because as the kids have matured, they started to feel more self conscious about opening things and showing their excitement on camera. Which I totally understand. It’s definitely a little kid thing. I am also very aware that a lot of their friends follow me, so I take that into account with everything I post.
Do you ever have second thoughts about putting your kids on the internet?
Every day. One more reason that I’ve pivoted to make my content revolve more around me. I am very careful about what I put out there, I intentionally don’t post in real time so no one knows our exact location and I have the names of certain places blocked so no one can leave a comment with them. Again, it got a little weird when the Tiktoks took off, because my content has always been for parents and now kids in NYC are following it too. So both Mazzy and Harlow will get feedback on what I post from kids at school. Mazzy told me that she doesn’t mind (so far it seems like the feedback has only been positive) but Harlow wanted her involvement to be more on her own terms. She came to me with the idea to do her own VO, which is how the chocolate shop video happened. We had the best time making it and it was a great exercise for her reading too. But it’s completely up to her whether she wants to do another one. On a positive note, I do think both kids have a level of knowledge about social media and how it works that has been extremely beneficial and made it much less enticing for them. They don’t see it as that cool. It’s something mom does.
Are they ever annoyed by any of your old posts about them as babies?
No, they love them. Mazzy has read my entire book and loves the stories about her; most of them things I never would have remembered if I didn’t write them down. I was always very conscious that they would read my blog one day, and never included anything that I thought might embarrass them later on. Most of the funny stories are from when they were under the age of five and don’t reveal anything private. Parenting stories are pretty universal at that point.
What have you done with the old insta2yearold and pinkinnyc accounts?
They are still there! Insta2yearold is now @mommyshortssquad and pinkinnyc still exists, but I haven’t posted on there in years. I don’t really post on @averageparentproblems either. Over time, they became more trouble to keep up then they were worth. Ultimately, I think people really want to follow another person, instead of a platform or entity, and that’s who brands want to work with too.
EARNING A LIVING
How do influencers (like yourself) make an income on Instagram?
The large majority of my income comes from sponsored content. I’ve been lucky in that I’ve been able to diversify throughout the years so I am not dependent on one platform. It’s probably split between Instagram and Tiktok. I also make money from my paid subscribers, a minimal amount from the creator fund on Tiktok which pays per view, and Amazon affiliate sales mainly from my holiday gift guide. Although I will say, I did one tiktok shop ad for a hair appliance (that’s Tiktok’s version of Amazon) and I made as much money with that one ad as I did with the entire gift guide last year. I think I just got lucky because it happened to do really well, but I get why so many creators are doing Tiktok shop ads now. It’s a little too easy.
What does Mike do?
This is probably my most asked question. Everyone on Tiktok seems to think he owns a bank or something. Nope, Mike used to work in fintech, but left his job right before the pandemic. It’s possible he will go back if the right opportunity comes along. But right now, he’s a small business owner. He co-owns and manages the toy shop. He is also the CFO of Mommy Shorts and helps me with the business end of content creation— payroll, invoices, contracts, site maintenance, etc. He’s also been incredibly smart with investing, saving and diversifying what we bring in, and has helped us make a lot of good financial decisions over the years. I always tell him he should have been a financial planner, but I think it’s more interesting when it’s your own money. And then lastly, he is an incredibly involved dad and partner. I owe so much of what I have been able to accomplish to our marriage and partnership.
How are you able to make content creation viable financially with your audience? Based on what I’ve seen online, usually 100k followers tends to be the minimum to be able to earn a decent living, and you’re in NYC and manage to employ staff as well! What do you do differently that has made you able to be successful with your dedicated audience, rather than relying on continual growth? I know you’ve had growth recently, but I also remember posts a while ago about how you were satisfied with your audience size and didn’t feel the need to keep growing. You’re obviously doing something really well, so I was curious if you know what it is!!
This is a great question. The main difference between my account and others that might be much larger, is that I have been around for a long time. When I started, I was literally one of the first people doing branded content. This is back before advertising agencies and brands had social media departments. When I reached out to a brand to partner with them, I first had to explain what my blog was, before I explained how posting about their brand on it could move the needle for them. I was also coming up with all the campaigns myself and just getting brand buy-in. There were no social media agencies at that point coming up with the campaigns and hiring influencers just to execute. Basically, I was doing content creation before content creation was even a thing, competing with a very small circle of people. Now there is an entire industry built around it, with new people entering the space all the time, where I have a proven track record that has been consistent for 14 years. You could argue that an audience of 175K who have been loyal to you for ten years is more valuable than an audience of 1M who just decided to follow you two weeks ago. Also, if you look at my Tiktok account, which has 365K and compare it with other accounts that have millions, you will see that in a lot of cases, my engagement rate is actually much higher. In fact, my views/likes per video are pretty competitive with a lot of them. Especially for my sponsored content which tends to be very well received. Not only do we have proven results with brands/agencies, my team (Cara and Leah) have a buttoned-up process that makes the brands’ lives easy. We follow their briefs, we give them concepts and scripts for approval before we shoot them, we deliver on time and we give them a document with the results afterward. There is no chasing us for content. We also create quality work. I think agencies hire some influencers for numbers and some for the quality of their content, and probably like to have a blend of both to show their clients. In any case, the brands and agencies we work with come back to work with us again and again. Also, keep in mind that people switch agencies and move up the ladder all the time, so someone we had success with on one brand while they were a junior account person, might become a senior account exec somewhere else and recommend us to a whole other agency and brand portfolio. There are obviously tons of content creators now, with tremendous followings, so it’s a lot harder to stand out as a newcomer. I am a trusted, vetted account and after this many years in the business, most of the agencies know who I am. Lastly, I do not negotiate my own deals. That job belongs to my manager Cara, who knows how to sell me and prove my worth better than I ever could on my own.
STAYING RELEVANT
You've pivoted so many times, do you ever miss those phases of blogging or still photo Instagram or do you get excited to jump into the next trend?
I’ve always liked switching things up and trying something new. It can be intimidating at first, but the act of figuring it out and then starting to find success is incredibly satisfying. I don’t think you can survive in this business if you aren’t willing to try new platforms. Beyond staying relevant, you also have the opportunity to create additional streams of income. If I hadn’t figured out Tiktok, I think I would be struggling to maintain my income on just Instagram this year. As far as missing old school blogging or still photo Instagram, I feel like social media has changed in a way that works for my stage of parenthood, and it’s helped shift my priorities in a positive way. Old Instagram used to be about creating the perfect image, which was way more stressful and intrusive to our time together as a family. Now I can just film random things willy nilly and know I’ll make it work later in the edit. It’s kind of freeing. I still have to figure out how to evolve what I’m posting on Instagram in-feed though. Even though I’m not taking nearly as many photos, I haven’t been able to give up on the beauty of a carefully curated grid. It will be the death of me.
WORK LIFE BALANCE
I want to know how you balance needing to be on your phone so often, recording everyday events, and staying present with your friends and family. I am on my phone a lot for work and it’s a struggle for me, but at least I get a break! I was thinking about it when you were posting while on vacation. I appreciate the MSU timeline being different than your real life timeline because I can imagine how hard it is to keep up and also have some downtime!
I think you answered your own question partly. The MSU (Mommy Shorts Universe) timeline is how I balance things like documenting my vacation. I record things in real time, but I don’t post my stories until later. I usually save that job for when I accidentally wake up at 5am or for when we are back from vacation and they are in school. Then it’s done during my workday like any other working parent. Also, as I talked about above, I have become pretty good at knowing what relevant pieces I need to record in order to create a story or a DITL. I am no longer recording my kids constantly on the off chance they say something funny or do something cute, it’s just snippets so I can reference their presence in my voiceover. This is one reason the DITLs are working so well for me now. Doing a voiceover means I don’t have to rely on my kids to tell the story. Another trick I have is that I often don’t look at what I am filming. Like if I am recording a dance recital or them skiing, I just hold the phone up and hope for the best. I always used to feel like I was missing things by watching them through my phone.
One more thing I want to add is that when I look back and think about all the time I spent my recording my kids, I can start spiraling wondering if I wasn’t really present with them when they were little. But if I’m honest, I found a lot of things about taking care of a baby really boring and I think documenting added a creative piece to it that kept me engaged, appreciative and paying attention.
I think that’s it for now! These were a lot of fun to think about and answer. I’m proud of what I do and I don’t get the opportunity to really talk about it much, so thank you for the questions!
If you have any other questions, please put them in the comments and I will try to answer in the next one!
FYI, the email went out with Leah as the writer because she was the one who started the document by putting all the questions in for me to answer. I forgot that substack would default to whoever initiated the post as the writer. I hope people weren't confused when they opened the email. I obviously wrote this! Uggggh, hate when I work all day on something and then make a stupid mistake that might impact people reading my stuff.
I think you are right on with agencies/brands wanting to work with you because of your history with your audience. I buy more things through/because of you than I do any other content creator. I have been a follower since little Harlow! I trust your recommendations and with my oldest being the same age as Harlow I feel confident that you “get” this stage of parenting.